My First Love..

My last post may have sounded very realistic but to tell you the truth, I am quite romantic at heart. As a child, merely ten, I was swayed by romantic movies, and dreamed that I would be part of a similar love story one day. I would play soft music, and roll on the bed, with my dupatta flying all over the place, pretending that I was in love. Everyday, after I got back from school, I would practice feeling shy in front of the mirror. I would fling my hair like I was starring in a Halo Shampoo commercial and position the fan on my face so that I would look like a model. All this when my mom was busy.

I have even fantasized being a martyr, the sacrificing mother who goes hungry only to feed her children and see to it they are healthy. With my little babies, I travelled through murky waters during the floods, and even had a huge towel stuffed under my skirt to dramatize the effect. What can be more painful than to see a pregnant young mother dragging her babies in a boat in knee deep water?

All this was imaginary. Until I experienced the real deal. I fell in love. With a real man.

I truly lost my sleep at night, I swear. I was unable to concentrate on my homework. And I no longer had to act like I was in love when I lay down on my bed. It came naturally; the blushes, the shyness, the rolling on the bed, everything. Every song that I listened to reminded me of him. Aaah..I was in love.

I envisioned getting married to him, and that soon became a recurrent dream. I hunted for his phone number and even asked around. And when I finally did get it, I did nothing with it. Everytime I picked up the phone to call him, my fingers trembled, my heart fluttered, and I was tongue-tied. And then the martyr that I was, I decided that loving him was enough and that I did not want him to know how much I loved him.

One dreadful day, my friend called me and told me that he was married. I was dumbstruck and refused to believe her. However, many other sources told me that this fact was true. I was truly heartbroken. But I was not angry at him. It was not his fault, I told myself. If only he had met me earlier, he would have married me. Needless to say, I hated his wife, without knowing anything about her.

This is the story of my first love, my one-sided love, my encounter with Aamir Khan. I still love him today (I SWEAR!). When he decided to marry Kiran Rao on the 28th of December, 2005, I was heartbroken once again. Especially since I was in Mumbai on that day, and it was only 2 days after my birthday. And I told myself once again, "if only he had met me earlier....."

Oh well!! Today is a special day. Its my first love's birthday! So let's come together and wish him many many happy returns of the day.

MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Love you Aamir.

P.S: Comments with kisses to Aamir Khan will not be published. I am very possessive.

Love Actually...

When will I fall in love?
When will I find true love?
When will I find my Prince Charming?
Will anyone love me?

Wondering what happened to Solitaire all of a sudden? Nothing really. These are just some of the questions that a million posts ask of the readers. All these posts look similar. They talk of rosy, romantic dreams. They reminisce about old times with a first crush, the first kiss, their first flowers, their first compliments, and all that a first-timer thinks about.

Sadly, when we are blooming in our youth, we mistakenly equate romance with love. Romance can come with love. Love can come with romance. But do the two always go together? Not necessarily! I find that many of us dream about "true love" and then wonder when we will find someone to go out with on Valentine's Day, exchanging butterfly kisses and whispering sweet nothings on the backseat of a car, gazing at the starry skies. Some of us go from one relationship to another waiting for those butterflies in the stomach, the loss of appetite, the fixed gaze into space, and flushed cheeks as a sign of having fallen in love. And then some of us, wait for a guy to "propose" down on one knee, flowers in one hand, and a cheesy poem on their lips.

I wonder if in waiting for these signs that SRK (ugggggggggggh!) so fondly portrays as the epitome of love, we are very blindly ignoring the real signs of "true love". The comfort that we experience, the companionship that we share, the unknowing smiles that we flash, and the feeling of being at ease with the other person WITHOUT the loss of appetite and lack of sleep may not necessarily be romantic or make you feel like Bhagyashree in MPK or Salman Khan in HAHK but it may very well be that you have found your companion for life.

You may be fortunate enough to have a candlelit dinner waiting for you the day you complain about having a hard day at work. BONUS! But do not pooh pooh the warm hug or the concerned, "hope you are doing well" from your mate.

The roses that the flowerman delivers look beautiful for a couple days.
The look in his eye when he/she says, "I love you and will always be here for you" will keep you secure forever.
Romance is great. Love is even greater.

Unbreak My Heart

February 14th is only 8 days away.

Precisely, Valentine's Day is 8 days away.

And some of us squirm in our seats each time someone asks us "What are your plans for Valentine's Day?". We tend to scream silently when a committed, engaged or married friend asks us the same question, knowing very well that we are single, perhaps heartbroken, and somewhat lonely. Maybe they do that so that we can ask them what their plans are in return. And then maybe out of courtesy, we indeed do that, trying to switch the focus of the conversation onto them. Result: We painstakingly feign interest and enthusiasm when they blurt out details of their spa reservation, candle light dinner at home, and the surprise bubble bath that they have planned.

What we, them, and the media fail to emphasize is that Valentine's Day is indeed about love, but not necessarily about romantic love. Its not all about expensive presents, fancy chocolates, teddy bears, and huge red hearts floating around. The day is about spreading love and joy, may it be with a partner, parent, sibling, best friend, roommate, or coworker.

Remember how cheesy Madhuri Dixit looked buying gifts for herself in "Dil To Pagal Hai" on Valentine's Day? She did that for herself because she loves herself. I know for a fact that we all have someone that we love and who loves us back in return. So whether you are partnered or not, think about those loved ones this Valentine's Day.

You are not lonely. You are not heartbroken. You have someone you can plan a Valentine's Day for. You do not have to wait for Mother's Day, Father's Day or Friendship Day. You do not need an excuse. Go ahead and walk around the stores with larger than life hearts hanging there. You don't have to be love struck to do that. As for me, I am going to throw a party next week and spend a wonderful evening with people I call friends!

User Manual on Cheating

Are you cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Then you surely need a user manual to do so, for research says that the truth always comes out! Also, there are some "poor" cheaters out there who always get caught sooner than the mean. So if you want to improve your skills, here is a user manual for you. There is no guarantee that your partner won't find out but he/she will find out later than the average population does.

1. Always delete your text msgs to your lover-inbox/sent/trash...all folders.
2. The same applies to your emails.
3. Make sure that you "do stuff" discretely, not in public.
4. Make sure you dont absolutely have this need to "have a girls night out" or "hang out with the guys" every single night.
5. Make sure that you have a different telephone line to talk to your lover and that you always answer your partner's phone calls.
6. Make sure you get rid of all receipts of the flowers you sent or the movies you saw together.
7. Make sure that you dont bring back the scent of his/her perfume on your clothes when you return home.
8. Make sure you dont talk in your sleep at night and blurt out what you are dreaming about.

Ok..you perhaps get the hang of it..be absolutely careful!

However, this manual is not complete without the next set of tips. Last but not the least:

9. Make sure that your heart is made of steel because you will lose the one who is oblivious about your deeds and continues to be loyal to you.
10. Be prepared for your lover to leave you for someone else, just like you left your partner for him/her.
11. Be prepared to live a life filled with guilt, and hopefully some remorse.
12. Be prepared for people to point fingers at you.
13. Be prepared to lose some of your friends who will disapprove of what you did.
14. Be prepared to live a lonely life full of insecurities.
15. Be prepared to be cheated on for what goes around comes around.

Hope this user manual is helpful to those out there who think variety is the spice of life. Maybe it is, but there will be a price to pay for it. Willing to do so..go for it!! My advice for the victims (their partners)..hang in there!! Everything happens for a reason!

Thanks, and stay loyal.

The Wonder Years

65+=seniors...wonder years? Hardly...from the eyes of the young ones. What does old adulthood bring with itself? Poor physical health, disabilities, cognitive decline, retirement, empty nests, loneliness, loss of spouses and friends, and a nearing of death. Along with these grim realities, old adults also face a change in socialization, possess more wisdom that is assumed to be correlated with aging, and may be able to engage in leisure activities that they never had the time for in the past.

Coupling...can you imagine these older adults trying to find a "romantic" partner during this age? But many of them do. They do not actively set out on a search but with spouses gone, children on a quest for an independent life, and employment as a part of history, these adults need to find another meaning to life, someone to live for, someone to live with, someone to die beside.

I recently saw "Life in a Metro" where a couple reunites after 4o years and engage in physical intimacy. I heard some groans, some moans, and some exclamations of surprise amongst the audience. Some people vehemently protested the act and exclaimed that this was something not acceptable..the physical act as well as the emotional bonding. Not acceptable? Why? Don't these adults have emotions? Dont they want companionship? Dont they need to feel loved? Some people in the audience yelled, "Oh so cute. This is so sweet". Sweet? Are you sure? Would you "allow" your parent to do the same if the situation arose? Or is it sweet because you want to appear openminded?

Can you know how your life will be when you are 65? You can dream about it, hypothesize about it, and try to work towards that path. But can you know for sure? Likewise, you dont really know what those people are going through. So why pass judgments on who should do what and what is not acceptable when you are not at that stage and not in that situation? Let's just let people live their lives according to their realities and let's focus on creating our own.

Thanks and stay young..in spirit!