What's Love Got To Do With It?

Picture this.

1. You get a call from your colleague. The one you sit next to all day and exchange a few pleasantries with every morning. He wants to go out with you...yet again. You call your girlfriend and say, "Honey. I have to go out with a friend. Will call you when I get back." She says ok, with a dejected voice and awaits your phone call all night. You come back from a guys' night out, tired and drunk and fall asleep. She sleeps with the phone next to her pillow.

2. Your friends invite themselves over for your birthday. Panicky, you ask your mother to cook up some nice grub. She does. She slogs in the kitchen for two hours so that your birthday party is a success. When your friends come over, you take them to your room, have a gala time, hoping that your mother does not disturb you. When she does come to interact, you say, "MAaaaaaaaaaa" in an embarrassed fashion. She excuses herself and you get the entire evening to yourself and your friends.

As far as I know, all those who read me, have loved ones. Some love their partner to death, some their parents, and some can devote an entire lifetime to a friend. And yet, we sometimes choose to be nice to those who do not really matter and shun those we profess to be most important to us.

Why is having an old grandmother who cannot speak English embarrassing? Why is dejecting a partner okay to do but not okay to say no to a colleague, neighbor, or casual friend? Why do we take for granted those who have been there for us but seek out the attention of those who never have and probably never will? Do we like challenges or does familiarity breed contempt? Are our priorities messed up or do we like being in control?

There are many souls out there who are loveless in life. So please. Cherish those who have chosen to love you and you have chosen to love back. Your colleague may not be in your life 10 years from now but your loved one most likely will be. Remember, just because someone loves you, it does not mean that you can treat them anyway you want.

My First Love..

My last post may have sounded very realistic but to tell you the truth, I am quite romantic at heart. As a child, merely ten, I was swayed by romantic movies, and dreamed that I would be part of a similar love story one day. I would play soft music, and roll on the bed, with my dupatta flying all over the place, pretending that I was in love. Everyday, after I got back from school, I would practice feeling shy in front of the mirror. I would fling my hair like I was starring in a Halo Shampoo commercial and position the fan on my face so that I would look like a model. All this when my mom was busy.

I have even fantasized being a martyr, the sacrificing mother who goes hungry only to feed her children and see to it they are healthy. With my little babies, I travelled through murky waters during the floods, and even had a huge towel stuffed under my skirt to dramatize the effect. What can be more painful than to see a pregnant young mother dragging her babies in a boat in knee deep water?

All this was imaginary. Until I experienced the real deal. I fell in love. With a real man.

I truly lost my sleep at night, I swear. I was unable to concentrate on my homework. And I no longer had to act like I was in love when I lay down on my bed. It came naturally; the blushes, the shyness, the rolling on the bed, everything. Every song that I listened to reminded me of him. Aaah..I was in love.

I envisioned getting married to him, and that soon became a recurrent dream. I hunted for his phone number and even asked around. And when I finally did get it, I did nothing with it. Everytime I picked up the phone to call him, my fingers trembled, my heart fluttered, and I was tongue-tied. And then the martyr that I was, I decided that loving him was enough and that I did not want him to know how much I loved him.

One dreadful day, my friend called me and told me that he was married. I was dumbstruck and refused to believe her. However, many other sources told me that this fact was true. I was truly heartbroken. But I was not angry at him. It was not his fault, I told myself. If only he had met me earlier, he would have married me. Needless to say, I hated his wife, without knowing anything about her.

This is the story of my first love, my one-sided love, my encounter with Aamir Khan. I still love him today (I SWEAR!). When he decided to marry Kiran Rao on the 28th of December, 2005, I was heartbroken once again. Especially since I was in Mumbai on that day, and it was only 2 days after my birthday. And I told myself once again, "if only he had met me earlier....."

Oh well!! Today is a special day. Its my first love's birthday! So let's come together and wish him many many happy returns of the day.

MWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Love you Aamir.

P.S: Comments with kisses to Aamir Khan will not be published. I am very possessive.

Love Actually...

When will I fall in love?
When will I find true love?
When will I find my Prince Charming?
Will anyone love me?

Wondering what happened to Solitaire all of a sudden? Nothing really. These are just some of the questions that a million posts ask of the readers. All these posts look similar. They talk of rosy, romantic dreams. They reminisce about old times with a first crush, the first kiss, their first flowers, their first compliments, and all that a first-timer thinks about.

Sadly, when we are blooming in our youth, we mistakenly equate romance with love. Romance can come with love. Love can come with romance. But do the two always go together? Not necessarily! I find that many of us dream about "true love" and then wonder when we will find someone to go out with on Valentine's Day, exchanging butterfly kisses and whispering sweet nothings on the backseat of a car, gazing at the starry skies. Some of us go from one relationship to another waiting for those butterflies in the stomach, the loss of appetite, the fixed gaze into space, and flushed cheeks as a sign of having fallen in love. And then some of us, wait for a guy to "propose" down on one knee, flowers in one hand, and a cheesy poem on their lips.

I wonder if in waiting for these signs that SRK (ugggggggggggh!) so fondly portrays as the epitome of love, we are very blindly ignoring the real signs of "true love". The comfort that we experience, the companionship that we share, the unknowing smiles that we flash, and the feeling of being at ease with the other person WITHOUT the loss of appetite and lack of sleep may not necessarily be romantic or make you feel like Bhagyashree in MPK or Salman Khan in HAHK but it may very well be that you have found your companion for life.

You may be fortunate enough to have a candlelit dinner waiting for you the day you complain about having a hard day at work. BONUS! But do not pooh pooh the warm hug or the concerned, "hope you are doing well" from your mate.

The roses that the flowerman delivers look beautiful for a couple days.
The look in his eye when he/she says, "I love you and will always be here for you" will keep you secure forever.
Romance is great. Love is even greater.