Thursday, November 1, 2007

Bitter Sweet Doses

Have you met someone who is genuinely content and happy with their lives or present state of mind? I am sure you have. I have met several of them and wish to meet more. As I write this blog, a picture of my friend comes to mind. She is one who I have never heard complaining, whining, crying, or getting angry. She is content with what she has. She does not have any expectations from anyone and so when something marvelous occurs in her life, she is elated. And if something marvelous did not occur, or worse still, if she encounters a disaster, she takes it in her stride for she has no other scenario to compare it with. And most importantly, I have NEVER heard her put anyone down. In her viewpoint, everyone is great, some with a few more bad qualities, some with a few less but nevertheless, everyone is worth respecting no matter how they behave.

And then I have another friend who is extremely critical of what others do; constantly looking for flaws in her life, jealous of others' successes, intolerant of others' being imperfect, easy to flare up when things seem out of control, and someone who people like to avoid for fear that they are being analyzed and ripped apart in her mind. Any guesses why she chooses to be this personality when she is clearly not like by others? Heard the phrase, "misery loves company"? She is unhappy with her life and has low self-esteem. What better way to make oneself feel elated and superior to others than to put them down?

When people make baseless accusations, criticize you for a reason you cannot fathom, and create bitter chaos, it is easy for you to retaliate in self-defense. After all who likes to be called ugly, selfish, stupid, worthless and so on without any clear explanations? But also pay attention to how lonely these poor souls are, how isolated they feel when they perceive others around them to be having more fun than themselves, and how bad they feel about themselves. Maybe retaliation will keep them from criticizing you but their low self-respect will force them into putting more victims down for a sense of deluded power.

I believe my former friend is so happy with her life, that she never feels the need to eye someone else's greener grass, while the latter feels insecure about her grapes being sour. These are the bitter sweet chocolates that we will get to eat all our lives. Some dark bites sweetened by the sugary aftertaste. When the extra dark chocolates seem to create a bitter taste in your mouth that makes you nauseous, go ahead and ignore the dark chocolate, and find some sugar for yourself!

Thanks, and try and be content. Will make others around you feel the same too!

4 Words of Wisdom:

Sparta said...

your analogy of life with dark chocolates is interesting... worth to ponder upon it..
its all in state of mind.. we try to find contentment through others forgetting its within us..
nice blog to read.. keep it up.

Sparta said...

I found this quote and ur blog came to my mind :)

“If I am walking with two other men, each of them I will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.”
Confucius quotes

Neehar said...

I have found myself in similar situations that you have described in this blog. I am quite composed by nature but when I am being overly or unjustly critisized, it is very hard to be unperturbed from within. I can show that I am unaffected by your bitter words but as you said the first reaction is "What the hell, I am not gonna take crap from this person etc". I think it requires lot of self awareness about yourself in such situations to remain genuinely unperturbed.

Cosmic Joy said...

I have often wondered if it is our minds or our hearts that controls our feelings and expressions .. never did find an answer.