Serious Hum Tum

I poked fun at the innate differences that exist between men and women in Hum Tum I and Hum Tum II, very recently. These days a tag is making the rounds, a tag that involves writing down ten things that you hate about the opposite gender. Some people have taken it very seriously and have vented out their frustrations without paying heed to any limits, while some have been polite enough to refrain from swearing and have been diplomatic enough to express what they wanted without getting into anyone's bad books! Phew now that is a task!

Seriously, why are we so hung up on the differences between the two sexes? It is a known fact that we cannot live without each other. And even if you can, the bitter truth is that one cannot reproduce without the other. And if technology takes care of that, it is the norm that ultimately, a man will marry a woman and vice versa when they so desire (otherwise gay men and lesbian women would be well-accepted.

Men say women talk too much. Women say men never listen. Men say they do not listen because the women talk too much. Women say that because the men do not listen, they talk too much hoping that some of it is registered. Who started the cycle?

Women say men stare at their breasts while talking. Men say if they wore decent clothes they would not be distracted. Women say who are the men to tell them what to wear when men wear whatever pleases them. And if women do indeed start wearing "decent" clothes, men call them names such as "maniben" (at least in Gujjuland).

Men say women drive horribly. Women say men do not keep their eyes on the road and stare at female pedestrians.

Women say men are interested only in having sex. Men say they are born with those needs.

Men say women are too hormonal. Women say that only because of those hormones, can they give birth.

This can go on and on...It is a never-ending battle.

Is there a point to asking questions and making statements that will only make living with the opposite sex harder? Its hard to begin with....(judging from the number of posts that men and women write about how their loved ones left them in the lurch).

ACCEPTANCE and SHUTTING UP is the key.
Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls! Unless you have a sex change operation.....(that is altogether another story)......

Hum Tum-II

Alright! Enjoyed Hum Tum-I where women received some bashing and men chuckled to themselves? Then I decided to write another Hum Tum where men would feel not so wonderful and guess what? Everything serious came to my head!! Does that mean that women make a big deal out of small things and men a bigger deal out of small and big things? Or does that mean that some arguments are frivolous and can be resolved through humor but that some differences between men and women are so stark that they might actually cause serious rifts in the relationship?

Warning: This MIGHT make you smile but it will make you angry too!

SCENE ONE:

He: Who is that guy?
She: Oh he is my best pal Rakesh. Remember I told you about him?
He: I think he likes you.
She: HUH?
He: Yeah I can tell from the way he talks to you.
She: But he knows I have a boyfriend.
He: It does not matter. I know men. I tell ya!
She: Haha. You are crazy.
He: I don't want you talking to him.
She: I can't stop talking to him.
He: FINE!

She is upset. He is angry. Rakesh is oblivious.

SCENE TWO.

He: I am sorry I cannot make it to the party tonight.
She: But you promised.
He: Something came up.
She: Please.
He: Work is important, you know.
She: Finish it fast.
He: NO! I cannot!!!
She: Stop being rude.
He: You do not understand, do you? Why do we have to go through this every single time?
She: Then don't do this everytime!
He: Fine! I will come if that's all you care about.
She: No need to. (hangs up)
He: (calls again)
She: (does not answer)
He: (calls up again)
She (does not answer)
He: (After 8 hours, calls again): I am sorry.
She: That's ok.

She lets go after being miserable for 8 hours. He got his work done.

SCENE THREE:

She: Sheela had a baby last week and guess what they named the baby?
He: Uh huh.
She: Guess.
He: I don't know. You tell me.
She: Chitranjan.
He: Okay.
She: No reaction?
He: Ya. It's an odd name.
She: And guess what? Ratna told me that our boss is laying people off next week.
He: Uh huh.
She: Are you listening?
He: Not really.
She: What?
He: So what can I do if they are laying people off?
She: I am just telling you because I am worried.
He: But there is nothing I can do about it. What do you want me to do with information?

She picks up the phone to call her mother. He goes back to reading www.cnn.com

Hum Tum

Men. Women. So different. Yet want to live together. Sometimes it beats me how they manage.

Here are some common scenarios. And when I say common, I mean it!

SCENE ONE

She: You don't call me enough.
He: But I texted you.
She: So why could you just not call?
He: Cos there was nothing to talk about!
She: How come I always have something to talk about and you don't?
He: Cos you like to tell me about the whole world and I don't really care.
She: Are you saying you don't care about what I say.
He: No I am saying I don't care about those people you talk about.
She: So you don't care about the people who are important to me.
He: When did I say that?
She: Never mind!

She walks off in a huff. He wonders what he did wrong.

SCENE TWO

She: Did you like what I cooked?
He: Yeah I did. Can you pass me the chili sauce?
She: So it's not spicy enough for you?
He: Its good but I like it spicy.
She: So that means you really did not like it.
He: No I liked it.
She: If you liked it, why didn't you tell me on your own?
He: I had just eaten a bite. If you would have waited a little bit, I would have told you.
She: Never mind, I am not going to cook fancy stuff again.

She is upset. He keeps eating.

SCENE THREE

She: You always fall asleep early.
He: But I wake up at 7 am.
She: But it's the weekend.
He: But this is a habit.
She: You never sit up and watch movies with me.
He: I try to but I cannot help it if I fall asleep.
She: Then how do you stay up when you your "boys night out"?
He: That's because we are out and I am with a bunch of people.
She: So are you saying that they are more interesting than me?
He: No what I am saying is that I cannot fall asleep in a bar or a club.
She: I guess because there are so many pretty girls there for you to look at.
He: Huh?
She: Do you think I am pretty?
He: Yeah you are beautiful.
She: Then how come you never tell me that?
He: I am going to sleep. Good night.

She sobs. He sleeps.

And it never ends...................