Trivia + Tagged

Anyone wanna answer a trivia question? Go here (if you have been invited).


Tagged to do God Knows What...(Some love link apparently where I see no signs of love at all!)

Copy paste the link below in your post and add your name and pass it along..(What is the purpose of this? I have no idea and everyone refuses to tell me like its a mafia code or something!!)

BennyLiew, RamblingMoo, Mum & Kids In Wonderland, Judelittle, Our mini blogsphere, Rooms in My Heart, http://janiceng.blogspot.com/, ChinNee, Jo-N, LadyJava's Lounge, Strange but True, Mariuca's Perfume Gallery,Meet Uncle J-Uncle J, Farah,aNgRiAniWoRLd,How’s Life Bout,The Three Heroes, Ceedy, Veena (the girl who tagged me!), Solitaire, (You here)...

Here are the next ten victims of "love"...

Satish Bolla
Nirmal
AmitL,
Karthik S
Iceman
Soham Shah
Crimson Feet
Brocasarea
Badshah Khan
Sutta

Go figure!

Short and Sweet

Hey all,

Psychobabble is resting a bit but Short and Sweet is still up for those who want a quick smile, less debate, and some fun!

Check out today's post. There might just be a compliment from someone for you. Spread the joy!

-Solitaire

No Ordinary Friday

Thank God It's Friday. I have lots to catch up on. I have to focus on classes that I missed recently, go to a semi-formal (prom) this evening, and decide on what sari to wear for the International Friendship Affair at school. I also have to do four loads of laundry, some cleaning and tidying around in a pig-sty looking apartment, go grocery shopping, and amidst all this, find time to relax.

Sounds like a usual story, doesn't it? Especially to those folks who do not have any domestic help and work five days a week spending their Monday to Thursdays waiting for a Friday. But today is no ordinary Friday.

Today is the day that I had been hoping would never come. But it has alright! Its the second half of April, the second week into my final quarter, and time seems to be flying by. It seems to me that in the past four of five months, I have lived my life more as Solitaire than who I am since I was born. I have made friends on blogosphere, met many interesting people virtually, read many creative blogs, and built my own little sweet world that I loved to bask in. Amidst all this, I forgot that in my non-virtual world, I have a dissertation pending, a degree to focus on, and a lot of hard work to put in.

I was so reinforced by the love and appreciation that you all gave me that I ignored the threats that my advisor gave me. It hurts me to say this but I still have to...

I have to go.....

I told you. It is no ordinary Friday. Its a sad Friday for me and Psychobabble. I have loved all of you, all you precious people who left your valuable words in the little comment box, all you silent readers who have returned time and again to see what I have to offer. Psychobabble is now taking a short break from blogosphere for I have to put other things up my priority list.

I promise you. I will be back. How soon, I cannot say. But no later than July of this year. Will you guys promise to remember me? Will you guys leave a light on for me? Will you guys take care of yourselves? Will you guys stick around? Will you guys welcome me when I am back?

Hugs and Kisses!

Friday Angels

You and I. We discussed how we categorize our friends in this post. But did we talk about uncategorized friends at all? Friends who are just there....friends who may or may not come out for sushi.....friends who we do not know will come watch a movie....friends who we think about often but hardly talk to....friends who are friends.

I had a couple friends that I had categorized as "Friday night movie/dinner friends." And it was on a Friday, I found out that they were more than that. Friday of last week was a BAD FRIDAY. It was the day my symptoms of a "severe kidney infection" displayed themselves. I have often wondered who would care if I did not come home for two days but never answered the passing thought. On Friday, I found out.

Friday morning, I called S and told him to come pick me up from school. He came promptly no questions asked. On my way home, I told him about my condition, how unwell I was, and blah blah. At home, N and S discussed my condition, made quick plans of what they should feed me, and attended to me, all without being asked to. Ok..that is for humanity's sake, I suppose.

I think the cause of humanity was carried too far. One of them stayed by my side constantly. They checked my temperature at regular intervals. They gave me medication per schedule. They even bribed me with bourbon biscuits when I threw tantrums. And they constantly reassured me that I would be fit and fine the next morning.

They were wrong. I had to be taken to the hospital the next morning. Any guesses who took me? Any guesses who stayed there the entire time? Any guesses who ate only cookies and cereal bars in the hospital so that they don't leave me alone when they go out to grab something to eat? Any guesses who ran to the pharmacy for more medication? Any guesses who went and bought edible food for me? Any guesses who took complete care of me? S and N.

Oh wait! Do you think this is shortlived? 5th day in a row and still going strong. Same treatment. Same concern. Same care. Yes...humanitarian attitude carried too far. This is an angelic attitude.
And angels cannot be categorized. They can only be thanked for coming into your life and being there when you needed them the most. In a world where coochie cooing on the phone with a boyfriend, watching FRIENDS on TV, going to the gym, and cooking a lavish meal is more important than dropping a quick phone call to ask a friend how she is feeling, such angels are far, few, and rare.

On Friday I found out that I had angels in my life. Bad Friday was not that bad actually.

Precious Life

Fever. Ibuprofen. Cold chills. Nausea. Pain. Weakness. Skin irritation.

Clinic. Waiting room. Doctor. Thermometer. Temperature. Blood pressure. Urine test.

Shock. Concern. Panic. Instructions. Warning. Caution. Kidney infection. Prescription. Pharmacy. Tears.

Sleep. More fever. More pain. More chills. Headache. Guests. Liquid diet. Night. Nightmares.

Morning again. Worse condition. Emergency room. Nurses Admission. Doctors. IV. Saline. Morphin. Antibiotics. Blood test. Nurses. Doctors. 8 hours. Discharge.

Evening. Fever. Pain. Weakness. Guests. Flowers. Fruits. Night. Sleep.

Morning again. Nausea. Puking. Red swollen eyelid. Weakness. Get-well-soon card. Time. Slow recovery. Liquid diet. 12 pills. Guests. Evening. Movie. Night. No fever. Sleep.

Morning again. Doctor. Examination. Change in medication.

Home. Blogger. 100th post.

Life is precious. Health is wealth.

Are you her?

I would not be surprised if an 8-year-old boy chose to buy his grandmother a video game? Would you chuckle? I would not. Most kids tend to be "egocentric" (not to be confused with selfishness). Egocentrism is the phase where children are unable to separate their beliefs from others. They think that if they would love to have a video game from Christmas, so would grandma!! Gradually kids learn to put themselves in other shoes and learn that everyone's life experiences are different. REALLY?? Then why do I see so many of us adults still egocentric, unable to believe that others are different than us, that what others may want or not want may be different from what you think they should want or not want?

I recently put up a post on how some women are still oppressed, not treated equally to men, and that they maybe need some upliftment. Some of you agreed, some disagreed, some with passion, some with nonchalance, and some of you felt that the woman has many choices to be in or out of a situation. REALLY?

Do you think that a girl child in Africa who is genetically mutilated (as per cultural practice) for the preservation of virginity, enhancement of male sexual satisfaction, and prevention of promiscuity is treated fairly and has a choice of being or not being in that situation?

Do you think that a woman in Iran, Iraq, or Afghanistan who has to walk around in a burkha everyday, unable to work, having no access to health care because the doctors are not female, and has to submit to domestic violence, is being treated fairly and has a choice in being who they are?

Do you think that when a girl child in countries such as China, Korea, and India who is abandoned, not favored, or even killed before she is born because of gender favoritism is in a fair position and has a choice in removing herself from being at risk for her own killing?

Do you think that the women who continue to practice Sati in the remote villages of India do so out of immortal love for their husbands? Do you think that the pressure from their relatives to commit this act is fair and that the girls have a choice in going against them?

REALLY?

Think again. You might think that the world is changing, that the women are in a much better position than they were years ago, and that there is gender equality present today. All true to some extent. But there is a lot that needs to change. There are a lot of women out there who are not as fortunate as you, or your mother, sister, friend, are. So before arguing with women who appear feminists about making false accusations against men, stop to answer this question.

Are you that woman in India, China, Africa, Korea, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan....

ARE YOU HER?

Whiners Winners?

They said, "Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone". Recently, I conjured up another quote of my own, "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Whine and the world comforts you.", based on personal experiences and observations.

Picture this.
A girl in her mid-twenties, immigrated to the United States, lost both her parents at age 18, working hard to make both ends meet and goes to school full-time to get an education. No one knows about her family background. Works daily from 8 am to 8 pm. Always has a smile on her face. Only a few close friends know that she is having boyfriend issues, problems with finishing her thesis, and is afraid that she might not be able to return to India soon to visit her older brother. When you meet her and ask her, "How are you?", she says, "Hanging in there!"
An outsider would say, "What a nice girl. What a smooth life."

Now picture this.
A girl in her mid-twenties, immigrated to the United States, lost both her parents at age 18, working hard to make both ends meet and goes to school full-time to get an education. Everyone knows about her family background. Works daily from 8 am to 8 pm. Always has a frown on her face. Her advisor, roommates, teachers, employers, neighbors, friends all know that she is having boyfriend issues, problems with finishing her thesis, and is afraid that she might not be able to return to India soon to visit her older brother. When you meet her and ask her, "How are you?", she says, "Ohhh I am having such a hard time. Life sucks man. Its all so hard..blah blah."
An outsider would say, "Poor girl. What a sad situation to be in."

In graduation ceremonies, I have seen special awards being given to people who have graduated despite hardships and I have wondered, " Who told them about the hardships?". Sometimes, as the MC rattles on the list of those hardships, I picture two other people in my head that I personally know who have gone through harder times and yet not being given any special award of that sort.

When the girl in scenario 1 eventually breaks down at some point, and starts crying, or becomes aggressive, something that she normally is not, people look down at her. Wonder how such a strong girl suddenly became weak. Wonder if she is a weirdo. And wonder if she needs anger management treatment. And no one bothers to ask her what she needs. On the other hand, when the girl in scenario 2 breaks down, cries, becomes aggressive, people lend her a shoulder to cry on, appear sympathetic, and ask her what they can offer her.

Are we punishing people who are self-reliant and independent, when they do reach out for help of some sort, by rejecting their "new personality"? Are we encouraging people to talk more about their problems if that is their habit? Are we reinforcing extroverts who may like to talk about their problems? Are we giving rewards to extroverted people who like to announce to the world their poor plight as compared to those those people who like to suffer in silence so as not to elicit false sympathies?

Are we then as a society rewarding people who whine in comparison to those who do not?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

Some people have lots of friends. And some people few. But most people have friends. Correct?

As a 5-year-old, the entire kindergarten class was my best friend. As a first-grader, the first girl to offer me candy on my first day of school was my best friend. Later on, the girl who sat with me during lunch became my best friend. And then the girl who also talked to me in the auto rickshaw back and fro to school became my best friend. Then as I grew older, the girl who knew about my first crush was my best friend. And later, the girl who comforted me when I found out that my crush already has a girlfriend, became my best friend. In high school, the girl who lent me her notes when I bunked classes became my best friend. In college, the girl who shared the same fashions as me became my best friend. In my Master's degree, the girl who took me home because I was not a localite, and fed me home-cooked food became my best friend. And then in the United States, the girl who offered me rides to school became my best friend...and amongst all these best friends, I had a gym best friend and a work best friend and a class best friend and a phone best friend and many others. And these days people have orkut and facebook and myspace best friends.

I can boast of over 200 friends on Orkut. And I can boast of over a 100 contacts on Yahoo Messenger. But I cannot boast of being in touch with all these people. Hell yeah...I do not even know what some of these people are doing, where they are, whether they are married or not, and if they still remember me. And yet, they are "friends".

I have been realizing over the years that we categorize our friends too.
Today, I have a group of friends that I know will always be ready to go out to eat if I give them a buzz. Another group will always be ready to have me over and play games all night. Yet another group will always be ready to travel with me. And another group will be ready to go to a club or movie with me. And then there is an online group, blogger friends, orkut friends, IM friends.

But how many of these people will be there when I need them? Who is that friend that you can call in the middle of the night when you need to go to the emergency room? Who is that friend who will answer your call even when at work in a meeting when you might be in an accident? Who is that friend who will come help you clean out your apartment and help you pack when you are moving permanently? Who is that friend who will cook dinner for you when you have a broken leg? Who is that friend who will answer your call to hear you wail and yet not get bored?

Who is that one friend?
AND
Are you that one friend to someone?

Anger Management

Seen the movie Anger Management? Heard about "Anger Management"? It had been a fad a few years back to send a child for "anger management" counseling. Though the fad now is to have one's child be diagnosed as "bipolar", anger management continues to be trendy to some folks. I have one client who is coming to me right now for "Anger Management" (which a lot of you will read about on the weekend on "The Woes of a Psychology Student".

I always am amused when my clients come to me saying we need anger management. "Why! The very reason you are here is that you have managed your anger in some way, just not the right way!!", is what I think to myself!

Anyway, this blog is focused on how I have personally seen some people manage their anger. You might find it appropriate or you might find it amusing. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Whatever you think, don't get angry...simply manage your anger.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is surely not coincidental.

Here are some ways that you might wanna try that I have already observed in the recent past..

• Make faces at the person they are mad at and say "neneenenene.." on their face...
• Bang doors as well as pots and pans....oh and even the car door of the person you are mad at...
  
• Pull your own eyebrows...
• Clean the kitchen, the bathroom, and whatever else that you can set your hands on to clean...
• Delete your scraps from the other person's scrap book and delete the ones that you received from them as well, or delete them off from your list!
  
• Not respond to their scraps but respond to everyone everyone elses...(Orkut again!)
• Shake your head like you would in a "halo" shampoo ad and walk away...
• Shake your leg vehemently while being seated...
• Give warnings on ORKUT to the other person about getting their act together...

(WOW Orkut seems to be a good medium these days..talk about anger management on the internet huh..)

And maybe there are many others such as speeding and driving as if you are the hero/heroine of a hindi movie and braking with the most unpleasant screech, yelling and being dramatic and rattling dialogues from a movie such as "how could you do this to me?" and "You broke your promise, I will never forgive you", and finding a private place to cry which sometimes turns out to be a dry bathtub. Of course cussing, getting thoughts of slapping the other person, or even punching them to give them a blue eye seems normal these days. My technique is to sulk, yell out expletives, go red like a beetroot, and say "I am pissed" at least ten times!

Anyone got any more interesting observations that they can add to my little list?

Thanks, and don't get mad that this is a repost. :)

I love Play Doh

Have you ever played with Play Doh? Not as a child but more recently? Which color do you prefer? What shapes do you like to make? How soft do you like it to be? Do you hammer it, pull it, stretch it, pound it, or roll it? How long do you hold on to it? How does it smell? Do you like your fingers sinking into it?

Precisely, do you like Play Doh? And why?

Aaaaah what again? Not played with play doh ever? You are lying! Why, you ask?

Let me tell you why. I think you are lying because I see YOU as play doh yourself. Not weird, at all. Picture this. The hand that pounds and stretches the play doh is LIFE that stretches you thin with its problems. At first you resist. You remain hard. Then gradually you learn your ways through it. You become flexible and malleable, something that easily adapts, and does not appear uncomfortable.

Doesn't life hammer us with problems forcing us to become stronger? Doesn't life roll us over with its incessant running around? Doesn't life pull at us, forcing us to make certain decisions, tugging us in all possible conflicting directions? Doesn't life poke us, prick us, and abuse us sometimes? And yet we sail along. Some of us take a bit longer, and some of us sometimes don't (like the play doh that has been left out too long to dry). But the truth is that most of us do.

We hear ourselves or others saying, "I am never going to fall in love again" after one heartbreak. And yet, after some time, we realize it was a phase.

A very dependent girl married into an abusive home may never think that she would be able to survive on her own, and yet when she chooses to leave her husband's home for her own safety, she has adapted to life and is able to make the right choices.

A young girl enjoying her teens and dreaming about crushes may never in her nightmares imagine that she would get cancer, and yet when she does, she bears with the unusual circumstances of being in a hospital day in day out rather than attending proms and parties.

So you see. Never underestimate your power. If you feel that life is hard and that its knuckles may break your bones, think once again. Maybe they will, but the fractures will heal and you will be up and running before you know it. Keep that chin up. You are adaptable and now you know it.