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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Love marriage or arranged marriage?

You must have seen/heard numerous articles, debates, conversations, discussions, arguments, etc. on this topic listing the pros and cons of one over the other, and proving one better than the other.

That is precisely what I am not going to do here. What I intend to do here is to rat out those people who engage in these conversations. What is the need to prove one better over the other. Is it not a matter of personal choice? Do we have long discussions about how hockey is better than water polo or how beaches are better vacation spots than hill stations?

When any of my friends get engaged, the first question they get asked is "Love or arranged"?! How about asking "Are you happy?", "When do we hear wedding bells?", "Where did you meet?" or something of that nature. And if the response is "arranged", the counter response is rather dry and sometimes there might be no response at all. And if the response is "love", the questions to follow seem more like an interrogation conducted by an FBI agent rather than friendly, polite curiosity. The potential brides and grooms are also partially to be blamed. It often feels like they experience some guilt, shame, or embarassment about not having a love marriage and end up saying things like, "It is a love cum arranged marriage" or "It is arranged but it hardly seems that way now". Well I sure hope it hardly seems that way now!! For I surely expect you to love each other at some point in your life if you promise to be life partners!!

My point is..HOW DOES IT MATTER HOW ONE MET?! A marriage is a marriage. A vow of commitment, faithfulness, companionship, and partnership. Agreed there are some differences but ultimately the hope is that the relationship stays intact with the bond of trust and love. Some develop it before they get married and some after. Some get to explore their partners before they commit to getting married, and some embark on the adventure after.

The destination is the same. The route may be different. The departure may be different. The transit may be different. The travel agent may be different. But if you reach the same coveted destination at some point, that's all that I care about!!!

Thanks, and stay married no matter how you met!!

3 Words of Wisdom:

Sulz said...

hahah .. gujjuben ... were true ... i absolutely concur ... i would not blame anyone cos ppl crave juicy details ... love marriage has that " awww .. thats so cute ... awww he did that for u ??" response which everyone, the fairytale ...[esp. girls] want .. i am not shooting this out of the blue but i KNOW its for a fact firsthand ...
true that the destination is one ... and i hope everyone just gets a one way ticket to that place !

Neel said...

No way!! your friend got engaged? well.... LOVE OR ARRANGED? :p LOL

If (LOVE Marriage)
{
Awwww!! So Cute!!
}

Else
{
\\silence!!
}

:D

Dawn said...

Nice theory. I am trying to comprehend it further to generalize it. What happens to the case when it is just one sided love (in or out marriage)?