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Thursday, February 21, 2008

Drowning In A Swimming Pool

This post is related to a lot of different posts that I have seen going around lately about how things are getting mean on blogosphere, how people are being rude, arrogant, immature, judgmental, and how people are shocked about that! Some disappointed, some angry, some disillusioned, and some helpless.

Come on now! Are you really shocked? This is blogosphere, no doubt. A virtual world. Did you expect this to be paradise? A refreshing respite from the bitterness and the politics that exist in the real world? Did you expect to form life-making friendships here in an effort to escape the hard work that we need to put in to maintain relationships face-to-face? But we do not really have virtual people and characters created only for blogosphere by E-Blogger, do we? The people who make this blogosphere are real people. Feelings are going to be projected onto this world. More so, I would believe, because it is easy to say what you want here. You type, delete, rephrase, edit, feel happy, click, post! Voila!!

It is not so easy to do that in real life. Once the words pop out of your mouth, its over! There is no looking back. Sometimes people think hard before they talk, for the very same reason. Therefore, many conflicts in real life are avoided and suppressed. However, when typing, its easier (well lets say, at least for me it is). We often may not be aware of how the other person might react. We have no fear of facing punches in our belly or suffering from black eyes. And we think, "If they feel bad, too bad." because you do not have to be in their face all day. With the touch of a button, you will ignore them! Click!

Think about it. Blogosphere is like a swimming pool compared to the big oceans out there. Its a part. Do not make it a whole. If you find yourself drowning, do not pull someone else in with you. If you find yourself scrambling for the floor beneath you, be calm, and glide over to the shallow end. I am sure you know swimming. Otherwise you would not have jumped into the pool to begin with. And if you jumped in for the sake of learning, stay at the shallow end please!! There are no lifeguards here. Someone might come to your aid, or they might not. We all have to look out for ourselves.

Let's play it easy.

49 Words of Wisdom:

gaurav said...

this world is paradise for me. now im so much into this world..
earlier i was waiting for ur snaps in orkut but now adays waiting for ur new posts.. i couldnt sleep without readin ur blog.. and i felt very nice after read ur thoughts..
so make this virtual world more beautiful by putting new post every day.. haha :-)

Lena said...

"And stop being bossy around every blog ..... stop throwing your weight honey. Learn to accept differences and stop being disgraceful in every post of yours. You are nothing..."

Not dont be afraid it is not something i am telling you - it is only one example of comments i received from someone.

For me blogging is a hobby. I like writing. it is not about socialising as i really have no need in this and i have this border between what is real and what might be fake or virtual.

But play it easy when someone insults your friend? Would you just stay and watch?

Easy to say because once you start doing something you cant avoid putting feelings and emotions in there. And even if your mind gets that what you are doing is wrong, your heart will tell you to go for it and to stand up for people you love.

Wouldnt you?

Vandita said...

im gonna stay on the shallow side ...

Solitaire said...

@ Gaurav, welcome to Paradise! Enjoy it while it lasts!

@ Lena, those are the people that are trying to drown you and your friends, I suppose. And you are being your friend's lifeguard. But a lifeguard will not save someone by drowning someone else. And if they do that, that someone else will try to drown the lifeguard too. The swimming pool is turning into a whirlpool!

@ Vandita, good for you!

carolinagal said...

Well said Sneha!

Lena said...

it has been a pond for a while, sneha, until someone decided whirpool is much more fun.
Anyways i got your point and one part of me says you are right but the other one says it still depends

rayshma said...

hmm... well put!
i used to be bothered initially by some arbit people making completely inane comments. now, i just ignore. and yeah, i've realized that if i ignore rudeness, in the virtual world, it goes away!
that said, i have made some good pals virtually. and i hope to make more too.

Pavi!!!! said...

Nicely said. Yup, I think its important to stay on the top of all the shit people give u in the form of comments and just do ur own thing, provided ur not hurtin any1 in the process.
@ the end of the day, watever reason ur bloggin for..u must have fun and not let it bother/stress u!

*~*Sameera*~* said...

That was very well put but when one is at the receiving end of gibberish and water goes above the head,something needs to be done.It's not about being someone's lifeguard,it is about standing up for what is right and pitifully so many just shy away or get fizzled out or prefer to turn a blind eye to the nastiness going around here in Bloggerville.

As you say,to each his/her own;but there is a limit to keep mum when innuendos are lashed out left,right and center.

Btw,I edited the story on your request to make it clearer.

c e e d y said...

if this is where one sees his/her life taking shape - then I feel sorry for that person

Solitaire said...

@ Carolinagal, thanks!

@ Pavi, You are absolutely right. If this is a hobby, it should remain one and not become a means to start a war.

@ Lena, I hope you can swim in a calm pond again.

@ Rayshma, yeah because when you ignore they have no choice but to back off.

That was it... said...

:-)

Ashu said...

Good analysis Sneha :). Bloggerville is a free open world where somebody likes some one and may notlike for whatever reason.

false stories, crooked truths, insecurities, bossism and sarcasm unfortunately are integral part of this free ad mad world...

its very easy to put up a hate post for somebody for own insecurities or try been putting a moral high ground, but then who bothers ?

the obsession with somebody else s life, ridiculing the pain or questioning the identity is something which gives immense pleasure to somebody, then i feel the person is bound to fall free to a whirlpool as you say.....

there are different reasons why people blog, for somebody its putting perspectives, for somebody its getting out of unbearable pain life threw at them, but how good it is on somebody s part to call that pain fake ?

it takes courage to stand for pain and yet do your normal stuff, not many withstand that. very few are able to. Handful of them. when somebody pisses off for not been able to visit the blog for few days, which can be a genuine reason,given job pressures or something like that, then just imagine how would those lesser mortals react (god forbid) if they fall prey to a separation or a breakup!!!!!

i know writing hate ful posts or cursing somebody is cheap, but then apna perspective bhi to rakhna padega.....

The Keeper of the Keys said...

The real world is definitely harder but the virtual world is more dangerous. hardly a paradise.

nik said...

spoken like a true blogger .. well said!!!

Bubbles of FireWhisky said...

love what you've written... so true!!!

if you dont like something then move on yaar... i dont understand these petty squabbles... i mean, everyone has their own views... and you have to respect that instead of turning it into ome sort of arbit politics...

Impressionist said...

boy! Im reading too much these days I guess!
all blogs writing bout this? gah!
maybe I shud take a break!

-I

Keshi said...

I agree...100%.

Keshi.

Ghost Particle said...

i agree wit u 100%.

But we are at a time where one form of escapism paradise is much preferred because of the nuances of the real world. And this escapist are...well they are morphed into this cyber devil without emotions. so thats what we will ever get online.

Rahul... in City of Dreamz said...

Totally agree with you. . I thought bloggin was all about expressing yourself and reading others expressions! Its supposed to be a stress.buster . . At least for me it is! What i wanna say is. .if we give it more importance than it deserves. . This is what will happen. Lets keep it as a part of our lives. . Not our life itself!

anonme said...

hey there sneha..
very well phrased! :)
thats all i can say!
i make my own paradise and this is wat its to me..

:: Clouds :: said...

With due respects to this blog entry of yours, I shall boss you around to do the tag.
And if you don't, I shall NAG you. So do it.

:P

RADhika said...

very well said... it is not a place to crib about a person's comment or a blog.. it;s a virtula world..so everything is virtual...

vEENs said...

We all have to look out for ourselves.

Let's play it easy.

right.. but I am glad I am with friends like you.. who I would LOVE to know more ;)

but then I have seen lots of madness.. but then when I am in it.. i will deal with it.. but till then... I am safe.. and so r u :)

Alok said...

Agreed.
But there's a lot to learn here, about how I think and how others think. It has helped me test and refine my principles.
Hence I blog.

Sam said...

well said.... and a very apt analogy!!

Neeku said...

after reading your post ... i feel like we are all Miss. Red Riding hood... trying to stay away from wolves... say it in Bloggerville or real life...

But then can't stop enjoying ourselves... we gotta find our way out and ... or should i say frolick our way happily..

singing.."tra la la la la la" (okay that was bit too much !) But seriously .. we can't allow these wolves to scare us away... and we need to let them too... we do recognize them in the Grandma outfit... and tell them they look ugly in them ...and on top of that it dosen't scare us :)(So Boo yaa! To those skunks)

Yours Dearly,
Eternal Optimist Cheerful Neeku (Today!)+(with her morning chai :)!)

Cosmic Joy said...

Very nicely put. The one thing I would add is that the same symptoms and solutions are applicable in real life situations. One has to learn and deal with them in a similar manner.

Preetilata【ツ】 said...

omg m here 4 d 1st time and...it seems that this topic is ruling our blogervile at present.

well phrased.

may all this end soon.

tc :)

Mansi Trivedi said...

Loved what you wrote. My friend Arun thought my blog is too goody goody. I thought his is too negative. So he challenged me. Actually we challenged each other. He asked me to write a negative post on the same topic and he looked at it positively. We talked about how we felt. I hated mine. I am the exact opposite of what i portrayed on mine. Done. never doing it again.
check it out
www.three-wings.blogspot.com

But i agree with you totally. Blogosphere is the subset of the bigger picture. People are mean. But I think we have certain responsibility of cleaning it up. Bring the sun up. Clear the gray clouds.

What do you think?

Solitaire said...

@ Sameera, I would like to turn a blind eye to the nastiness in blogosphere because to me, there is so much nastiness going around in the rest of the world, that to ignore it would be the best thing to do. I do not think its pitiful. I think it is rational. Thanks for the edits. The story is now clear.

@ Ceedy, me too! Seems like people have made the internet their life. Its pretty sad.

@ That was it. :)

Solitaire said...

@ Ashu, all that I say...each to his own. Freedom of speech is something that we are beginning to abuse on blogosphere.

@ The keeper, the virtual world is forbidden fruit.

@ Nik, thanks!!

@ Bubbles, the sad truth is that people do not realize these squabbles are petty. They like to make mountains out of a molehill. If things are smooth, people like to complicate things. DRAMA!

Solitaire said...

@ Impressionist, maybe you should. I am considering one myself!

@ Keshi, thanks gal!

@ Ghost particle, sad state of affairs, isnt it?

@ Rahul, for you and me it is a stress buster. For others, it is life, or so it seems!

Solitaire said...

@ Anonme, as long as it stays a paradise, who cares..right?

@ Clouds, DONE!

@ Radhika, for those who have tried to escape the real world, virtual becomes real.

@ Veens, aww..what a nice thing to hear!! Keep swimming in the shallow end.

Solitaire said...

@ Alok. One day someone is going to create an issue about your principles on blogosphere. People just cannot let be.

@ Sam, thanks!

@ Neeku, arey waah! Nice to see you like this.

@ Cosmic, true! There is a parallel process going on.

Solitaire said...

@ Preetilata, it will not. Maybe the people will change. The situations won't. Not in real life. Not in blogosphere.

@ Mansi, in trying to clear the gray clouds, people are introducing thunder and lightning..and now its storming!!

Deepali said...

When I heard about a rape on second life, I kept thinking that we had the opportunity to live in a virtual world (at least for a few hours everyday) that could have been perfect - free of everything that was bad in the real world but then I realized that it's not possible because people will be people. Who they really are is who they really are irrespective of where they are.

Anurag said...

if all of us could think before talking so many conflicts would be resolved

however, thinking long before talking would take away the feelings aspect of the conversation

double edged sword i say :o)

rOhit said...

After all its "Blah-go-sphere"
This ain't changing. :)

divya said...

blogosphere a swimming pool :P

no comments :P

anuj said...

well yes .. it is a virtual wrld.. bt thn it depends on how a persons wrld revolves arnd him .. does he have a lot of social life in the real wrld .. or does he try to find a bit of social life virtually .. or probably relate to ppl which he might not do in reality ..

I guess its like finding a way ..whichevr way it helps a person .. really or virtually ..

And thts quite an irony .. evryone writes a lot of stuff .. and many a times people dnt evn knw the purpose behind the writing .. it cud b hidden or evident .. and mostly people dnt get it ..

and yup I have believed the same too .. it is easier to say things here/online thn it is to use the mouth n frame things in to words ..

maverick said...

well...i think this is something tht people will grow into...u cant really help it much...everyone takes time to adjust...

its just like learning to swim..wen u r swimming...u do collide with the other learners..some laugh abt it..some crib abt it...but in the end ppl do learn swimming so..

cheerS!!

Solitaire said...

@ Deepali, hey but you have a point. People cannot be raped virtually. Although morphing is bad and only done in the virtual world.

@ Anurag, good luck figuring that out.

@ Rohit, yep right. So the sooner people get used to it, the better it is.

Solitaire said...

@ Divya, why why? Gimme a comment.

@ Anuj, if people are here to build social contacts, so be it. But they tend to forget that the problems that exist in face-to-face relationships can crop up in the virtual world.

@ Maverick, well I hope the cribbers do it soon!!

S said...

Hmmmmmmm

Why dont u consider it as ocean??
Nw thats some what contrdictory... u know u are drowning but nt in ocean but swimming pool...hw does it helps??

This is virtual world but... vreated by us, the way we like it... and remebr in world we could drown at nay point...so this applies to virtaual world as well..:-))

Chakoli

Sweetstickychewy said...

Great post here.

We can't expect someone to be our life guards. We are our own i feel.

Cheers!

Mez said...

Solitaire ans the polls on my blog n leave ur comment for my latest post.

Satish Bolla said...

A thumbs-up to you and ur post. I know some people who only interact with others in the blogosphere and remain a mum in their real life. Orkut is the best example for such virtual lives and their impact on you.
Btw, are there any casualties unknown to us?????
And hey, I don't know till date that ur name is Sneha. Very bad....

Mampi said...

If anonymity and distance gives us freedom, we should be more responsible. Blogging is not only about mud-slinging, or venom-spitting, its about constructive writing and criticism.
Agree with your points here.