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Monday, February 25, 2008

It's All About Control...

It's All About Control..

You control your diet so that you do not put on weight.
But you might still get cancer and die.

You match horoscopes with a potential partner before getting married.
But you still might end up getting a divorce.

You monitor your partner's cellphone bill so that you know that they are not cheating on you.
But they might still not love you and you will be unhappy.

You ask your child to sign up for an engineering or medicine program.
But they might still not do well and fail.

You balance your checkbook each time and keep your extravagant purchases under check.
But you might still be robbed and lose all your savings.

You might keep your car shining bright and sparkling clean so that it continues to look brand new.
But you might still have someone scratch it and bump into it without you knowing.

You might spread rumors or bite someone in the back so that they are not liked.
But you might end up being the one who is disliked.

You might plan your next vacation spot to a T.
But you might still face stormy weather and never take off.

It's all about control, we think. You control our life, your actions, your behaviors, other's choices, and then cry when things do not work out. Planning is good..but control?

It's all about control. Yes! A different kind of control. Control that thought that things should always be a certain way. Control that worry of what will happen if things do not happen they way you planned them. Control the rigidity. Sometimes, things do not work out. And no matter how hard you try to hold them a certain way, they will slip away..just like sand in your palms. Control what you can. And be open to what comes along.

There is only so much you can do.


44 Words of Wisdom:

Sam said...

"There's only so much you can do!!"

Well said.... wonder how many people really udnerstand that??

Knatchbulley Hughzscene said...

why so much of pessimism???
we shud not try to control our lives too much.. bad things do happen.. but we always hope for the best..

p.s. i've been planning a trekking vacation since last Jan ie; 2007 m yet to go on one.. :( plans for this may hv already gone kaput!!

justme said...

I always wonder why I do not have enough control on some things..try as much as I may! I guess its abt control - being OK with having control over this desire to control !!!!! Phew...

Neeku said...

Its all destiny. !

Sab Bhagwan ke haath mein hai Baba !

Sab Uper wale ki marzi !

That was bollywood sugar for your morning coffee/tea..

But on a serious note,
I personally feel that the chances are divided into 50~50... 50%is your contribution... and the other 50% is the result of =

(sincerity of your intention * with how good you have been) + (Is it really good for you?) + (The mood of the Almighty * The swing of Miss. Destiny)

Candid Confessions said...

"There is only so much you can do"

Absolutely second you on that. I have been on the other side of being the hyper control freak! I have mellowed down much and accepted that there is only so much you can do. And hell yeah, I am happier now!

Cinderella. said...

So true...!
You know I deeply believe in this, we keep planning and in the course control our lives, basically try not to live in the present rather the future.
And then make compromises thinking of a better tomoro, but who knows we'd be alive to see that tomoro...??
I mean I aint trynna say that plaaning and contrlling are vices, but just that we mustnt forget that what we have right now can be taken away any moment, all of it...why not make the most of it,whilst thinking of the future too ??

aneri_masi said...

what was that thing in the Gita...
Karm karte raho, phal ki aasha mat rakho... something like that?

Your bit of wisdom sounds a bit like that...

R3d3MpTioN said...

don't you think what you just said was more to do with controlling your urge to control and thus leading yourself back into the cycle?

just a thought...

btw I like your "...nerd not by choice" nice lines

Pavi!!!! said...

Moral of the story : U try to control but really u cannot. What is destined to happen will.But being humans, we cant help trying our best to control...n that I think good in some cases!

J said...

Brilliant post. You can only do so much!! How true.

vEENs said...

uff!

Somethings have to be accepted just the way they are. You cannot control everything in your life.

well said Sneha :)

I wish, I could train myself to accept certain things!

vitruvian said...

my definition of "control over life"...
planning what u can and what is important in life but making the best of what you get...
how u deal with what is dealt to u in life is what control is all about!
cheers!

PS:i love the way u come up with such multifarious things for so many different blogs nearly everyday..
just for that i'm in awe of u!

Anjuli said...

nahin hota nahin hota NAHIN HOTA!!!!!!!!!!!


hehehehe...

how are u doing?

Sweetstickychewy said...

***Control what you can. And be open to what comes along.

I love that thought! Definitely something to keep in mind for me.:)

As i was reading ya post. It also tells me that nothing is permanent.

Cheeries!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Solitaire,
Yes, we can never control our destiny. We can only trust God that He will control our lives. So much planning may sometimes result in bigger frustrations. Thanks for the interesting post. God bless you and your family always.

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

i rather like going with the flow... while i agree that everyone wants control of whats happening around them, sometimes its just the best option to let it go...

p.s- the new blogs up n running...

Lena said...

and how do you know these things are the ones you can control or for the same matter you can not?

a very wise post though :)

Mez said...

How do you manage to come up with such great topics that we otherwise may never even think about. Am getting to learn a lot from you. Keep it goin sweetz!

Pri said...

spot on!!
ur absolutely right sneha...
there is only so much u can do...and nothing in the world can change even an inch with ur efforts after that point :(
one of the sad truths of life we just gotta accept...

Solitaire said...

@ Sam. I think everyone does. They just forget it.

@ Knatchbulley, you see pessimism in this post? I just took your rose-tinted glasses off. That's all.

@ Justme, haha! You confused me.

@ Neeku, yes you can attribute it to the almighty but I think this applies to atheists too.

Solitaire said...

@ Candid, good for you!

@ Very right! Someone may crib about a long distance relationship all the time and not enjoy their relationship. But when they end up going to their partner's city, he/she might be transferred to another city. Planning backfires!

@ Aneri, no idea. Never read it.

@ r3d3mption, Its only a way of saying that if people are control freaks, then its better that they control the urge to control rather than the actual events themselves. Ideally, no control is good.

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi, I am not talking about fate and destiny per say but yes, there can be a turn of events, and your control and plans will backfire.

@ J, thank you.

@ Veens, dheere dheere you will..don't worry.

@ Vitruvian, good definition!! And thank you so much for the compliment.

Solitaire said...

@ Anjuli, ho jayega!! I am well. You?

@ Sweetstickychewy, absolutely!! Change is constant.

@ Mel, exactly. Very easy to look back and say I should have planned this a certain way. But we cannot control what comes along after the plan is executed.

@ Bubbles, good line of thinking.

Solitaire said...

@ Lena, the only things we can control are our actions and behaviors, most of the times. Even our thoughts are not so easy to control. And others' actions and external events cannot absolutely be controlled. Somethings go exactly as we plan them and we begin to believe that it was the power of our control. It was just pure luck.

@ Mez, I am running out of topics, though. :(

@ Pri, why even sad truth? Just because of the urge to control right?

Pavi!!!! said...

@solitare : out of context of this blog, but in cntext with the our comments - so do u not belive in "fate" and "destiny" ?

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi, I LOVE to talk about fate and destiny when things go wrong. I love to blame it on fate. Its my defense mechanism. I believe in it when its convenient.

RADhika said...

absolutely correct!
many a times we just fail to realize that there is a subtle line between planning and control. we just don't realize when we cross it. and then feel bad when something doesn;t happen as per our wish...

very well put!

divya said...

i lose control...particularly over anger,emtions,feelings,words...what not :P

vEENs said...

I didn't know about this guy. and never visited his blog either.

That was a pathetic message to put up on a public page. Hm! the only explanation is that he is hurt bad.. but then he should NOT generalize!

Well I am never gonna go their, first impression is the best impression they say. And I think, now that it is true.

Anurag said...

well said...
some of the people i am most envious of are people who take life as it comes...something i will never be able to do

Ashu said...

we give best shot to keep things in our control, yet they get out of hands and then the repurcussions of them are metronomic.

contorl is a very illusive word...it says a great deal about being in command, but also says a big deal about a kind of negativity..

Pavi!!!! said...

@ Solitare :-)like many of us!

Keshi said...

I control control ;-)

Keshi.

Mez said...

Don't think u ever will

Deepti said...

There is only so much you can do"
How true!!! and to mask our inability to control control, we hide behind destiny :)

Ravi said...

What a 'controlled' article ;o)

Hey, btw, I've started my blog on a new domain, so would request you to update my url in your blogroll.

I'm now at:

http://www.bollywoodbuzz.in/

Take care!

Deepali said...

You might keep your car shining bright and sparkling clean so that it continues to look brand new.
But bird poop might fall on it the next second
hehe happens only too often.

Vandita said...

hmmm i wont deny i am one of those ppl who plan a lot and even crib when things don't go according to plan but i agree things hardly ever go according to plan, its just how i am, i can't start work till ive wasted half my time planning :P
very well written

Solitaire said...

@ Radhika, thank you!

@ Divya, losing control is fine..actually not that fine..but losing control because you lost control is not fine..oh man..i just confused myself!

@ Veens, actually my first impression has always been the wrong impression so let's wait and watch.

Solitaire said...

@ Anurag, never say never again!

@ Ashu, yeah control does have a negative connotation.

@ Keshi, also make sure you control that control that controls control.

@ Mez, your newest idea is brilliant.

@ Deepti, yeah. To blame things on destiny is only rationalization.

Solitaire said...

@ Ravi, seems like you control your domain well.

@ Deepali, hahahah! That was funny.

@ Vandita, good luck planning. At least you know that that it might fail.

AVINASH said...

U r gonna Die someday ....
So N'joy it today....

sng said...

Man proposes, God disposes..

Awesome posts u have.. :)

Mampi said...

Exactly, that is precisely as much as we CAN do.
As you said in another post, echoing my rule of life... Hope for the best and be prepared for the worst.
Even through control.