Whiners Winners?

They said, "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone". Recently, I conjured up another quote of my own, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Whine and the world comforts you.", based on personal experiences and observations.

Picture this.
A girl in her mid-twenties, immigrated to the United States, lost both her parents at age 18, working hard to make both ends meet and goes to school full-time to get an education. No one knows about her family background. Works daily from 8 am to 8 pm. Always has a smile on her face. Only a few close friends know that she is having boyfriend issues, problems with finishing her thesis, and is afraid that she might not be able to return to India soon to visit her older brother. When you meet her and ask her, "How are you?", she says, "Hanging in there!"
An outsider would say, "What a nice girl. What a smooth life."

Now picture this.
A girl in her mid-twenties, immigrated to the United States, lost both her parents at age 18, working hard to make both ends meet and goes to school full-time to get an education. Everyone knows about her family background. Works daily from 8 am to 8 pm. Always has a frown on her face. Her advisor, roommates, teachers, employers, neighbors, friends all know that she is having boyfriend issues, problems with finishing her thesis, and is afraid that she might not be able to return to India soon to visit her older brother. When you meet her and ask her, "How are you?", she says, "Ohhh I am having such a hard time. Life sucks man. Its all so hard..blah blah."
An outsider would say, "Poor girl. What a sad situation to be in."

In graduation ceremonies, I have seen special awards being given to people who have graduated despite hardships and I have wondered, " Who told them about the hardships?". Sometimes, as the MC rattles on the list of those hardships, I picture two other people in my head that I personally know who have gone through harder times and yet not being given any special award of that sort.

When the girl in scenario 1 eventually breaks down at some point, and starts crying, or becomes aggressive, something that she normally is not, people look down at her. Wonder how such a strong girl suddenly became weak. Wonder if she is a weirdo. And wonder if she needs anger management treatment. And no one bothers to ask her what she needs. On the other hand, when the girl in scenario 2 breaks down, cries, becomes aggressive, people lend her a shoulder to cry on, appear sympathetic, and ask her what they can offer her.

Are we punishing people who are self-reliant and independent, when they do reach out for help of some sort, by rejecting their "new personality"? Are we encouraging people to talk more about their problems if that is their habit? Are we reinforcing extroverts who may like to talk about their problems? Are we giving rewards to extroverted people who like to announce to the world their poor plight as compared to those those people who like to suffer in silence so as not to elicit false sympathies?

Are we then as a society rewarding people who whine in comparison to those who do not?