Thursday, February 28, 2008

Serious Hum Tum

I poked fun at the innate differences that exist between men and women in Hum Tum I and Hum Tum II, very recently. These days a tag is making the rounds, a tag that involves writing down ten things that you hate about the opposite gender. Some people have taken it very seriously and have vented out their frustrations without paying heed to any limits, while some have been polite enough to refrain from swearing and have been diplomatic enough to express what they wanted without getting into anyone's bad books! Phew now that is a task!

Seriously, why are we so hung up on the differences between the two sexes? It is a known fact that we cannot live without each other. And even if you can, the bitter truth is that one cannot reproduce without the other. And if technology takes care of that, it is the norm that ultimately, a man will marry a woman and vice versa when they so desire (otherwise gay men and lesbian women would be well-accepted.

Men say women talk too much. Women say men never listen. Men say they do not listen because the women talk too much. Women say that because the men do not listen, they talk too much hoping that some of it is registered. Who started the cycle?

Women say men stare at their breasts while talking. Men say if they wore decent clothes they would not be distracted. Women say who are the men to tell them what to wear when men wear whatever pleases them. And if women do indeed start wearing "decent" clothes, men call them names such as "maniben" (at least in Gujjuland).

Men say women drive horribly. Women say men do not keep their eyes on the road and stare at female pedestrians.

Women say men are interested only in having sex. Men say they are born with those needs.

Men say women are too hormonal. Women say that only because of those hormones, can they give birth.

This can go on and on...It is a never-ending battle.

Is there a point to asking questions and making statements that will only make living with the opposite sex harder? Its hard to begin with....(judging from the number of posts that men and women write about how their loved ones left them in the lurch).

Boys will be boys. Girls will be girls! Unless you have a sex change operation.....(that is altogether another story)......

36 Words of Wisdom:

rOhit said...

No point arguing a word more.
The last line says ALL. :)

carolinagal said...

I couldn't agree with you more Solitaire! These inherent differences between the two sexes are always going to exist. Its the job of individuals of their own sex to learn to appreciate and respect the opposite sex...if not for anything else, just for the sake of their own happiness :)

Impressionist said...

Yeah Right!
These differences are always there! Nothing can be done!


Keshi said...

lol I agree Solitaire...accept n shutup. Good one!


Neeku said...

Way to go Girl ! Wah Wah ! have been through some serious "Maniben" phases :D ... because of the lurching eyes... infact I still don't wear tight tees ... coz I had noticed that bad habit of poeple so much that UUughs me off !

That so true... , yet still I hold this conclusion true... ever since I gained sense of this big bad world .. Which is,

Chokrao badha boodhivagarna hoi che... pan chokriyo ghani hoshiyaar....

And thats true.. cuz no Chokro came up with a solution of "Accept & Shut up" but it was my friend... a fellow Gujjuben.

This proves the realization of the hypothesis I stated few lines above.

Again Way to Go Girl!

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit, I am glad you agree.

@ Carolinagal, seriously! It is a futile battle.

@ Impressionist, ya the sooner we realize the better it is!

@ Keshi, haha. Thank you!

@ Neeku, aha! some gujju guys might come read that and bash you up!

IR said...

Thank you for dropping on my blog

you missed out on "why women take lights yeras to dress up "

i think the fun is in the fact that there are differences between sexes,
where is the fun if both men and women were alike ?

Neeku said...

considering my recent encounter with a chauvinistic (read my recent blog for that!)I am pretty much in a mood to bash them back!

Uugh! Men ... or should I rephrase it Some Men!

Sweetstickychewy said...

Awesome post!

You said it Acceptance and shutting up is the key. Sure a challenge. but worth the step forward.


Deepti said...

Opposites attract!! So its fun to have the differences :)

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

the last line has been done with a flourish so rarely seen on blogger... [:D]

but why is it that every little thing must boil down to the difference between the two sexes? we're different because we cant be alike... i wish people would leave it at that...

anuj said...

yes, one is incomplete without the other.

Abhay said...

opposites attract :)

claytonia vices said...

This is off-topic: You manage so many blogs simultaneously, wow!

Yeah, if both men and women were alike, it would have been so boring!!

Aphrodite said...

oho nicempost gal...nd i totally wish i cld just accept and forget and never be reminded...damn!!

Sourish Karmakar said...

Men say women talk too much. Women say men never listen. Men say they do not listen because the women talk too much. Women say that because the men do not listen, they talk too much hoping that some of it is registered. Who started the cycle?


dat was right its all men's fault :P

a very nice way to judge and very cute answers ...and abt decent clothes..its like we (means we boys) like the casual acquainted gal to wear hottie hottie but for gudfrnds and well frnds we are always *wear decent..yeh kya pehenki I ho..aisa lag rha hai jaise kal raat ki chowmein latkayi hui ho..(abt noodle straps) *

and btw dint anebody told u that I tagged u :P

vitruvian said...

well..if we were all the same then it wouldn't be any fun would it now?? ;)

Vandita said...

lol @ the last line...
perfect sum up :)

Cinderella. said...

Ha ha...good one there Sol.
The last line said it all actually...!!

Solitaire said...

@ IR, ya its fun when they are different. The fun ends when they start fighting about the differences. Welcome to my blog!

@ Neeku, some men would be better!

@ Sweetstickychewy, I think I have not reached that acceptance stage but I sure have shut up!

@ Deepti, let's make it fun all the time!

Solitaire said...

@ Bubbles, but they don't na! They want to dig and dig for reasons. And when they find them, they are not satisfied and dig even more!

@ Anuj, bitter truth!

@ Abhay, and they fight too!

@ Claytonia, thanks!! Welcome to my blog. I hope you get a chance to read all of them. They are all different just like men and women are.

Solitaire said...

@ Aphrodite, that forgetting and never be reminded part might never happen. They are always in your face..

@ Sourish, chalo koi toh mana ke its men's fault. :p
About the tag, I already did it a few days ago. check it out on

@ Vitruvian, no and there would not be so many hum-tums too!

Solitaire said...

@ Vandita, thank you!

@ Cinderella, thank you!

aneri_masi said...

Are yaar, I try to shut up. But there is this tiny voice in my head that says, why should I shut up? Why can't he listen, and it starts all over again, LOL. I think its that voice that needs to shut up first ;)

I went to the library this morning, and came across a very amusing title:
"The Proper Care and Feed of Husbands". As if they were some exotic species of plants! I borrowed it, hope the book is as amusing as its title.

Mez said...

Hey there is a dedication for you. Come check it.

anuj said...

I guess its not a bitter truth. I think it was meant to be that way, the world wud have been impossible otherwise. At times we do whine about how the world wud have been a better place if the other sex was not there .. but thn whn its done, sometime we do realise that thts not true ..

so, it is bitter at times, but it is hard to imagine a wrld without the other.

and evntually there wud have been nothing if any of adam or eve were missing .. :P


ps: I tries posting one cmnt earlier bt it messed up, and thn m writing this again with whtevr i can recall, so if the other gets published too .. you can compare the diff ..

Satish Bolla said...

but whatever u say, the battle goes on forever. even if one gender stays silent, the other one raises a furore even over this.

anyways, i agree with you that men r men and women r women.

Mansi Trivedi said...

Yeah there have been guys who have said, u r a girl, u shud do all the cooking. what the hell r u doing thinking about a career. this coming from an educated gujju boy.

nothing annoys me more than bucketing.

I am an avid reader. so i totally surprised someone by having more knowledge on politics and finance than him. loved the look on his face. :D

i think it is about time it stopped.

glad you brought it up girl. :)

Mansi Trivedi said...

I actually totally disagree.

I didnt realize that you were supporting stereotypes. a lot of traits are similar but some of us who are different fall victim of the famous shut up and accept.

do u really feel that way?

Solitaire said...

@ Aneri Masi, the very fact that there are so many books addressing these differences suggests that no one can get past this topic..its a hard task!

@ Anuj, its a bitter-sweet truth. Hows that?

@ Mansi, you disagree with what men and women say about each other? Or the fact that men and women are different. I am not supporting stereotypes here. I am merely stating what men and women say to and about each other.

@ Satish, yup..but remember.."silence is golden"

Mez said...

Solitaire this Crush post thingy kept me really occupied. Will surely catch up with all ur posts that I have missed out on. Cmon now gimme a smile.

Rahul... in City of Dreamz said...

Ha ha ha ;)

Now I have a short story to tell you here…
yesterday I was having lunch with a friend of mine who has recently gotten married. and how she was cribbing that her guy is already paying more attntion to watching cricket rather than watching her .. he he he… I replied.. "men are like that"….

She said "all you men are so insensitive".

I asked her… so then what did she do to get even , " she said.. I didn’t cook for him.. and he had to have maggi for lunch"…

and I replied" Now who is being insensitive here???"

He he he

Rahul said...

The battle will continue forever ...
Waiting for one more in this series.

Solitaire said...

@ Mez, :)

@ Rahul (city of dreams), tit for tat na.

@ Rahul, Jab tak duniya mein men women hai series toh banti aayegi. Main nahi toh koi aur sahi..

Pavi!!!! said... is a futile battle...What i don' t understand is why should it be a battle in the 1st place? I'm not saying we should necassarily appreciate what the other sex is but we should just live with it and understand it!
n these generalizations about what men are and what women are..someone started it and people continue to live life that way.
Women are suppose to love shopping, take forever to dress, love talking n blah blah blah...Men are suppose to be more techy, love sports, never cry , have sex on their mind all the time n blah blah blah...n all the new borns hear this since they are born and probably forced to live up to these expectations/assumptions set God knows how many generations back!

Prachi said...

wat fun if everything and everyone was perfect .....

shut up, accept and ENJOY!!!! ;)