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Monday, March 31, 2008

Dejavu..

Do you have over 20 pairs of shoes, a closet overflowing with clothes, and 4 vip bags full of more clothes that did not fit into the closet? And yet, do you look at your clothes each morning and let out a sigh while saying, "I dont have anything good to wear!"?

This is a repost but apt to be published again. Ten days ago (when those dreaded floods turned my life topsy turvy), I realized that I fell into this category of girls described above. The number of clothes in my possession overwhelmed me as I cleaned out my closet in frustration. I came across something I bought in 1995 that looks hideous in 2008. I am proud to say that it used to fit me up until last year. Perhaps, one of the reasons I never threw it away!! Maybe I was waiting for a day that I would outgrow it (today is the day!) and hence have a "valid" reason to chuck it instead of merely being bored with it, and thus be in the danger of looking like someone with whimsical tastes and a lot of money to spare and spend.

And as I spent the entire week unfolding and folding the huge mountain of clothes, I realized that there are some garments that I bought just for the heck of them being on sale and had never worn them, while there were some that I had held on to with the hope that I would one day be "thin" enough to look good in them. Needless to say, that point of satisfaction has still not come and they still remain new with labels on them.

Well, the 4 VIP bags have now been reduced to 1. And the wardrobe that was once overflowing is now quite open to newer clothes. What an irony!! Guilt laden, I think of the number of rupees and dollars spent on these clothes, and how I could perhaps use this money today towards the gas that my car guzzles each week these days. Thank God for Salvation Army (who accepted 8 trash bags yesterday from yours truly) that accepts donations. At least, I know that these clothes will be put to good use as opposed to being used as a mop for the kitchen floor.

Now let's start talking about the shoes and the handbags..(or maybe not)!! I guess, by now, you must have an idea. Are you one of those girls too (or in the company of one of those girls)? Any Carrie Bradshaws reading this article and wanting to rave about the number of Manolo Blahniks they have!!?

Saturday, March 29, 2008

I love my Vicco!

Beauty..the much coveted attribute. Sighs of relief ,when a baby is born fair-skinned in India, are commonalities. Children these days aim to be Miss Universe. Teenagers read Cosmo Girl and persuade their gullible and giving parents to pay green to straighten their hair. Young women live through crash diets and find more to experiment with. And the others ogle at them, reinforce them, and say, "WOW! You are so skinny. I wish I were like you" or "She is so beautiful".

Beauty...the most coveted attribution and perhaps, the least useful for a worldy woman. What use are admiring glances and compliments apart from the momentary sky-rocketing self-esteem and maybe, some unwanted vanity? Heard of derogatory terms such as bimbos? I also take the word "chick" to heart. I do not wish to be a doll for someone to look at until they are bored with it or the object of someone's lustful fantasies.

Beauty..the most coveted attribution and perhaps, also a curse. Your face value remains your only value. People fail to appreciate your intelligence, your hard work, your qualities, and your achievements. And when they do, its usually a "Beauty with Brains" comment...with a topping such as "a rarity".

Is that really true? Do beauties rarely have brains or do we fail to pay attention to their brains because we are so smitten by their beauty, because beauty in our minds is more glamorous, or because beauties are not that common? People often ask me why I dont exercise to enhance my curves, of course in not such an explicit way. They also ask me to go get my hair done or to wear certain shades of lipstick. They are often appalled that I dont like to wear make up to work. I only say, "Thank you very much. I love my Vicco Turmeric. That suffices!"

Thanks, and pay attention to the beauty within.
*Repost*

And the winner is...

And the winner is............................rolling drums.......

Story 6 by Ashish!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his Chaddis at his own wedding .

Guests came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "Ye Andar ki Baat Hai".

She fainted.

*CLAP CLAP*

Ashish, you will soon receive a gift hamper in the mail (which might get lost)!

Thanks a ton everyone for your votes, and stories, and smiles, and laughs. This was fun!!!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Future

I was asked a few days ago, "What are you looking forward to in life?".

After much thought, I said, "Nothing" and I meant it.

A simple question led to a series of thoughts. I felt ashamed that I had nothing to look forward to in life, and that if I did, I was unaware of it. I wondered if I had reached a stagnation point in life where all my dreams either were fulfilled or not that important anymore, or was I simply weary and sleep-deprived and unable to look beyond my basic needs that day, or better still, was I very present-oriented, like the sages in the Himalayas?

I wonder if others feel the same way. Some people look forward to the weekends, just like I do. Some people look forward to graduation, just like I do. Some people look forward to retirement, just like I do. Some people look forward to marriage, just like I do. Some people look forward to children, just like I do.

But I remember looking forward to coming to the United States. But I remember looking forward to working here. But I remember looking forward to buying my own car. But I remember looking forward to a doctoral degree.

What changed? I was happy and satisfied when I achieved all these, for a fleeting moment, maybe a few months in some instances but then what happened? More wants, more desires. Are we innately not satisfied with what we have, always wanting more? Are we always looking forward to a future that seems more complete than our present? Is that why we run to psychics, get excited when a friend can read our palms, and read up our daily horoscope in the newspaper? Does the unknown seem more exciting? Yet, when asked, I said I was not looking forward to anything.

Is your future better than mine? Are you looking forward to something?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Short Story Series III

Now its time for those Late Lateefs..those who submitted stories long after the contest was over..

After you folks are done reading, please please take the new poll on the sidebar.

Story 17 by Amit L!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his UFO at Mars Disco.

His wife came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said 'Guess what-I married an Indian girl during my Earth visit.

She fainted.






Story 18 by Pavi

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his "B'day suit"(ie nude!) at the "Blog club" .

The Bloggers came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "I'm the Psycho, sneha was talking about"!.

They fainted.


Story 19 by Sam!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his car at the villa.

She came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said Mom, I'm home.

She fainted.





Story 20 by Mansi!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his santa costume at her bar .

Bartender Lila came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said Ho burp Ho burp Ho burrrrrrp.

She fainted.


Story 21 by Keshi!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his shirtless-status at Keshi's place.

Keshi came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said 'come get me babeh John Abraham is finally here'.

She fainted.

Short Story Series II

Here are some more!!! First timers, this is just a continuation of readers' contributions from two days ago. More stories later!! BTW, the contest is now closed!!

Enjoy!

Story 9 by Amit!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his bullockcart at Ny int'l airport .

Angelina Jolie came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "would like to have a test drive, maa'm??

She fainted.


Story 10 by Rohit!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his shorts at her office.

She came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said I forgot the condom in you bag. ;)

She fainted.



Story 11 by Ceedy!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his swimming trunks with his large belly hanging out at the apartment complex's community center.

Guests and family came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said (embarisingly) thank you all and specially YOU for the suprise birthday party

She fainted.

Story 12 by Vivek!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his bicycle at 12am .

Grandma came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "your time is up"!.

She fainted.


Story 13 by Deobrat!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his coffin at the door .

She came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "Darling, I am not going to leave you in peace".

She fainted.


Story 14 by Ankur!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his Limo at the airport, where Deepika must be arriving soon.

She came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said, "i want to ask you something, i was waiting, for you, the moment you come to India" , "Will you marry me?"

She fainted.

Story 15 by Vagabond Dreamer!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his Beatup jalopy at her apartment building.

Sarah came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said honey i shrunk the kids.

She fainted.

Story 16 by Iceman!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his "langot" at the birthday party.

The birthday girl came out, she saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said should I do a favor by taking that off as well & did a full monty!

She fainted.


Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Short Story Series

Hey folks! Thanks for your response on Short and Sweet.

Enjoy the stories...and be sure to take the poll on the side bar regarding this post.
More of these to come in the next post!


Story 1 by Ghost Particle!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his boxers at Wendy's.

Sneha came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said happy birthday poochkins.

She fainted.





STORY 2 by Hiren!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his Tarzan outfit at Taj’s Conference Room for the meeting with prospective high profile clients from South Africa.

His secretary came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "Darling, relax, this is a new strategy to get these delegates notice our weather friendly clothesline ... On such a scorching day there’s no other attire so comforting ... is it? Roy has done a superb job in designing this one; look how conspicuous he has made our brand tag too; make a note we have to give him a raise this time ...”

She fainted.




Story 3 by Big Omi!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his Brooklands , Bentley, at East Front of Buckingham Palace.

The Queen came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said , "Your Highness, Camilla Parker shall coup d'├ętat as Queen and proceed to Rule English Land hereafter".

She fainted.




Story 4 by Satish Bolla!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in "his car(which is badly out of shape), his face bruised and his clothes are torn and covered with mud" at "sharp 8PM(already late b 3 hours" .

"His mother" came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "Mother, I was trying to come in time and in a hurry, didn't notice the parked truck on the turn".

She fainted.

Story 5 by Nirmal!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his new Porshe at Jennifer's place.

Jennifer came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said " Sorry sweetheart meet my new love Angelina".

She fainted.



Story 6 by Ashish!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his Chaddis at his own wedding .

Guests came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "Ye Andar ki Baat Hai".

She fainted.


Story 7 by Preeti!

It was a bright sunny afternoon. He arrived in his 'broken-down, blue Maruti 800' at her 'sprawling mansion'.

She came out, saw him, and screamed.

He smiled and said "I just got married"

She fainted.



Story 8 by Rayshma!

he arrived in his impeccable grim reaper costume at A's doorstep.
A's mother came out, saw him and screamed.
he smiled and said "i've come for A"
she fainted.

Monday, March 24, 2008

6 Word Memoir

Taken up from Ceedy's blog....


This is my current state...very sad state...very stressed out...very chaotic...very tired...

"My apartment ruined by Midwestern floods".

For those who are wondering why I am not visiting their blogs, commenting, or updating my posts, please be patient and accept my apologies. My apartment was flooded last Wednesday and I had to move to a new apartment in 24 hours. I am still trying to set it up, which is a mammoth task considering I am a huge shopper and a hoarder! Morevoer, I have NO internet connection at home YET. Am using the internet at a friend's place. Will be back soon in full form!

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Hum Tum V


What Women Want...
Seems like there is not much confusion here even though men and women do emerge as poles apart..
This post took me more than 10 hours to compile!!

Thanks for all your input, feedback, comments!!!

HERE GOES!

She: If only men would love for love itself

He: If only women would understand that there are things in this world other than love.

(Like what? Sex?)

*********************************

She: If only men would be more patient before jumping on to the next level of a romantic relationship.

He: If only women would understand that sports, sex and beer are really the only things that guys really care about.

She: If only men would realise the depth of relationships than see it as a great past-time.

(But relationships do end up being a good past-time....you keep waiting by the phone for hours and your whole day passes in crying!)

***********************************

She: If only men would try to understand us.

He: If only women would understand men.

(If the above two happened, this post would not be here!)

************************************

He: If only women would understand that mostly we don't understand

She: If only men would stop saying that it is in their nature to not understand.

(Then what will you fight about? Then Tu Tu Main Main would not have existed!)

*************************************

She: If men would understand that women are different - not better, not worse, just different - and let them be.

He : If only women would come with manuals or probably come out with an idiots guide to girls.

She: If only men would realize that women are actually simple and not as complicated as they think!

She: If only men would realise we are actually not very difficult to understand or for that matter please... :D

He: If only women would explain things rather than simple "hmpf!!"


She: If only men would be a little sensible.

(Is this idiot's guide good enough men?)

**************************************

He: If only women would talk less

She: If only men would actually hear and UNDERSTAND!

He: If only women would shut up and not yap

She: If only men would understand the importance of
communication and conversations

He: If women would realize that guys are not perfect but are willing to listen. :)

She: If only men would learn to listen, not just hear.

(Women, I think that even if men heard or listened, they will not DO anything about it and only turn to sports again...will you complain more then?)

**************************************

He: If only women would be women

She: If only men would realize that it's not all that easy being a woman.

He: If only women would be a man for few days

She: If only men would be a little like us!

(Imagine hairy women and pregnant men walking down the streets...what a scene!)

**************************************

He: If only women would tell us how they can cry at the drop of a hat.

She: If only men would dare to shed a tear

He: If only women would not start crying just when we are about to win an argument

She: If only men realise that women don't cry without a reason.

He: If only women be less vain and more sensible, there would be less tears to cry.

(Seems like if men start crying and women stop crying, Kleenex is going to benefit anyway!)

****************************************

She: If only men were emotionally as strong as women.

He: If only women would be less emotional.

She: If only men would have the courage of displaying their emotions!


He: If only women would understand that men are not the emotionless, heartless freaks that they are made out to be.. just because we do not say all the mushy talk expected out of us.

She: If only men would NOT BE SOO INSENSITIVE

He: If only women would understand that men are as sensitive as themselves if not more.

(They do display emotions!! Their eyes bulge out when they see a nice rounded ass, they punch the wall when their favorite sports team loses, and they swear when they lose the lottery!)

************************************

He: If only women would understand the value of men, world would achieve peace for ever...

She: If only men would not doubt too much ... that we love them for who they are.

*************************************

He: If only women would not pretend and confess they like our chivalry.

She: If only men would stop plucking their nose , and think that farting and burping is just OK!

(Women, don't tell me you do not pluck your nose and fart EVER?!)

**************************************

He said: If only women stop cribbing/bi*ching and start living.

She said: If only men looked into our eyes than simply heard the words.

************************************* *

She: If only men would understand what goes on in a girl's mind, perhaps that would solve all complications and complexities of relationships..

He: If only women would say what's in their heart rather than expect guys to understand.

She : If only men would think with their head rather than with their d***

*****************************************

He: If only women keep their legs together, they could leash God!!!

She: If only men knew a woman
more than what they choose to know.

******************************************

She: If only men would learn to respect EVERY WOMAN they meet.

He: If only women would realize someday.. That they are not GOD..!!!

*******************************************

He: If only women would realize the importance of an india-australia cricket match

She: If only men loved greys anatomy as much as women do :)

He: If only women understand men and sports

She: If only men would understand what goes on in a girl s mind, perhaps that would solve all complications and complexities of relationships

********************************************

She: If only men wud stop being protective...life would b heaven!!

He: If only women would allow us to pamper to our fulfillment

She: If only women would come out of their perceived notions about how they must behave to b classified as a 'hunk'

********************************************

She: If only men would wax or shape eyebrows, they would appreciate women a little more

He: If only women would not care too much about how they look :)

*************************************

She: If only men would quit thinking that every female fren might be a potential girlfren.....

He: If only women try being less judgmental upon meeting any stranger!

*************************************

He: If only women would realize, a world without men would mean, lots of happy fat women.

She: If only men would see the heart that still beats for them after (say) 10yrs of marriage and not the monotony, not the thick flab..not anything else.

***************************************

He: If only women would drink beer and watch sports

She: If only women would find life around them to be as interesting as world news.

****************************************

She: If only men would not assume that the fairer counterpart is stupid and weak at Math. Dude we do brains ... and at times they work faster than yours!

He: If only women would realize that NOT every man is a perverted jerk/asshole or whatever you call.

(Men, heard about Shakuntala Devi?)

******************************************

He: If only women would carry on being the sweet angels that they can be!!

She: If only men would love us for what we are.

(Women, try it. Stop waxing. Let's see if they still think we are angels and love us!)

*******************************************
Over and above all, an irate woman said
"If only men go back to Mars or let me go back to Venus!"

Another woman wishes "If men were a little taller." while another woman wishes that "men would see beyond those eyes."

(If men were taller, they would be able to look beyond the eyes, and even above the head!)

These two women want two different things...
One says, "If only men would open up than keep quiet like they missed their toilet break"
but the other cannot stand them talking and says, "if only men could shutup for a moment and LISTEN, not just HEAR.

(Good luck guys!!)

All these understanding and emotional women have a consensus in saying,

"If only men were not all logic and practicality and understood us and our emotions better!"

"If only men care to express their emotions and feelings"

"If only men not be afraid to realize their emotions."


"If only men would realise that there is nothing embarrasing abt expressing/ demonstrating feelings."
(Ladies, men did express their feelings, remember!!? They said they LOVE beer and sports!)

"If only men realize the value of a hug (not the romantic one)."

(They will say that they realize the value of a sexual hug instead..sigh!)

"If only men do not run from commitment like its plaque."

"If only men would be a little less hyper and a little more decisive...."


(Of course they run from commitment and cannot decide real quick when you expect a $6000 ring from Tiffany's!)

"If only men would return appreciation."

(They do give you orgasms for cooking good food...sigh!)

"If only men would delve half as deep as we do in a relationship."


And last but not the least, these women bring the men back to earth and say,

"If only men would clean up after themselves."

(If you clean up after them, they will call you angels, though!)

"If only come out of their perceived notions about how they must behave to be classified as a 'hunk'."

"If only men would stand up for us not just in physical wars but emotional as well."

(Don't you think you are expecting too much when you want these men to switch their eyes from the TV to you, stand up for you in physical wars despite the fact they are not tall, and fight emotional wars too when their emotions are limited only to love for sports?)

Men...are you willing to give women what they want???????????

Friday, March 21, 2008

Prelude to Hum Tum V

So what do you think will Hum Tum V look like?

Do you think all the women will be unanimous or as confused as the men appeared to be?

How different do you think the men and women will emerge?

Do you think the women will fit the stereotype you have about women's demands?

Do you think Men are from Mars and Women from Venus?

Are Mars and Venus so different?
Check it out here.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Hum Tum IV



WHAT MEN WANT! (Ladies...are you reading???)

Here's what men said they would like women to be or not be..
These are verbatim (longer comments have been edited).
If for any reason your comment is not in here, drop me another comment about it!
Enjoy!

If only women would

..understand that there are things in this world other than love

..become a mother, would teach first the love and care to exist.

..show us how a soothing touch and a warm strengthen them for any trouble

(So while one man says there are other things besides love the other wants the woman to teach others how to love and even show how to touch...hmmmmmmmmmm)

..Stop behaving like men: No Cutting Hair Short, No Smoking, No Cussing.

..be women

..be a man for few days

(So while man does not want the woman to even behave like men, the other wants her to become a man for a few days, and yet another wants women to be women (as if they are something else now?)....LOL!)

..Shut up and not yap

..Talk Less

..realize that guys are not perfect but are willing to listen. :)

(Aaah..so this means that when they ask women to shut up they are not perfect but when they don't, they are willing to listen..right?)

..understand that mostly we don't understand :P

..try understanding a lil more better than they normally do!

..Understand men

(Aila!! A few want women to be more understanding but then another openly states that MEN will not understand, though...how fair is that?)

..be less vain and more sensible, there would be less tears to cry.

..allow us to pamper to our fulfillment

..stop behaving like grown ups when they want to treated like a child

(One man wants women to be less vain and more sensible, and the other wants to pamper and treat the woman like a child...maybe women should just act like sensible children..what say?)

..only know that they are always beautiful.

..not care too much about how they look :)

..realize, a world without men would mean, lots of happy fat women.

(Are you listening gals?? STOP going to the beauty parlor. Grow a moustache, let your eyebrows look like a unibrow, show off those hairy arms and legs. They profess that women not only should not care too much about how they look but also know that they are always beautiful. Even when you are fat.)

...understand that men are not the emotionless, heartless freaks that they are made out to be.. just because we do not say all the mushy talk expected out of us.

..understand that men are as sensitive as themselves if not more.

..Be less emotional.

(Ladies, PLEASE understand that men ARE emotional and sensitive but hey...you be less emotional, ok?)

..tell us how they can cry at the drop of a hat

..not start crying just when we are about to win an argument

(Ok..who wants to tell them about how the tear glands and physiology is different in men and women? Maybe they can read it themselves here.)

..keep their legs together, they could leash God!!!

(This guy clearly knows the difference between men and women's anatomy but how does religion come into the picture?)

..complete this sentence I wouldn't have been doing it.

..come with manuals or probably come out with an idiots guide to girls.

(OMG! Did these guys just admit that they do not know how to complete a task or that men are idiots????!)

.. realize the importance of an india-australia cricket match

..understand Men and Sports

..drink beer and watch sports

..
teach us how they can take on so much trouble and not bat an eyelid

(Ladies, can you please explain to the gentleman how you tolerate men and their obsession with sports without batting an eyelid?)

..understand that sports, sex and beer are really the only things that guys really care about.

..that NOT every man is a perverted jerk/asshole or whatever you call.

..understand the value of men, world would achieve peace for ever.

(WOMEN...when will you understand the value of men who value only sports, sex, and beer? Come on now..buck up!! And don't you call the men who value only sex, perverts, jerks or assholes ok????)

.. stop cribbing/bi*ching and start living.

..
say what's in their heart rather than expect guys to understand.

..
explain things rather than simple "hmpf!!"

..carry on being the sweet angels that they can be!!

(Let's be tactful girls. When you say what's in your heart, make sure that its not so much that it seems like you are bitching, and not as little as a hmpf but just enough to make you look like an angel and for men to understand, ok? And when you master that technique, stay that way!!!!)

..love me.

..be crazy about me.

..join my company(that too my section), i'll have better office life.

..
Realize Someday.. That they are not GOD..!!!

..Live and Let Live!

(Aww the first three chaps don't realize like their other counterparts yet that women are not GOD and you don't need them to live, not at home nor at work!)

..be a trifle less, life wud be simpler.

..not pretend and confess they like our chivalry.

(What does that mean? Ooops..I am a woman and I truly cannot understand! Were you being chivalrous with your first statement?)


..try being less judgmental upon meeting any stranger!

Ok men and women..don't be too judgmental in your comments so much so that Psychobabble turns out to be a battlefield for the battle of the sexes. Remember, this is part of the Hum Tum series. Meant to be funny. You can moan, groan, sigh, roll your eyes, and engage in any nonverbal behavior you want (no violence please!) but please no expletives or name calling!

Go for it!! Muhahahahahahahahahah!



Sunday, March 16, 2008

Am I Crazy?

Here are some sentences that you may have uttered to someone else, heard them being uttered to someone else, or you may have been at the receiving end of them. It takes a second to say them and maybe several days for the listener to forget them..


"What!! You like Tuna Fish Salad? Yuck!"

"Gosh! You need to lose weight! You look fat in those shorts."

"How can you not cry? You must not be emotional enough."

"If I would have been in your place, I would have broken up with her a long time ago!"

"Look at the presents her husband gives her. Why can't you do the same?"

"What! You picked Commerce? Are you crazy?"

"You still single at 35? Everything alright?"

"Its high time you plan for a child now. Are you guys nuts to wait so long?"

"Baap re! How can you talk to your boss like that?"

"Have you no discipline? How can you wake up so late?"

"You are already 28. Why aren't you guys getting married? Is your mom not worrying?"

"What direction does your mind work in? How can you think like that?"

"Did you have a head injury when you were young? You are weird."

"All that you care about is sports. How come?"

"Oh my God! You are so boring. You always follow the speed limit."


I only have one answer for all the above statements..

"I am not crazy. I am just not you."

Think about it. Do people seem weird to us only because they are different from us and are not the way WE expect them to be?




Thursday, March 13, 2008

My First Love..

My last post may have sounded very realistic but to tell you the truth, I am quite romantic at heart. As a child, merely ten, I was swayed by romantic movies, and dreamed that I would be part of a similar love story one day. I would play soft music, and roll on the bed, with my dupatta flying all over the place, pretending that I was in love. Everyday, after I got back from school, I would practice feeling shy in front of the mirror. I would fling my hair like I was starring in a Halo Shampoo commercial and position the fan on my face so that I would look like a model. All this when my mom was busy.

I have even fantasized being a martyr, the sacrificing mother who goes hungry only to feed her children and see to it they are healthy. With my little babies, I travelled through murky waters during the floods, and even had a huge towel stuffed under my skirt to dramatize the effect. What can be more painful than to see a pregnant young mother dragging her babies in a boat in knee deep water?

All this was imaginary. Until I experienced the real deal. I fell in love. With a real man.

I truly lost my sleep at night, I swear. I was unable to concentrate on my homework. And I no longer had to act like I was in love when I lay down on my bed. It came naturally; the blushes, the shyness, the rolling on the bed, everything. Every song that I listened to reminded me of him. Aaah..I was in love.

I envisioned getting married to him, and that soon became a recurrent dream. I hunted for his phone number and even asked around. And when I finally did get it, I did nothing with it. Everytime I picked up the phone to call him, my fingers trembled, my heart fluttered, and I was tongue-tied. And then the martyr that I was, I decided that loving him was enough and that I did not want him to know how much I loved him.

One dreadful day, my friend called me and told me that he was married. I was dumbstruck and refused to believe her. However, many other sources told me that this fact was true. I was truly heartbroken. But I was not angry at him. It was not his fault, I told myself. If only he had met me earlier, he would have married me. Needless to say, I hated his wife, without knowing anything about her.

This is the story of my first love, my one-sided love, my encounter with Aamir Khan. I still love him today (I SWEAR!). When he decided to marry Kiran Rao on the 28th of December, 2005, I was heartbroken once again. Especially since I was in Mumbai on that day, and it was only 2 days after my birthday. And I told myself once again, "if only he had met me earlier....."

Oh well!! Today is a special day. Its my first love's birthday! So let's come together and wish him many many happy returns of the day.

MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Love you Aamir.

P.S: Comments with kisses to Aamir Khan will not be published. I am very possessive.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Love Actually...

When will I fall in love?
When will I find true love?
When will I find my Prince Charming?
Will anyone love me?

Wondering what happened to Solitaire all of a sudden? Nothing really. These are just some of the questions that a million posts ask of the readers. All these posts look similar. They talk of rosy, romantic dreams. They reminisce about old times with a first crush, the first kiss, their first flowers, their first compliments, and all that a first-timer thinks about.

Sadly, when we are blooming in our youth, we mistakenly equate romance with love. Romance can come with love. Love can come with romance. But do the two always go together? Not necessarily! I find that many of us dream about "true love" and then wonder when we will find someone to go out with on Valentine's Day, exchanging butterfly kisses and whispering sweet nothings on the backseat of a car, gazing at the starry skies. Some of us go from one relationship to another waiting for those butterflies in the stomach, the loss of appetite, the fixed gaze into space, and flushed cheeks as a sign of having fallen in love. And then some of us, wait for a guy to "propose" down on one knee, flowers in one hand, and a cheesy poem on their lips.

I wonder if in waiting for these signs that SRK (ugggggggggggh!) so fondly portrays as the epitome of love, we are very blindly ignoring the real signs of "true love". The comfort that we experience, the companionship that we share, the unknowing smiles that we flash, and the feeling of being at ease with the other person WITHOUT the loss of appetite and lack of sleep may not necessarily be romantic or make you feel like Bhagyashree in MPK or Salman Khan in HAHK but it may very well be that you have found your companion for life.

You may be fortunate enough to have a candlelit dinner waiting for you the day you complain about having a hard day at work. BONUS! But do not pooh pooh the warm hug or the concerned, "hope you are doing well" from your mate.

The roses that the flowerman delivers look beautiful for a couple days.
The look in his eye when he/she says, "I love you and will always be here for you" will keep you secure forever.
Romance is great. Love is even greater.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

I am Woman!

On the occasion of Women's Day, I take the opportunity to talk about some of my fears. It is not easy being a woman in a man's world. People say that the world is changing. Ask a woman that. She will tell you how much the world has changed. How she is whistled at even when dressed in a saree, how she is groped in the darkness of the cinema halls, how she is not taken seriously in her work place by the men who are envious of her, how she changes her name after her marriage, how she is expected to make sacrifices for her family, and many other woes.

I am a woman and proud to be one but I hope I never....

  • Turn into that woman who will forget about her girlfriends because she is in love, engaged or married..
  • Turn into that woman who looks more like her husband's mother than his wife..
  • Turn into that woman who constantly talks about her mother-in-law's antics and the neighbor's romance life.
  • Turn into that woman whose topic of conversation surrounds jewellery, clothes, shoes, hair, and makeup..
  • Turn into that woman who will put on 60 lbs during pregnancy never to lose it back again..
  • Turn into that woman who is constantly bitching to her husband about what others did..
  • Turn into that woman who spends 50 dollars a week on her beauty parlor appointments..
  • Turn into that woman who is lazy to not go back to work even after her children have grown up..

AND

  • Turn int a "typical" woman.....the one who nags, the one who has "no brains", the one who" "cannot drive", the one who "cries at the drop of a hat", the one who "looks good only in the kitchen", the one who used to belong to her father and now to her husband, the one who will come back home from work and cook and keep house clean while her husband drinks beer and watches Family Guy......

I am afraid I will be one of these women, one day. I am afraid I will be one of those gender-boxed women. A woman that society expects a woman to be and will then look down upon her for being that way. I am afraid that I might be snubbed for trying to be a different woman...and out-of-the-box woman. And I am afraid that no matter what I do, people will look at me as a woman...and not the woman.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

User Manual on Cheating

Look to the right of this page for the responses to a poll conducted in the last couple days on the subject of cheating. There are more people who have cheated on their partners or have considered it than the ones who think that cheating is an absolute No-No! Disturbing, isn't it?

This post is a repost not read by many of you. I think it is a post that should be posted over and over again. Not enough can be said about this.


Are you cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other?

Then you surely need a user manual to do so, for research says that the truth always comes out! Also, there are some "poor" cheaters out there who always get caught sooner than the mean of the population. So if you want to improve your cheating skills, here is a user manual for you. There is no guarantee that your partner won't find out but he/she will find out later than the average population does.

1. Always delete your text msgs to your lover-inbox/sent/trash...all folders.

2. The same applies to your emails.

3. Make sure that you "do stuff" discretely, not in public.

4. Make sure you don't absolutely have this need to "have a girls night out" or "hang out with the guys" every single night.

5. Make sure that you have a different telephone line to talk to your lover and that you always answer your partner's phone calls.

6. Make sure you get rid of all receipts of the flowers you sent or the movies you saw together.

7. Make sure that you don't bring back the scent of his/her perfume on your clothes when you return home.

8. Make sure you don't talk in your sleep at night and blurt out what you are dreaming about.

9. Make sure that you have sworn your friends to secrecy if they know about your "adventures".

Ok..you perhaps get the hang of it..be absolutely careful!

However, this manual is not complete without the next set of tips. Last but not the least:

10. Make sure that your heart is made of steel because you WILL eventually lose the one who is oblivious about your deeds and continues to be loyal to you...if not completely, at least a part of them.

11. Be prepared for your lover to leave you for someone else, just like you left your partner for him/her.

12. Be prepared to live a life filled with guilt, and hopefully some remorse.

13. Be prepared for people to point fingers at you.

14. Be prepared to lose some of your friends who will disapprove of what you did.

15. Be prepared to live a lonely life full of insecurities.

16. Be prepared to be cheated on for what goes around comes around.

Hope this user manual is helpful to those out there who think variety is the spice of life. Maybe it is, but there will be a price to pay for it. Willing to do so..go for it!! If you think, that you have a right to be happy and are not happy in your current relationship, GET OUT OF IT and then find another partner.

My advice for the victims (their partners)..hang in there!! Everything happens for a reason!

Thanks, and stay loyal.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

I remember..what about you??

I wrote this one a long time ago but went back to it again today after talking about the past with a few friends last night. How those days were so different and how things have changed so much now that though more luxurious, our lifestyle can never be the way it was. Here are a list of things that I remember from good old days..

I remember those days.........

  • When Wednesday and Friday evenings were spent watching Chitrahaar in Black and White..
  • When the use of a remote control (the size of a brick) was only to increase/decrease the volume or to turn the TV on/off..
  • When Saturday nights were reserved for movie rentals from the one and only rental store in the area...
  • When relatives used to gather every Saturday evening to watch that one special movie...
  • When the remote control connected to the VCR through a long wire...
  • When I used to listen to Binaca Geet Maala (later known as Cibaca Geet Mala) hosted by Amin Sayani religiously every Tuesday night on Vividh Bharti...
  • When the people in my apartment complex gathered at my place to see the new color TV...the only one that they had ever seen...
  • When DD-2 released, people were ecstatic that they could now watch a second channel.
  • When cable TV released, it had only 5 channels.
  • When going to the airport or the railway station meant I would get to drink Thums Up...
  • When we did not have a cassette player in our car and used to carry a portable one with me everytime I travelled in it...
  • When having a cordless phone was not only a big deal but was also the size of a vanity case with the shrillest sound possible...
  • When letting my hair loose was a privilege...
  • When I saw QSQT for the third time and told my mom that I was in love with Aamir Khan and I was allowed to buy a poster of him...
  • When cellphones were the size of a cordless phone and each minute used to cost 16 rupees...
  • When I asked the store keeper if he could copy a CD for me just like an audio cassette and he laughed at me and said that it was not possible...
  • When I used to play solitaire on the black and white monitor of my computer...
  • When opening an internet site like hotmail would take ten minutes...
  • When the family used to make special plans to go eat pizza at the only restaurant in town that served pizza with mozzarella cheese...
  • When Maggi used to cost only 5 rupees and was known to be sold in Prawn, Sweet and Sour, Capsica, Masala, and Chicken flavors....
  • When I was allowed to have Maggi only on Thursdays and I used to count down the days to Thursday....
  • When Frooti was available only in Mumbai and we used to request people to buy us a crate when they visited the city...
  • When the milkman used to bring milk to our place in a big container and sell it to us according the quantity we needed as opposed to today's poly packs...
  • When people used to ask relatives to buy them jeans from abroad because they were not sold in India...
  • When being seen talking to a boy would mean that you are going out with him...
  • When I was young and innocent..ignorant of the responsibilities that adulthood brings with it...when my life was about smiling, laughing, dancing, and singing...and not about careers, education, bills, money, cars...

I remember those days...the days of my childhood...which remain only a memory.

What do you remember? Put in a comment and I will add it to your list with your name next to it!