Sweetest Day

October 18th is SWEETEST DAY. I have no idea where and how it originated. I also am positive that many people even in the United States have never heard of it. I, on the other hand, have gone to the extent of celebrating it, and even expecting presents on that day. My enthusiasm had always been short-lived when the others did not really appreciate my sentiments about a Hallmark created birthday. I grew to come to terms with it..only until the next Sweetest Day arrived. It has, once again.

Diamond rings, flowers, cookie bouquets, and personalized candygrams are currently being advertised on air for those cheesy romantics like me. I have no money to buy those for myself nor know anyone who would be invested in buying those for me. Frankly, the excitement of receiving those presents would also wear off in a couple days. So on the occasion of Sweetest Day this year, I would like to acknowledge some sweetness that pervaded my life last week.

Last Wednesday, something dreadful happened. Something that I knew was going to happen and yet I was not really that well-prepared for it. No one knew about the pre-planned horrible event save a couple very, very close friends. And as I was driving back from the event at 8 am almost in tears, M, my best friend, who I had not spoken to in 2 weeks, texted me out of the blue asking me how I was. Later that day, another friend, P, took it upon herself to send me a good morning email every single day to brighten my mornings. She has been doing such a good job of it that I actually trot to work happily only to see what she has written for me each day.

Around 3 pm that day, N, asked me to cheer myself up by hanging out with friends. I was reluctant. He pushed. I listened. I hung out with friends, had a great time, and thanked God for the push that he gave me. I thanked him too but he thought nothing of it. As I walked out of work at 5 pm, S, a dear friend of mine, who had last called me to share the news of his engagement two months ago, called me "just to catch up". And last but not the least, I got a very dirty email from someone that very same day but somehow I did not chance upon it until Friday, out of sheer luck.

Last Wednesday was ironically one of the SWEETEST DAYS I have had in a long time. It was full of reaffirmations, signals, and signs that someone up there loves me and cares for me, and is there to protect me, sending across guardian angels when I needed them the most. Friends with who I have built great connections but who have been busy in their daily lives called me as if it was a telepathic connection. Life has not been the same since last Wednesday. I did not expect it to. But neither did I expect to find so much love and warmth around me.

Thank you sweet friends for being there. I now no longer need to wait for a Hallmark created cheesy day to recognize the sweetness around me. I need no diamond rings, for you are my gems.

What's your Sweetest Day story? Are you going to spread some sweetness today and make someone recognize who their guardian angel is?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Some people have lots of friends. And some people few. But most people have friends. Correct?

As a 5-year-old, the entire kindergarten class was my best friend. As a first-grader, the first girl to offer me candy on my first day of school was my best friend. Later on, the girl who sat with me during lunch became my best friend. And then the girl who also talked to me in the auto rickshaw back and fro to school became my best friend. Then as I grew older, the girl who knew about my first crush was my best friend. And later, the girl who comforted me when I found out that my crush already has a girlfriend, became my best friend. In high school, the girl who lent me her notes when I bunked classes became my best friend. In college, the girl who shared the same fashions as me became my best friend. In my Master's degree, the girl who took me home because I was not a localite, and fed me home-cooked food became my best friend. And then in the United States, the girl who offered me rides to school became my best friend...and amongst all these best friends, I had a gym best friend and a work best friend and a class best friend and a phone best friend and many others. And these days people have orkut and facebook and myspace best friends.

I can boast of over 200 friends on Orkut. And I can boast of over a 100 contacts on Yahoo Messenger. But I cannot boast of being in touch with all these people. Hell yeah...I do not even know what some of these people are doing, where they are, whether they are married or not, and if they still remember me. And yet, they are "friends".

I have been realizing over the years that we categorize our friends too.
Today, I have a group of friends that I know will always be ready to go out to eat if I give them a buzz. Another group will always be ready to have me over and play games all night. Yet another group will always be ready to travel with me. And another group will be ready to go to a club or movie with me. And then there is an online group, blogger friends, orkut friends, IM friends.

But how many of these people will be there when I need them? Who is that friend that you can call in the middle of the night when you need to go to the emergency room? Who is that friend who will answer your call even when at work in a meeting when you might be in an accident? Who is that friend who will come help you clean out your apartment and help you pack when you are moving permanently? Who is that friend who will cook dinner for you when you have a broken leg? Who is that friend who will answer your call to hear you wail and yet not get bored?

Who is that one friend?
AND
Are you that one friend to someone?

Post Valentine's Day

Technically, this post should go to the "Warm Fuzzies" blog. However, I felt this is more apt here since I announced my Post-Valentine's Day party on Psychobabble.

This party happened yesterday.

Shopped for decorations, party stuff, food, etc. last afternoon. Had friends clean up the mess in my apartment last evening (for those of you who have visited "Short and Sweet", you all know what a mammoth task that can be) and decorate it with lights, hearts, and what nots!. Had my roommate help me make desserts (Pizookis and Strawberry Jelly in heart shaped aluminium foils). Planned for several interesting games. Gave nicknames to everyone for the night (Mine was FEMME FATALE). And dressed up nice and pink (the dress code was red or pink).

The party was scheduled to begin at 8. Of course, it began at 10.

And then streams of red and pink poured in. Some carried food with them, all carried gifts with them. Some wore smiles, some wore excitement, and some nonchalance. Some demanded food, some demanded games, while some sat demure. And as we ate, the noise level in the apartment rose...in a nice way.

And then we played..for 4 hours non-stop. No one demanded alcohol. No one was drunk. And yet people were able to be goofy. People who never danced in their lives danced like Madhuri on Aaja Nachle. People who never looked at a girl in the eye before had a girl wink at them over and over again. People who do not talk in real life were paired up as partners. People who do not like to play games, played.

The Post-Valentine's Day was truly a success. Not because everyone showed up in red. Not because everyone liked the desserts. Not because everyone played and danced without alcohol. Not because the apartment looked like a child's bedroom, a child who was obsessed with the color red. Not because everyone liked the gifts that they received. But because everyone was together, happy, joyous. Some single, some not. And yet no one was a couple. We were all together. No grudges remembered, no new grudges formed.

The love was truly being shared and spread. A couple days late. But it was a Valentine's Day celebration after all!

Pets or People?

Do you have any pets? I don't.
Do you like pets? I don't. Not yet.
Would you like to have a pet? Maybe. I think so.
What kind of a pet would you like to have? A dog.

I cannot believe, I just said that! A dog? I am afraid of dogs. Puppies, maybe not. Full grown dogs? Definitely. And yet, last night, as I was pondering over certain people that I have encountered in my life, I realized that I was better off having a dog in my life rather than them. I, also for the first time, did not laugh or feel sorry about these so called "lonely Americans who buy Get Well Soon greeting cards for their sick pet".

I have never had a pet but heard many stories, especially of dogs. And as I write this blog, I realize..

• A dog will never not answer your call because he or she is not in the mood, busy with his or her significant other, or has his or her phone on silent.
• A dog will never not answer the door because he or she is asleep, is screening visitors, or still at work.
• A dog will never laugh at you, ask you to "get over it", or get bored of listening to your problems over and over again.
• A dog will never cheat on you, lie to you, or break your trust.
• A dog will never go "bitch" (no pun intended!) about you behind your back.
• A dog will never tell you that you need to lose weight or get your eyebrows done or get a face lift.
• A dog will never hit you, or abuse you.
  
• A dog will never fuss over the food that you have cooked.
• A dog will not change overnight and dump you!
  
• A dog will always feel sad when you are sad and be happy when you are happy.
• A dog will always be loyal to you.
• A dog will always go shopping with you if you wanted him or her to.
• A dog will sleep next to you if you want him or her to, whether or not you have had a fight with him or her.
• A dog will always..............be there for you!

And so, the next time I switch apartments, I am going to rent a pet-friendly one. And buy myself a friend who will always be my friend. Any advice for a first-timer? BTW, I do know that barking dogs seldom bite!

A Happy Day..A Happy Birthday!

People say birthdays are about cakes, presents, and parties. I say partially true! I say birthdays are also about friends and about knowing who really cares. They are also about growing older, and hopefully wiser.

Yesterday, was one of those days for me. The day that comes once a year, and makes me wait all year for it. But yesterday was not an ordinary birthday for me. It was a revealing birthday, quite an introspective one. For the first time in XX years, I did not get a birthday present wrapped in colorful paper, with a cute little bow on it. Neither did I get any flowers that would make my jaw drop with awe and my eyes cry like a beauty contest winner. And yet, I remained unperturbed and experienced no shame in answering people when they asked me what I got for my birthday, much to my surprise.

When people asked me what I was doing or what big plans I had, my answer was "walking around in the malls and shopping". I could sense the disguised disappointment in some voices while some appeared nonchalant, unsuccessfully. And yet, I experienced no embarassment. In fact, I was amused. How could this be for I have always made a huge deal out of my birthdays!?

And then I realized that when I was being materialistic in the past, there was something amiss in my life, or so I thought. I had certain expectations of how a birthday "should" be, and how people around me celebrate their birthdays. In a futile attempt to fill that void, I pledged to have "happening" birthdays and wished for expensive presents that I could display with a smug demeanor. But yesterday, I was content. I was content with what I have in life, and content with what is to follow. Expensive presents, fancy restaurants, or apple-picking and wine-tasting activities would not have added to the joy (as it would have last year, and the year before that, and as far behind as I can remember).

Yesterday, I probably realized that I had grown wiser. I had no need to boast of the red silk top that I bought from New York and Company (which I did not) or the Christmas tree that I decorated (which I did not), or the number of birthday wishes I got on orkut within a couple hours of my birthday starting. I had no need to boast about how I am capable of winning the Miss Popularity contest. I had no need to show anything off to people who dont really care.

I was secure being who I am. I knew that the people who had my phone number and actually bothered to call or text message me, truly cared. I knew that the people who did not have my phone number, and actually bothered to write me an email, truly cared. I knew that my blogger friends, who had no access to any reminders, and sent me birthday messages, truly cared. I knew that I was loved. I knew then that my birthday was an eye-opener.

What's your number??

About ten years ago, with internet gaining quick popularity in India, people used to boast about the number of active email accounts they had and the variety of chat ids they had on ICQ and what not!

Today, its all about Orkut! Gone are the days when people would make special trips to a studio to have a professional picture taken. With the advent of digital cameras, studio like pictures are only a click away. People click pictures and say, "Yes!! This is an Orkut picture" implying that this picture is worth showing everyone. That's not enough! People specifically click pictures to put up on Orkut. This being the norm, I suppose this fact does not seem ridiculous at this point.

How about fan numbers and friend numbers?? I know that there are some people who are fond of talking about the number of fans and friends they have on Orkut, secretly compete with their rivals in gaining more of these, and even become someone's fan just so that they will return their favor and increase their numbers!! And when the person does not reciprocate, they gather the courage to ask, "When will you become my fan?"Some even have their own fan list memorized and know exactly when someone adds themselves to their list or God forbid, decides to "unfan" themselves. That amazes me! Is that a norm? Or am I outdated?

And hey, what's your number? Yes, I mean your fan number and friend number? Really? How authentic is that number? How many are truly your fans and friends and not people who are seeking to increase their number or have the strong need to be liked by you? How many of these fans and friends can you count on in your times of need? Which fan and friend of yours are you able to call in the middle of the night to ask for help?

My fan number is 45 today and friend number is 245. Maybe, when this blog is published, it may dwindle to 25 out of 200 or something. And that's ok.

PS: Am about to make a list of all my fans this minute. So if you decide to unfan yourself, I will know. Hope that's ok too! :)

Soulmates for life....NOT!

*Note: The events in this blog are true but the names are fictitious so that the non-soulmates are not offended for not having included them as soulmates..read on for more clarification.

Amisha invited me over to her house to play for a whole day. She shared her lunch with me everyday. And she lent me her textbook when I forgot to bring it to school. She was my soulmate in the 1st grade before I changed schools. I met her only once after that...when I was about 13 years old and we barely talked to each other then.

Anjana called me everyday to chitchat over the phone. She invited me over for lunch during the summer break. She wrote me letters for a year when she moved to another city. She was my soulmate in the 4th grade. I have met her several times after that. But I do not even know the names of her children today.

Shilpa knew about the first crush I had. I was the only one who was invited to her sister's birthday party. I slept over at her house for one night during navratri. And then we both ended up liking the same guy. She was no longer my soulmate. We picked new ones.

Manisha's mother called me their second daughter. I practically lived there two days a week during the summer. We wrote letters to each other everyday when she went to her grandmother's house for vacations for a month. And then we switched streams. She went into the arts and I chose the sciences. She was my soulmate in the 10th grade.

Ashima did not have a phone at home. We both yearned to meet each other everyday in college because that was the only time we could talk, gossip, confide, and bitch. We often stayed back for hours after classes so that no one would interfere in our "private conversations". The other 4 members of our group were jealous. But we could care less. We were soulmates for 3 whole years until we went to different cities for our Master's degree.

Samrat was a friend that I could call any time of the day and always know that he would be available. I have cried about the same issues over and over again without him flinching even one bit at any given moment. We never proclaimed each other as "best friends" but we still knew that we were soulmates. Yes, we were. Until Samrat moved back to India. Now we speak to each other about 4 times a year.

Today, I have met another soulmate, a best friend. Another angel that God has sent over to help me through a phase of my life. What his purpose is is being revealed gradually, as it always does. As children, best friends were our lifelines. Everything surrounded around friends. At any given point, it seems like our best friend is the best thing that happened to us. That we finally found our soulmate!! Until an event occurs, our so-called soulmate's purpose in our life is fulfilled and he or she leaves only to give way to another soulmate standing in line.

Soulmates for life?? Maybe through wedlock. Through friendship? Maybe in movies, novels, rare occasions. Are you reading this and saying, "HAH! Not me! My friends will be my friends forever!". Will not challenge you. Only urge you to read this blog again ten years from now. You will know what I am talking about today.

Thanks, and dont regret a lost friendship. It was something that began and ended for a reason. More friends (or should I say soulmates to make you feel special?) await you.

Age no bar!

Easy to say that I befriend all..age no bar, caste no bar, gender no bar!
Difficult to implement...!

Have you noticed teens, preteens, and young children playing in the playground. Rarely, have I seen teens accepting preteens in their rowdy soccer manhandling, and preteens accepting young children in their "investigative" adventures. Young children on the other hand are more accepting, more open. As we grow older, we lose these attributes. Sad but true.

Notice how young adults in their early 20's like to address over-the-hill adults in their 30's as "aunty" or "uncle" or worse still, "grandma", just because they are just a few years older? Notice how they address teenagers as "kids" because they are a few years younger? Notice how young adults in their 20's do not lose some of their late teenage traits of being obstinate and "I am old enough to make my own decisions" attitude and yet continue to prove themselves wrong with their faulty assumptions about the world and life in general? Notice how people in their 30's will smirk and say, "Been there done that!" and choose to snicker in silence. Notice how they look at those in their 40's and say, "There is no way I am going to act old like them!"

Notice how teenagers will want to play video games and watch porn in their free time, while young adults in their 20's will like to get together and go bowling or to the dance club, while those in their 30's will prefer to have dinner parties and watch movies..it gets more and more subtle each decade. So I cannot fathom how there is an "AGE NO BAR-I am very open-minded" attitude when in reality to find a common point will not only be difficult to find but also frustrating every single time.

May I point out that there are exceptions to every age group as well. I know of people in their early 20's with the wisdom of someone much older and yet possess the innocense and naivety of a young adult. At the same time, their very own "best friends" perhaps look 30 but talk like they are 13, full of the arrogant air that accompanies good looking teenagers in their puberty age with the ambition to rule the world. No problem with that..except they want to be dictators. And then I see people in their 30's with similar issues as well. And some who truly do act like "grandmas" and hence, the rest of the clan get the privilege to be teased that way.

This blog stems from some exhaustion from witnessing the immature attitudes that the "young ones" portray each day, the relief that I have long outgrown that phase, and the fear that arises from witnessing those older to me with a more serious attitude. I like who I am today. I want to be with people my age who act the way I do! That does not mean I did not like who I was ten years ago. And may in all likelihood like who I am at 45. I can only pray and hope that I say the same ten years from now!