Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Unbreak My Heart

February 14th is only 8 days away.

Precisely, Valentine's Day is 8 days away.

And some of us squirm in our seats each time someone asks us "What are your plans for Valentine's Day?". We tend to scream silently when a committed, engaged or married friend asks us the same question, knowing very well that we are single, perhaps heartbroken, and somewhat lonely. Maybe they do that so that we can ask them what their plans are in return. And then maybe out of courtesy, we indeed do that, trying to switch the focus of the conversation onto them. Result: We painstakingly feign interest and enthusiasm when they blurt out details of their spa reservation, candle light dinner at home, and the surprise bubble bath that they have planned.

What we, them, and the media fail to emphasize is that Valentine's Day is indeed about love, but not necessarily about romantic love. Its not all about expensive presents, fancy chocolates, teddy bears, and huge red hearts floating around. The day is about spreading love and joy, may it be with a partner, parent, sibling, best friend, roommate, or coworker.

Remember how cheesy Madhuri Dixit looked buying gifts for herself in "Dil To Pagal Hai" on Valentine's Day? She did that for herself because she loves herself. I know for a fact that we all have someone that we love and who loves us back in return. So whether you are partnered or not, think about those loved ones this Valentine's Day.

You are not lonely. You are not heartbroken. You have someone you can plan a Valentine's Day for. You do not have to wait for Mother's Day, Father's Day or Friendship Day. You do not need an excuse. Go ahead and walk around the stores with larger than life hearts hanging there. You don't have to be love struck to do that. As for me, I am going to throw a party next week and spend a wonderful evening with people I call friends!

47 Words of Wisdom:

Tuhin said...

Are fellow bloggers invited too? ;)

Neetal said...

Solitaire... you just read my mind this morning, anyways... you have been tagged by my 'I Love you, Too' Tag =)

Don't let me down, Buddy =) and feel free to share with you other buddies-waadies as well ;)


divya said...

umm nice thoughts :) love is love!!

Vandita said...

Yayie...good idea. Party with frnds is always fun :)
Waise last time i had bought myself a rose and met frnds on Vday...this time i have exams round the corner...though that doesn't really matter but im gonna listen to great love songs on the radio and prolly go do some shoppin but no major plans, coz the only thing i wanted to do on Valentine's can't be done!

Anurag said...

good i never had a gang who celebrated valentine's day :D
for me its just another day

n for the league of extraordinary gentlemen...again..its just another day...wat else can it be :D

Lena said...

love is really bigger than just romantic love :) So for all who think they are lonely your post is a good motivation to start some plans for getting and giving more love on that day :)

Mansi Trivedi said...

I hope I am invited.

Solitaire said...

@ Tuhin, sure thing! Will you fly up from Houston?

@ Neetal, Yayyyy! Another tag!

@ Divya, very true!

@ Vandita, as long as no one starts sobbing that they are all alone in life at that party, I am cool!

Solitaire said...

@ Anurag, I wish that it could be just another day. But hallmark just won't let it be!

@ Lena, very well put!

@ Mansi, sure thing! You wanna?

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Solitaire,
I like your philosophy in life. Yes, Valentine's Day is not only for lovers but for all people who loves and gets loved in return. It can be a love for one's parents or sibling or for a friend. Whatever it is, all people love someone. Love is inside the heart. We can be alone and still burst forth with love. It is an extension of God's love for us. If we can harness that love, we have nothing to be sorry for since we already have everything in us. Thanks for your very sensible post. God bless you and your family always.

Keshi said...

Lovely post!

I dread Vals Day..not cos Im lonely but...ok alrite its cos Im lonely!!!



Anonymous said...

er! Its just another day. Anyways love is celebrated each moment of our lives.. so I just don't know why we need a particular day to remind us.. that we lov?!

aww! I love the idea of!! but well we will read about how it was :)

J E E V Y said...

lol! right said! :P
I hate this whole thing called Valentines Day!
I laugh at all these foolish couples infact! I mean whats with the chocolates and balloons huh??
is that the only day to show love to ur partner?
the only people who have fun on such days are the Greetings & Gifts shops by makin loads of money!


Anonymous said...

I feel market dynamics is more beside the hype of valentine day. nevertheless its like creating the hype and earning money....

but yes expressing the feelings is never dependent on any day. Whenever you feel like expressing your love for somebody or something to express go and do it.....


Pavi!!!! said...

ohh... I can't stand the concept of Valentine's Day... all the heart-shaped thingys and the color red irritate me to no end!

n to celebrate my love...I'd rather do that on our special day!

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

i don't know why people make it a big deal if they don't have anyone to celebrate Valentine's day with. I mean, is it THAT important? a lot of people don't celebrate a lot of different types of days but its not like we should be sad. If one has someone to celebrate it with, go for it... if not then its not really a big deal in my point of view.
I know valentines is not going to be anything special for me but i am totally fine with.
I hope this helps :)

Sam said...

Well said... I end up buying flowers for myself and my Mom on this day and I don't even mind doing that.. I share similar sentiments on this day, its more about love rather than romance!! ;)

Anjuli said...

I celebrate almost all the festivals (except for Holi, for obvious reasons) and I consider Valentine's Day as a festival too :-P,

so I celebrate it each year with full enthu whether or not I have a partner at that point in time, I still remember once I celebrated it with my Mom and had made some sweetdish too.... :-)

carolinagal said...

Nice one again Solitaire!

For all those 'non-believers' out there...
Valentine's Day is a lot more than just heart-shaped balloons and candy. There is a certain degree of history associated with. Although the exact origin of the term 'Valentine's Day' and the purpose of this day remains elusive, there are several historical facts that support it. My favorite historical fact is this: In Paris, in the early 1400s, a High Court of Love was established on Valentine's Day. This court dealt with issues such as 'violence against women, betrayals, and even love contracts.

I'm not sure if everyone here knows this, but many American schools these days encourage children to exchange cards or gifts (not necessarily commercially purchased), and express what they appreciate about the other kids. I say, what a lovely way to teach children to love others!!

I agree that today Valentine's Day is become so much of a commercial hoopla but there is some meaning to it as well.

Yes, if you like/love someone, you can say it to that person anytime. But, in many cases, that never happens. Valentine's Day provides a great opportunity for one to share his/her feelings, especially when they are unable to do so on any other day.

So I say, lets keep an open heart and celebrate this day with love, like you would celebrate any other holiday.


c e e d y said...

well agree completely and so the song that got picked for the "song tag" for you makes complete sense right :)...

I love to read your work and comment - so it all makes weird sense :)....

BTW wheres the party - am I invited too....:)

:: Clouds :: said...

And I'm going to have a date with my textbooks on valentines' day.

With the exams just round the corner,like i have a choice. ;)

Cinderella. said...

I so hate that question..makes it sounds like if you aint doing're life is gonna be doomed !!
I really dont like all this hullabaloo, coz you know not everyone is blessed with love to celebrate. Like you said, many would be nursing a broken heart, many would be muddling over their single lives. Makes it so painful for them na. And the city wide preparartions for the whole make it all the more depressing if you are lonely already.AArrrgh !!YOu have to kinda gear yourself up against it.
Though I aint the one, to be celebrating it alone, like cheesy madhuri dixit did, I also not the one to sit and cry over it, that "awww...I'm sadly single.". I'll go out with frens, or better still, lounge around at hoem, or lilke I was doing last my ass off at office !!!
Not bad, you know !!

Dusty Fog said...

i guess so....!!!

Mez said...

Any cues on how to avoid Valentine day blues?

Deepti said...

Most of my friends are either engaged / married and when I tell them I have no plans for V day .. its the poor you look that i get ..
and i firmly believe
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.-Erich Segal"
Hope u have an amazing party ... maybe i'll throw one too :D

J said...

I didn't know we could buy gifts for ourselves on V day?? Oh boy.. tis the perfect excuse to indulge myself in some retail therapy.

KPs View! said...

Thats nice of u do that!!

Its not bad idea throwing party....:)

Am I invited to this Party or No?

Cosmic Joy said...

I like your views on how valentine's day should be a celebration of love for our loved ones, and not necessarily the romantic kind.

Hope you have a great party! I am sure we will read all about it in a future post here :)

Solitaire said...

@ Mel, Sometimes sorrow is so powerful that people forget that they can love and that it is that love that is causing the sorrow only because it is unreturned.

@ Keshi, you are not lonely! You have friends who bring cute guys to parties. Now that's something, isnt it?

@ Veens, it is just another day. But it is also a day to do something special for someone who we may have taken for granted on other "just another day"s.

Solitaire said...

@ Jeevy, I don't know if the couples are foolish. Yes, I agree that the hearts and the teddies and the red color sometimes can be a little too much but then I suppose they can say the same about Raksha Bandhan too. Do we really need a special day to tell our brothers that they need to protect us and that we love them?

Solitaire said...

@ Ashu, Valentine's Day does have its own hype. But I also think its a good reminder to people that they need to do something special for their loved ones which they might forget to on a mundane day.

@ Pavi, as long as you do it on a special day, that's fine, I guess.

@ Raaji, I think its the "poor you" looks that people give when they say they have no plans for valentine's day that pressurizes people into making plans or feeling sorry for themselves.

Solitaire said...

@ Sam, true true! I hope you and your mom have a good time this year!

@ Anjuli, LOL! You are too cute!

@ Carolinagal, well-said! A lot of people don't know about St. Valentine. I guess they print about him every Valentine's Day but people are too caught up in the red hearts and candy to read that!

@ Ceedy, everyone is invited provided they pay for their own airfare!

Solitaire said...

@ Clouds, good! At least you have an excuse to not celebrate it, right? ;)

@ Cinderella, good attitude!!! But I thought you already have a valentine!?

@ Dusty ???

@ Mez, yes! To either get stoned, to celebrate it with family and friends who are still in your life and love you and care for you, or to treat it like any other day and stare the clock and let it pass!

Solitaire said...

@ Deepti, "poor you"?? Sometimes being single has its own advantages!! Let us know how the party went!

@ J, go for it!

@ Kp, sure thing!

@ Cosmic, I am not sure if you will read about the party. I might be too drunk to remember details. :)

Abhay said...

v-day has been projected to us in the 'romantic love' kinda way so that archies and hallmark make loads of money and drain our pockets :)

havent gotten so hooked to any blog till date...must've like read some 20 odd posts in as many minutes...u're damn good :)
random props.

Sulz said...

bulaya nahi toh kam se kam yaad toh kar hi lena meri ! nahi kareygi toh zabardasti yaad dilaunga deekhna !

Mez said...

Hmmmmm..i thot so :)

Sam said...

ah!! well.. honestly though its a day to celebrate love, the media gimmicks highlight it with romantic love and taht's why the racket surrounding it..
and though am not single, but even i wud be spending the day with myself as company (frnds might drop in, but then in the middle of the week.. fat chance!!), coz (gng by popular concept) my girl is abt 2000k away...sheesh!!!
dats life!!!

Sam said...

btw, do u really need a special day to say that you love someone???

maverick said...

well...happens...good u haivng a party...wats ur address..i mite take a flight n come ll b busy attending classes thankfully :D

Deepali said...

Happy Commercialization Day to you too.

Btw you might just end up meeting a blog friend (if anyone does fly down). So it's not that tough you see.

Cinderella. said...

Yep, sure do..but the thing is..we're not in the same city right now...
Will be togther prob'ly by 20th...long after Valentine's day would be over and out !!
You have a gala time though.

Mansi Trivedi said...

8 Million Americans give themselves a V-day present each year.

elusive said...

i so agree with you :)

willheim said...

guys don't care as much about vday as girls. but even so, last year i bought my wife three dozen long stemmed red roses, and put a bunch of neat pictures of us and our kids out, you know, a neat little shrine thingy, and she rushed in late, didn't look at them and never even said thanks.

this year you know what she gets? you know those little heart shaped candies with slogans on them? You know the ones, they are the size of a dime (well, a little smaller) and they come in a box?

that's what she gets this year.

screw valentines day! but not in a literal, familiar way.

Solitaire said...

@ Abhay, thank you for that. Reinforces me to write more.

@ Sulz, hmmmph!

@ Sam, so if your girl were in the same town as you, what would you have done? Seems to me like you are being forced not to celebrate because of the life circumstance! Anyway, sometimes you do need a special day to tell someone that you love them because on an ordinary day, we sometimes forget to do that.

Solitaire said...

@ Maverick, so do you still need my address?

@ Mansi, thanks for that statistic. Puts things into perspective.

@ Elusive, thank you!

@ Willheim, OMG! That was nice of you. But seems to me that your wife is not into Valentine's Day at all. How about actually asking her if she wants to celebrate it or not. Maybe that will facilitate a good discussion and you will know if you should plan something or not.