Happy Birthday Mommy !

No it is not my mother's birthday today, and not in the next 6 months either. This blog has been born out of the question that people have been asking me very recently, "What plans for your birthday?"

Honestly, I usually make a big deal out of my birthday. I always have something planned out (at the expense of others) and await that morning with great eagerness, my materialistic spirit very evident in my gawking eyes, hunting for wrapped presents. This year, I have nothing planned. Maybe its my graying brain cells or the dwindling bank account. And I have no morose about it. However, my heart ached when my mom (hundreds of miles away) told me on yahoo messenger, "I will call you on your birthday."

And then I began thinking about how selfish I have been all these years. As I have counted the number of days to December 26 each year, making demands to my mom for presents, of things I wanted to eat that day, and making her pay for my parties, I never once thought about how she must have felt on that day so many years ago. The day her first child was born. It must truly have been a joyous moment, a wonderful experience, taking her first step into motherhood holding a 5 lb 6 oz baby in her arms. I have often heard people say that the happiest moment of their lives has been the time their babies were born. Surely then, December 26th must then have been the happiest day in my mother's life.

So this year, I will send my mother a present for my birthday. This year, I will celebrate her joy. This year, I will thank her for bringing me into this world.

The Working Woman

We have all heard or known of so many men who have rushed to India during a 4 week (often only a week) break to "see" the lovely maidens that their over eager parents have lined up for them. They pick one and voila! A few days later, they are married and have a "dependent" tagging along with them to the USA.

Some of these women had longed to be in the USA and thought that their only route would be through marriage while some had always wanted to pursue education here but never had the means to. Some of the former women hence are content with staying at home and being a "homemaker", a fancy word replacement for the word "housewife", used more frequently in India.

Before, I continue, would like to make it clear that I have nothing against housewives. We all should be happy doing what we do and if that's what makes them happy so be it. However, I am a little confused here. I often hear from wives (not yet mothers) on H4 visas that they are awfully busy and have absolutely no time to do extra stuff..stuff as in catch up with old friends, attend events such as those held by CRY, and get an oil change on the car (if their new husband decided to buy them one). I wonder, what are they so busy with? Cooking three meals a day would probably take up three hours, I am sure there is not a whole lot of laundry, vaccuming, and bathroom cleaning to be done everyday. Groceries are probably done when the husband is at home (since that car that I am talking about is not there OR the wife is scared to drive alone in the snow). So if we as full-time students and employees study, work, and take care of the home, and write blogs, and IM, and stay in touch with friends, how are we able to do that?

Is there something I do not know about or am missing out on or am I the exception who is super smart in managing my time well? What is truly going on? I often wish that I was an H4 wife. I fantasize waking up at at 7, making tea for my husband, going back to sleep, waking up at 10, cooking lunch, watching TV, playing games on the computer, cooking "nashta", taking a nap, cooking dinner, going out, and sleeping! What a life that would be! But as I have always said, the grass is always greener on the other side. Maybe that life is not as fun and leisurely as I assume it to be. Maybe what these wives say is true??

A whole new world!

When we were born, we curled up our toes, made cute little fists, and cried our hearts out. We were vulnerable. We felt insecure. We were no longer in the warmth of our mother's womb. We were born into a whole new world. When our mother held us, we sensed comfort again. It was familiar. Her familiar touch.

Today as adults, we are no different. When we come home from work, school, or wherever, we curl into our blankets and turn our laptops on. We feel insecure in the loneliness of our small apartments. It is not a whole new world and yet a sense of something amiss. And then, with the touch of a button, we walk into our safe world. We talk to friends online, some who we have never met, some who live across the street and yet greet us only on the messenger, and some who truly live far away. We build new connections, we try and revive old connections, and we take some connections for granted.

The internet has introduced to us a whole new virtual world. In this world, we write, we cry, we smile, we buzz, we fake expressions, we swear, and we make funny sounds. Ironical that we feel safe in the company of those we have never met, that we form illusions about these people, and we think about these virtual people even when walking in the real world.

There are more and more people walking into this whole new world each day leaving behind the real world that is out there..at least for a few hours. What is missing in the real world that we find the virtual world more interesting? Is the unknown more attractive or does facing people threaten us?

If we can get so addicted to this new world, are we capable of being addicted to the real world and living life to the fullest? What is your opinion, my unattached online friends?

What's your number??

About ten years ago, with internet gaining quick popularity in India, people used to boast about the number of active email accounts they had and the variety of chat ids they had on ICQ and what not!

Today, its all about Orkut! Gone are the days when people would make special trips to a studio to have a professional picture taken. With the advent of digital cameras, studio like pictures are only a click away. People click pictures and say, "Yes!! This is an Orkut picture" implying that this picture is worth showing everyone. That's not enough! People specifically click pictures to put up on Orkut. This being the norm, I suppose this fact does not seem ridiculous at this point.

How about fan numbers and friend numbers?? I know that there are some people who are fond of talking about the number of fans and friends they have on Orkut, secretly compete with their rivals in gaining more of these, and even become someone's fan just so that they will return their favor and increase their numbers!! And when the person does not reciprocate, they gather the courage to ask, "When will you become my fan?"Some even have their own fan list memorized and know exactly when someone adds themselves to their list or God forbid, decides to "unfan" themselves. That amazes me! Is that a norm? Or am I outdated?

And hey, what's your number? Yes, I mean your fan number and friend number? Really? How authentic is that number? How many are truly your fans and friends and not people who are seeking to increase their number or have the strong need to be liked by you? How many of these fans and friends can you count on in your times of need? Which fan and friend of yours are you able to call in the middle of the night to ask for help?

My fan number is 45 today and friend number is 245. Maybe, when this blog is published, it may dwindle to 25 out of 200 or something. And that's ok.

PS: Am about to make a list of all my fans this minute. So if you decide to unfan yourself, I will know. Hope that's ok too! :)

My word for your word.

wuo hern ni

Do you know what those words mean?

They mean something in a particular language. Try and say them out loud. Are you afraid you might pronounce them wrong? But who's listening?

What emotion would you experience if someone came and said these to you? Confusion, bewilderment, excitement, hatred? Would you think about it for days or would you let it go? Would you ploy revenge or would you smile to yourself?

I hate you

Do you know now know what those words mean?

What would you do if someone came and said these words to you? Would you experience anger, frustration, sadness, hurt, disappointment, or amusement? How long would these words stick in your mind? What will you do about that?

Words. A mere jumble of letters. They may look funny. May be difficult to pronounce. And may not mean anything. To US. But they could change someone else's life, their mental state. Just three words can alter a person's self-esteem and peace of mind.

Words. They so easily slip out of our mouths. And yet, can be so profound to the listener.

Words. They can change someone's life.

Words. So precious. Use them wisely.