Saturday, July 26, 2008

Bad Women Drivers?

I recently saw SEX and the CITY..twice! Needless to say, I loved it. The first time I went with a few girlfriends. The second time I coaxed a guy friend to come with me. He agreed...reluctantly. On the D-day, he called me and said, "Will I be the only guy there?". I could almost feel him breaking out in a sweat. I laughed and said, "No. There will be many other guys there who may have come to look at the beautiful audience, if not the movie." I knew he was not assured but he decided to be nice and come anyway. Right before the movie began, his friend called and asked him what he was doing. Quite embarrassed, he told him where he was. His friend chuckled and said, "Tum ladkiyon wala kaam karo. Kal baat karte hai". (You do what's meant for women. We will talk tomorrow).

I was irritated at his friend. My friend was irritated at me. I decided to keep mum but the train of thoughts continued. Why? Why is there an assumption that men will not like the movie? When I told my friend about the several husbands who have stated that they enjoyed the movie, he managed to grunt, "They only said that to make their wives happy". I felt like he had already assumed that he would not like the movie and felt that he was not giving it a chance!

Why do we stereotype genders so much? Why do we assume that certain behaviors are appropriate only for one gender and not the other? Why do we expect certain behaviors from one gender and not the other? And if God forbid, the opposite gender acts in a way that they are not supposed to, they are teased, poked fun at, and ridiculed until they pray for the skies to fall on them. Why?

  • Why do people assume that all women are bad drivers?
  • Why do people assume that all men make good engineers?
  • Why are women expected to be good cooks?
  • Why are men expected to be more practical and less emotional?
  • Why are women expected to be less aggressive?
  • Why are men forgiven for infidelity just because they are "born that way"?

These are only a few of the stereotypes that we hold in our minds when thinking about a particular gender. I am sure there are a lot more "should"s and "must"s and "have to be"s in our minds. Whether we began thinking like that because that's what we observed in the world around us, or picked it up from adults during our childhood, or saw it on TV, is altogether another issue. But I do know that we were not born with these ideas and thoughts. I also know that we do see many examples of those who do not appear to fit these stereotypes. In an effort to comfort our confused minds, we end up saying, "Oh they must be an exception" to ourselves.

Look carefully. How many women do you know who are good cooks? How many men do you know who are cheats? Are you an exception or a stereotype? Or is the exception actually the norm? And the stereotype just a silly error, a quirk, a human tendency? Do we really have to stereotype? Do we really have to attribute people with certain traits just because they are men or women? Can we not just see them as UNIQUE INDIVIDUALS? Can we not accept them the way they are?

Maybe we can...if we try harder.

Oh, and those, who still believe that women are bad drivers, you might wanna read this.

144 Words of Wisdom:

Ghost Particle said...

* Why do people assume that all women are bad drivers?

This will definitely be solved by the high gas prices.

* Why do people assume that all men make good engineers?

huh! coz...hum? I dont know...i dont know many guy engineers as well...

* Why are women expected to be good cooks?

Coz they dont overdo on the masala and salt.

* Why are men expected to be more practical and less emotional?

coz we are jst zombies...yeh.

* Why are women expected to be less aggressive?

dowanna hurt ur hand hitting us.

* Why are men forgiven for infidelity just because they are "born that way"?

talk about rubber bullets...sigh.

Urv said...

First of all, did your friend like the movie? :)

As far as cooking goes, quite a lot of good chefs in the world are men :D

PS: You've been tagged

Solitaire said...

@ Urv,

Do you think after that conversation BEFORE the movie, he would be honest with me? I am not sure whether he did or not but he told me he did not!

Men being the best chefs is such an irony in a world where women are expected to play this huge role in their own kitchens!

As for the tag, kari lidhu chhe ae..long time ago!

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

1) What do you mean?

2) You don't? That's because you are not in India!

3) OK! Serious?

4) Ok good! At least you admitted that. But that still is a stereotype!

5) Aww!


Lena said...

thats true we all are victims of gender stereotypes, and no matter how much is talked about it, it is not changing!!

Monika,Ansh said...

so true.......i am victim myself coz i cannot cook at all!!

lukkydivz said...

i cant drive, i cant cook, i am more aggressive i haven't watched the movie!!!

Deepti said...

So true ... and let me add to this .. why are men so unlikely to ask for directions saying its women who do it and go round and round not knowng the way .. why are women supposed to be "Fair , slim and beautiful " and for menlooks dont matter ...
I have heard this stereotyping so often when I say I love soccer.."Girls and sports??" thats the usual reaction ....
great post :)( as usual)

Southpaw unplugged said...

Well i never considered women were bad drivers till i landed in ahmedabad a few years back...since then i always bear in mind that...

Khaali rickshaw....
inse hamesha bachke chalo...

Hiren said...

Why do girls don't like cricket ??? :-p

Urv said...

I dunno know about him but I would have admitted if I liked the movie. I don't see anything wrong in that.. Khair, sab ki apni apni vichaar dhara hoti hai..

Vrij said...

There are some things that men or women cant do.. well, its not that every man or woman cant do but then its a sort of generalisation.. like women are bad drivers. Yes, most are! Same goes with men cooking.. not all men are bad, but most are. These generalisations turn into stereotypes over a period of time.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Interesting analysis.

Gender bias is a drag that has always been,and will always be.

When any of my friends come up with such annoying wisecracks,I do make it a point to give them a piece of mind :P

Have a good weekend!

Anonymous said...

you know what, I saw that movie the first day it released bunking office! I simply loved it... nd there were enough guys in the theatre if i remember correctly..
But somehow I feel I wouldnt have enjoyed it with a guy, coz it bought a lot of deja vus nd...'remeber that time' expressions which made th movie even more enjoyable!

:) :)

Solitaire said...

@ Sameera,

Is Vrij your friend? You might wanna read his comment here.

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,

They don't? I used to until I came to the US.

Solitaire said...

@ Urv,

Yeah..SOME men have ego problems. Notice, I did not say all. ;)

Solitaire said...

@ Southpaw,

Now now now. That IS a generalization. Truly. Can ALL women drivers in Ahmedabad be bad? I have heard about the same about Bangalore too. And someone else will come say that about some other city that they have lived in.

Solitaire said...

@ Lukky,

Then you need to write all that in BOLD here.

Solitaire said...

@ Monika,

And do people look at you funny when you say that?

Solitaire said...

@ Lena,


zahid said...

Well, without stereotypes the world will be a lot complex. Imagine that everything had to be thought and redefined everytime. Wouldn't that be a waste of precious time.

Dont know how far I am valid but I think stereotypes are passe'
Especially engineer types !!! :P

Deepti said...

Soli... the "guys" was a general term I used on the blog .. please do comment :)

AmitL said...

ROFL..Sol,believe me,it takes time for realities to sink in.Like,I definitely wouldn't mind seeing Sex and the City,either the serial or the movie(With or without a lady..hehe)..for this particular case,it must've been his age group.

I mean,see,in the teenage years,guys first feel shy of gals,then,they begin feeling a bit attracted,then,they want to act macho,so,anything ladylike is looked at as taboo by them,and something to poke fun at by others.

But,yes,many times,society does play a big role in stereotypes,like,guys must become engineers,girls must know how to cook,et al.But,again,I definitely feel that these stereotypes do seem to to be going away,slowly but surely.And,isn't that something to be happy about?:)

aqua gurl said...

btw i loved the movie too. So when i went to see it, the show had no guys at all.

I don;t cook(as of yet) and I am aggressive. I don;t drive yet, but i somewhere feel, I'll be good at it.

Again, lovely post!!

Solitaire said...

@ Deepti,

**why are men so unlikely to ask for directions saying its women who do it and go round and round not knowng the way.


**why are women supposed to be "Fair , slim and beautiful "

Not anymore, now it can be dark too but SLIM AND BEAUTIFUL remains!

**I have heard this stereotyping so often when I say I love soccer.."Girls and sports??" thats the usual reaction ....

And Hiren wants to know why girls don't like cricket!!? You wanna tell him something?

Ghost Particle said...

1) women are bad drivers. so no way of actually changing that stereo. there are very bad male drivers as well, but women holding the no 1 spot means, this guys are vindicated. damn.. :D

3) well yeh maybe...i dunno. as much as men can be the best chef in the world, women are always better cooks. that's why we go back home to eat proper food. not display food.

i have no idea why i said that for the last one...i think if we get more women judges and then bring all infidel men to court. then the stereotype will b gone.

La vida Loca said...

women are good in languages. Men are for math. WOmen are for family practice, pediatrics, OBGYN..but surgery, orthodontics...ahh thats a man's field!

Solitaire said...

@ Vrij,

**There are some things that men or women cant do**

I agree. A man cannot give birth for example. But years ago, we had never imagine women driving buses or being weightlifters. But now they are. How so?

**like women are bad drivers. Yes, most are!
How do you know? Have you met and seen most women in this world? Did you read the article that I have linked to the post?

**Same goes with men cooking.. not all men are bad, but most are.

Then how come all the best chefs in the world are men?

Solitaire said...

@ Preetha,

Do you know why there were no guys in the movie? Maybe just like my friend, they were not willing to give the movie a chance? Don't we go watch The Dark Knight and Incredible Hulk?

Keshi said...

Assumptions and generalisations r a many, abt both men and women. Unfortunately, thats the way the world is.

Then again, it's just assumptions. We CAN be/do anything we r gifted to do/be, irrespective of our gender. It's individuality that I look at..not gender. But thats just me. Others may have different opinions on it.

Good post.


Neeku said...

@ Sol: interesting analysis ! got me thinking...

@ Hiren: I LOVE CRICKET ! so there you go another stereotypical assumption ! Why to guys think that women would be irritated with sports !

vasanth said...

A the cost being accused of being "cliched" and trite, I would repeat that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. Physiologically, hormonally, emotionally, anatomically in every conceivable way they are different. Dont they bear babies which men can't ( at least not yet though I read in IHT a strange case of a woman turned man who had his(her)ovaries and uterus intact and fathered/mothered a child for his wife who had issues from earlier marriage and then became infertile)

It is not only in homo sapiens, in every species the female is different from the male ( and often referred to as the deadlier of the two)

There is a difference and as the Frenchman said "Vive la difference" !!!

Deepti said...

@hiren : Maybe you never met girls who do :)

Mampi said...

Solitaire, I dont remember how I jumped over to your page, maybe from Deepti's or,, i dont remember how. But I m happy I did, I will return for more.
About this post, yes it is all societal stereotyping, and all men's doing because it suited THEM.
I could suggest a few titles on Gender and Women, in case you want to.
Keep it up.

Southpaw unplugged said...

Genuinely true experiences lady!

# In the building's parking, even though there used to be enough space to steer their car in their stipulated space still they managed to dent my car endlessly. When i countered them, i always got lousy reasons and since they didnt mind the dents on their car, i shudnt mind as well.

# During operations, even though the car is parked completely out of the road still one of them managed to bang it, fall on top of my hood and cry endlessly as if i asked her to do the miserable stunt.

# Year 2006, heavy overnight rains following the next day in ahmedabad, by afternoon ppl were trying to get back to their homes, offices started to get closed and there i find one of them in the middle of the road with her car down since there was water abt 3ft on the road, coz of her i had to risk my car on neutral keeping one of my shoe on the accelerator so that it doesnt stops due to water in the silencer and go out to help her push her car on the side, while doing that when i casually asked her was she going home from office or college, the reply i got was horrible. She came out of her house to enjoy dalwadas near IIM, i said teri bhais ko bhopal le jau...ppl r trying their best to reach home safely n here u see 3ft and more water on the road and acnt handle ur car and want dalwadas?

The list is endless...and only after that i decided to form that opinion abt them. Otherwise my wife's a good driver we always share the load equally when we go for long distance travel by car...

Solitaire said...

@ Southpaw,

OK OK!! At least spare the ahmedabadis today. Poor them. They are in so much distress right now.

Solitaire said...

@ Mampi,

Oh thank you!! It will be my pleasure to have you here.

Sigh stereotyping! When will it end?

Solitaire said...

@ Vasanth,

Granted there are differences. But that does not mean that all women and all men need to be clumped together.

For example, there ARE some women who are bus drivers. There ARE some men who are nurses. Yet, when we try to envision these professions, we will always think of a male as a bus driver and woman as a nurse.

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku,

Nice one!!


Hai koi jawab iske liye and Deepti ke liye?

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi,

And that's how its supposed to be. Looking at individuality is the fairest thing we can do rather than assume that someone will behave a certain way just because they are of a certain gender.

Solitaire said...

@ La Vida,

So sad na? And yet Shakuntala Devi who was a genius at math is a woman!

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost,

Maybe women are better cooks because they are expected to know it and shoved into the kitchen ever since they can remember? Maybe if we did the same with men, we would see that there are no differences.

Solitaire said...

@ Aqua,

Tcch tcch..

Not a typical woman? You are doomed!

Hiren said...

arey baap re ... seems like my statement has invited a lot of ire out here and that too of girls [no no I am not getting gender biased here :)] that’s not what I did like :)

first of all let me clarify that my comment was just a playful reply (guess you all missed the :-p) directed to Solitaire ... as she points out my sport fanaticism often :)

So, sorry ladies; if my stmt has added fuel to the ongoing debate here and enraged you all even more :)

@Solitaire – did you? Cool … why did you stop following it after going to US?

@Neeku – good to know u like cricket; a couple of my female friends do too and its fun discussing cricket with them (and irritating them sometimes :)] ... but still I think majority of girls don’t like cricket ... especially when it comes to wives :) a few of my married cricket colleagues have hard times sparing 4-5 hours on a weekend to play cricket :) they have learnt the art of cajoling now :)

@Deepti – yea, u are right there ... i haven’t met many gurls who do like cricket (or any sports for that matter) ... most of them would watch the game only out of compulsion since their dad/bros would not leave the tv :)

Peace !!!

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,

HHAHHAH! Majha padi!

Well the reason why I lost interest in cricket after coming here was

1) lack of time
2) lack of access to the matches
3) Odd hours when access was available
4) as the team changed and newer people came in, it was no longer as exciting.

I LOVED AZHAR. And when he was gone, my love for cricket too started diminishing. :(

Hiren said...

maja padi ... :-) saaru ...

you can start following it again ... there are a lot of new young and smart players [hot too .. as per a few of my female friends :)]

odd hours ??? i dont think that is a prob for you at all :) ... i see ur posts, replies on your blog at the unearthiest hours :)

Azhar was a fine player.

btw you ask questions and then disappear ... check out my answers to your questions on i guess last 3-4 on QQ ...

vishesh said...

hmm...its funny,but there have been a lot of times when i have been the only guy around...i don't mind that,in fact i feel pretty comfie :)

Aneesh said...

These could be based on the majority. 'N As always there will be exceptions.

You have lot of questions and I don't have answers for all. You mentioned about expecting/assuming!! why women/men are expected/assume to be

it is us who do these assumptions, if we can change, so can these assumptions.

Princess Mia said...

i absolutely loved the movie gal, i have always liked sex n teh city n guess wat i had my guy friends come with me to watch the movie n they quite liked it as well.

well i still dunno why do we stereotype, infact i hope to find some answers here ;)

Alok said...

I am a silent (not regular) reader of your blogs. Ah! Looks like you are picking my favorite topics :), I was checking your other blogs.

There maybe not an exact answers for the 'why(s)?' you have asked here. But surely it shows there are some people who follow some others just like that. I can say they are great followers to an extend they forget who they are following? Perhaps it the easiest thing on their part and there is something more beyond gender that plays a significant role in stereotype.

I guess everyone here is a stereotype someway or other. Now, coming to the point ‘why bad women drivers?’ I think you have one of the answers with you in a comment to Hiren’s reply on another blog (I don’t read all the comments but somehow it was coincident).

"Anyway, I think boys are always more tolerant than girls with it comes to petty issues and resolving problems. I would have a boy roommate any day."

And that’s where many people end up with assumptions and generalizing something without a stand.

Frankly, I have my own experiences that says women are equally better drivers as men (and that’s not an exception, thanks to those driving schools and probably their male friends ;) ) but again I don’t supported with data or any analysis its just my take.

I guess human behavior or actions are manytimes out of prediction (A great story would be the movie called Minority Report). What makes the difference is the sheer attitude while driving your vehicle or life.

P.S : Thanks for reading such a big comment :)

Ankur said...

well, i believe in the 1st one, i have seen instances, coz when i go back home i see a new mark on the car, and its all due to my lovely sister!! :P

nik said...

bad drivers? - coz they are!

good engineers? - coz they are!

good cooks? - about time they got good at something!

more practical and less emotional? - coz they are out in the real world!

less aggressive? - coz they spend all their time in the kitchen!

forgiven for infidelity? - coz of the caveman mentality in their genes!

Disclaimer- These are opinions of a true 20th century MCP retard, but at-least he had fun penning it down. :)

nik said...

oh btw ... i'm a huge follower of Sex & the City, Brothers & Sisters, Desperate Housewives.

Does your list of stereotypes categorize me as a metro-sexual?

Pujan said...

lot of flaws here...hmm...list sometime later in evening.

Solitaire said...

@ Nik,

We have to ask the audience what they would think of a man like you!?

Solitaire said...

@ Nik,

YAY! Nik is back with his MCP comments and to make my temper flare up momentarily.

Solitaire said...

@ Pujan,

Flaws in?

Solitaire said...

@ Ankur,

Then how about saying, "My lovely sister is a bad driver!" instead of saying "All women are bad drivers"?

Solitaire said...

@ Alok,

Welcome irregular silent reader. :)

As I told someone (coincidentally Hiren), the length of the comment does not matter as does the sense in it.

*****"Anyway, I think boys are always more tolerant than girls with it comes to petty issues and resolving problems. I would have a boy roommate any day."

And that’s where many people end up with assumptions and generalizing something without a stand.

I take offense to the words "without a stand". I might not have a 100% flawless stand but I have lived with roommates for ten years now, both boys and girls and therefore, have a fair amount of experience (3650 days) with that. So maybe you made an assumption that I do not have a stand. If someone had an accident with a woman (I mean auto accident to all those whose pervert minds started going haywire) with 3650 days constantly, I would also take no offense to them saying "all women are bad drivers".

Well, if you click on the link at the end of the post, you will find data that supports your conclusion of women being better drivers than men.

Oh BTW, your comment inspired me to write another post. I hope you will be back to read it. Thank you! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Princess,

Did you find the answers here? I think not many are giving answers. Just saying its a sorry state. :(

Kudos to your guy friends who admitted they liked the movie.

Solitaire said...

@ Aneesh,

Correct! My question is.."why are we not changing". I think the answer lies in Alok's comment. He says that we like to follow. I guess we need a good leader to change our attitude.

Solitaire said...

@ Vishesh,

Good for you!

Solitaire said...

@ Hiren,

Haha! The reason you see me online at odd hours now is cos I am done with school work!! So I can wake up whenever I want!! I dunno if I can go back to cricket again, though.

Alok said...

Oooops! I am extremely sorry for using that word immediately after your cut/paste comment. Seems you are miss-taken with that, ‘without a stand’ is used for those blind followers :) I hope it clears the air. FYI, I have nothing to assume on anybody here.

And yes, I have already gone through the link but due you really think coming up with a study where “someone would require proving that now days men are not driving safe will prove women are good drivers”?

I don’t believe in the idea in life to follow something called ‘prove by contradiction’; these articles/data supported nowhere mentioned the details but a brief (maybe true for a group or a part but not completely), take an example they don’t talk about the stress men was undergoing while driving etc.., I guess such things are also important to consider. I don’t see any points in such data to convey a larger picture (where people generalizing things).

P.S: Learning skills (e.g. driving) require patience & effort not that gender plays any role. Then why most of the analysis on this topic revolves around only gender specific data? Which maybe due to keep the debate ON where people can easily engage. Like the example you have mentioned. Is it really hard to understand that there can be other factors also ?

Alok said...

Don’t you think the analysis and research like this are also become stereotype? I see a big difference how it’s shrinking to one corner of the table. I know a greater effort is what required when these things actually need to take into account - the learning and adopted it for a cause rather than keeping them in safe confidential sheets.

P.S : I was wondering what would be your next post? I can plan consolidating my comments and take the research topic (plus local factors) for a post in my other blog / analyis (hahahaha!)

Southpaw unplugged said...

Yeah i know i heard that on saturday night...:(

nik said...


thank you (applause in the background) .. thank you ladies and gentlemen.

anything to throw the author off her game! (toothy evil grin follows)

Cosmic Joy said...

Why did you go to see the movie a second time ?

naaishtam said...

What u said is true.
I think that the situation is better than in the past and it will be still become better in the future.

naaishtam said...

what u said is true.
But I think that the situation is better than in past and it will get lot better in future

Karthik S said...

I saw SATC and I loved it.

For all your question, people were right... but twenty years back.

Its just carried over.

Deepali said...

It's all generalization and labeling. It won't ever go away -I mean the concept. Some labels will disappear but new ones will emerge. And it will stay that way till majority of people decide this is something they don't want. But again no matter how much you try you look at something and associate it with something. It's a human tendency.

Metrosexual Monk said...

because women hold the most powerful secret weapon - they themselves.
because women get away easily on making sexual remarks, whereas the other is beaten up, put on a sex offender's list, and thrown into jail.
because sexist pseudo-feminists often end up making a fool out of themselves.

"Other studies have found that the hippocampus, involved in short-term memory and spatial navigation, is also proportionally larger in women than in men"
Says a study by researchers from Harvard Medical School so, chill.

and learn blame it on the hormones.
taps not working? hormones.
too hot outside? hormones.

good driving? hormones.

bad driving? hormones again.

all hail inevitable stereotypism.

KP! said...

everyone is generalized in someway or the other.

As i hear from so many people...
Gujjus are cheap:)

Americans are party animals and they dont know what they are lost!!

Everyone is victime of some type of stereotyping!!!

Anonymous said...

This was a great post.. I think I just always go by the lil song...

Anything you can do I can do better!!

I grew up with a lot of guys so whatever they did I made sure I was able to do it better! yea I was a competitor, but I had to prove to them I could do it.. they always said, it is gonna be hard because you are a gal! hahaha! NOPE! I am going to do it better than you! just watch!

women are excellent drivers!! oh and ummm DID he at least like the movie Sol!! It was Dynamite!! I love SITC!!!!


Anurag said...

yup...we all live in stereotypes...
i beleive in one way or the other

i might not have a "woman are bad drivers" stereotype...but am sure will have some other stereotype

its maybe because of our surroundings n our level of exposure, interaction etc

ceedy said...

I guess the word says it all "stereo" - the sound is always better that way - so there will be differences - and then there will be the process of making good...whereas if everything is accepted and agreed then life will be "mono" - could get boring...

certain stereotypes are bad but then one has to learn to just live by them...

and think about it...if everyone agrees to the would you have written an interesting post?

sorry havent been around so late at reading the blog...

Mansi Trivedi said...

I love this post. I hate hate hate it when people generalize. But Sneha, you know what, that just means they have never met the right ones. Their bad. right? they can stay where they are, ignorant and ranty, we can be where we are brilliant and fabulous!

Cheers to that!

Mansi Trivedi said...

start twittering. its good

jitendra said...

jai ho naari-mukti devi!

maybe it has got something to do with stats. btw, you ask too many questions in your blog. uska reply kaun karega, psychologistni?

ps: i commented on 'the party'.

Pavi!!!! said...

yes..u have a point..But i remember in another post of urs u made this statement abt stereotypes... that stereotypes have a ring of truth to them,tho they don't apply to every1, which is the reason why they exist.

I absolutely agree to that there is ur xplanation.
n for better cooks..nooooooo its men who are the better cooks! Most chefs in restaurants will be male..haven't u noticed??? The prob in this area is this assumption that it is a women's job to cook at home!

I want to watch SATC agn :(((. BTW V thot the movie was "alrite", gladly he din't behave like a typical guy..cribbin n ranting as he went in or got out frm the movie :)

Pujan said...

The Flaws are very general.

Humans are whiny. Their logic or derivatives come from observations or repeated observations.

What I find a major flaw here is acceptance of "Generalization" based on facts.Tomorrow people would justify terrorism as means of getting justice what they believe is true. That would be disaster. One has to accept common goods or bads/generalizations/assumptions to start with. Otherwise you are falling in too liberal zone where you really see nothing wrong in this world. Like still some people would say Global warming is not real. i would say they are not real. We are aware of issues around us. they are factually correct.

Yes Agreed that there are stupid and dumb derivatives of individuals too. If it does not make sense then we all do ignore it. It is also fact that certain gender do have certain capabilities in certain area. To state example. i can say Men would never able to beat nurturing skills of Women. they are best because they are internally very well connected with emotions and life inside them(biologically-9 months). Same can be said about men in physical work being muscular aspects of personality. Morality of men being physical is something very different here.

So I would be most willing to accept based on our general perceptions that each gender would come with inherent limitations. That being said We could always have exceptions and that we love to accept as well because those(men or women) who beat the barrier would be with exceptional qualities.

So i would say this blog is assuming a lot while generalizing a lot. Example is : i don't say women are bad drivers. I am a male and women i know are very good drivers. same time i would sure say that they are prone to make more accidents because of their habits of doing make-up while driving. that scares me like hell. those are irresponsible individuals.

We make generalizations and assumptions. It would be great to accept and digest the real ones(factual ones).

Nirmal said...

r men 4given 4 infidility...???

thanks 4 giving me hopes...


Mel Avila Alarilla said...

I never believe in steriotyping. There's such thing as the uniqueness of an individual. There may be traits that are prevalent in one sex but that does not mean we should associate those traits to any particular sex. We are now witnessing the changing of our cultures and perspectives in life so much so that almost all works are now being pursued by all sexes. Thanks for the relevant post. God bless.

Suma said...

well written...and brought back a a few unpleasant comments i had heard growing up....

unfortunately its all about mindsets...and changing that will be a herculean task...becasue it generally follows the herd mentality..what one says , teh others follow...

hopefully your post has changed a few mindsets here...

Idling in Top Gear said...

Since I blog anonymously, I can admit that I like Sex and the City :) - at least before it became all sitcom-y for the last couple of seasons.

Tarun said...

I think thats the sterotypes are set on observations that have been made over a period of time.
In the set of questions u listed replace all by most and the pitcure does get clearer.
I must confess not all men are good engineers, most of them are but all of them are not. :)

Ash said...

So true!
Loved the movie Sex and the city. Me went with a bunch of guys and gal-pals and everyone LOVED it :-)

Thanks for visiting my blog!

Swati said...

Good questions answers ..sigh !

Pinku said...

ok...a very simple answer...we use stereotypes to label people into recognisable types.

what i mean is we assume that someone whom we have just met and looks like a man must actually be a good driver and very handy with tools.

It helps us see people in an environment which we are familiar with.

till this point its actually fine.
where the problem arises is when we expect people to stick to those stereotypes in our heads.

thats when we need to knock ourselves and say 'hey thats me thinking doesnt mean thats the truth.'

Romila said...

Interesting analysis n interesting comments here too.

We infact are victims of sterotypes and yes, as for the movie, my husband had wanted to see it with me. But unfortunately, we couldn't.

Abhishek Khanna said...

i dun believe on such surveys..i have practially seeing them driving in the middle of the road at 20kmph, nt giving space to other traffic to pass by.. banging at other cars while looking at the gal cuddling a guy in the next car.. standing in between and causing huge traffic jams coz they are nt able to start thr vehicles when the signal turns gree..!!phew
these are just a few i can write a book about it.. all personal experiences of what i see everyday morning n evening on the way to ofc
it is a fact that women really are bad drivers.. :P

Trinaa said...

unfortunately i AM a bad driver.. booo hooo.. :((

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

i absolutely agree... I have a lot of guy friends and we get into these arguments all the time... and honestly, the guy who stereotypes too much and cant handle these things cannot remain my friend for long... and same goes for such girls.

Vandita said...

hey im a good engineer, loads of ppl have told me that and i know a lot of guys who're interested in cookin and can manage well, i know loads of my girl frnds who drive really well.
basically not all stereotypes hold...infact very few do nowadays

maverick said...

well i dont think all women are bad drivers...but not sure how good they are at it too...though i have come across some really good drivers too :)

Chester said...

HapiBlogging to you my friend! Have a nice day!

Vinz aka Vinu aka Vinayak said...

its not stereotyping solitaire..

as far as my experiance is concerned,

1. Woman are never bad drivers. But they are more cautious that makes a mess on roads, especially in India, where the road infrastructure are not that the way my sister is a good driver..!!

2. Engineers-mm...i do have a lot of 'girl-friends' who did engineering..but dont know many of them settled now as housewives..and many settle with the first jobs they got...
so, since the numbers are less, its generalised that men do make gud engineers..and to prove it wrong, no major inventions are brought up by woman..!!

3. Thats a past story i guess...atleast that notion is changing...but again as my previous point stated, its the numbers that shows..earlier men never used to try cooking..and these days they are coming with such 'happenings'..and they are well showing off too..!!so 10 yr down the line, i dont think no one will say men dont cook..!!

4.there genes are ought to be structured in such a way..somewhere i had read its because the brain spheres..

5. again, the anatomy...ntgmore to say..

6. mm...becasue men were dominating those days..and woman never raised their voice..and now things are changing..these generalisations too will change..!!


Trinaa said...

u hv been blogrolled.. :)

Hammy said...

Stereotypes are never going to just fade away. In fact, some stereotypes DO make sense. But it is important to remember that they do not cover the whole field. When I say that people from Kerala, India, loves food with coconut in it, it is a good thing to know. But it does not mean that everyone from Kerala would share that trait.

People assume that the movie is meant for girls because it seems to be focused on chit chat on fashion and shopping to some extent. Personally, I didn't watch the Sex and the City movie because I didn't find the series interesting - Not my cup of tea.

Women are not cursed with a driving handicap based on their gender alone. We come from a long line of patriarchic society, where women's liberation is still a comparatively recent phenomenon. At one point in time, women were not 'required' to drive, and hence the emphasis of proper instructions were lower for them, resulting in poorer skills - AT THAT TIME. Women have come a long way from that age, but apparently the notion still persists.

And stereotyping movie audience by gender happens both ways, by the way... This old write-up of mine shows what I mean... I hope.

Nice post, btw...

Solitaire said...

@ Hammy,

**In fact, some stereotypes DO make sense.

I know that stereotypes have a grain of truth to them.

**But it is important to remember that they do not cover the whole field.

Precisely!! Cannot generalize.

**Women have come a long way from that age, but apparently the notion still persists.

Very true and great insight!

**Nice post, btw...

Thank you!

Solitaire said...

@ Trinaa,

Thank you!! You being a bad driver does not make all women bad drivers!

Solitaire said...

@ vinu,

***Its not stereotyping solitaire..

Then what is it Vinu? :)

**by the way my sister is a good driver..!!


**no major inventions are brought up by woman..!!

I did not know engineers invented!!

**i dont think no one will say men dont cook..!!

Will see about that!

**there genes are ought to be structured in such a way..somewhere i had read its because the brain spheres..

"ought to be"??

5. again, the anatomy...ntgmore to say..

**mm...becasue men were dominating those days..and woman never raised their voice..and now things are changing..these generalisations too will change..!!

So they ARE generalizations, right?


P said...

Very good post Solitaire! I totally agree with you. I keep protesting in my daily life whenever people make such assumptions and comments, but doesn't seem to make much change.

Solitaire said...

@ P,

It will some day. Keep plugging at it. :)

Solitaire said...

@ Chester,

Thanks! You too!

Solitaire said...

@ Maverick,

Phew! That's a confusing statement!

Solitaire said...

@ Vandita,

Exactly what I am trying to say. Very few hold today but people still like to hold on to the age-old stereotypes!

Solitaire said...

@ Raaji,

Its funny how I see a lot of men here opposing the fact that there are stereotypes while the women are agreeing more to it. I wonder if its because women are victims to it more than men?

Solitaire said...

@ abhishek,

Well, I do not believe YOU!

Solitaire said...

@ Romila,

Cute husband! :)

Yes, we are victims and we continue to make others victims too.

Solitaire said...

@ Pinku,

Great thought! We need to wake up and start worrying about it when it starts to pose problems and build expectations.

Solitaire said...

@ Swati,

Some answers, conflicting though.

Solitaire said...

@ Ash,

Great!! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Tarun,

Yes "most" is a better word. But how many times do we remember to say that? We end up saying ALL "all" the time! ;)

Solitaire said...

@ Idling,

Haha! And if you did not, is it shameful to admit that for reasons listed in this post?

Solitaire said...

@ Suma,

I don't think they have. Either people have agreed or disagreed. No one has admitted to a an "aha" moment.

Anamika:The Sugarcrafter said...

hey solitaire
first of all thanks for passing by my blog. You know as is is averageness..meaning that the average value is taken as mean of beauty and random outliers on both side are taken as a same way..any thought process is averageness derived from the society and its the perception of a particualr society a one point of time..things are changing, arent they ? so they will and then another averagenes of perceptions will pervade...

Solitaire said...

@ Mel,

I wish everyone thought like you.

Solitaire said...

@ Nirmal,


Solitaire said...

@ Pujan,

****One has to accept common goods or bads/generalizations/assumptions to start with. Otherwise you are falling in too liberal zone where you really see nothing wrong in this world.

Its not about seeing something wrong with the world. Its about seeing something wrong with the entire group based on a few members of that group.

***To state example. i can say Men would never able to beat nurturing skills of Women. they are best because they are internally very well connected with emotions and life inside them(biologically-9 months)

In that case, a couple who is adopting a baby should both have nurturing qualities right? And yet, the mother will be expected to be nurturing. Given?

And why do you not want to talk about the morality issue?

**this blog is assuming a lot while generalizing a lot. Example is : i don't say women are bad drivers. I am a male and women i know are very good drivers. same time i would sure say that they are prone to make more accidents because of their habits of doing make-up while driving. that scares me like hell. those are irresponsible individuals.

How about talking about men who like to do birdwatching while driving? That scares the hell out of me!

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi,

Yes, they do have a grain of truth. But society evolves and apparently, mindsets don't. And the ones who happen not to fit the stereotype are supposed to be "exceptions".

Oh I have noticed very well about chefs being males. But apparently,as you said, men at home are not supposed to cook as well as their wives or even better!

Come to OHIO. Will watch SATC again with you.

Solitaire said...

@ Jitendra,

Its not just about naari mukti. There are generalizations about men too!!


Solitaire said...

@ Mansi,

"Brilliant and fabulous"..sounds like Samantha in SATC! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Haha!! Thank god for the stereotypes eh?

Solitaire said...

@ Anurag,

Not too good, is it?

Solitaire said...

@ NE,

Good for you!!!

He did not like the movie methinks. But who cares..I got to watch it a 2nd time.

Solitaire said...

@ KP,

Very true!! Marwaris are kanjoos, bengalis are smelly, punjabis are strong..etc etc.

Ankur said...


ya ya, i can saytat abt my lovely sister, par usse pitne se bachne ke liye i have to say.. :P
ki all r bad!! :D

n then ladai personal nahi hoti hai, warna usko toh mai kehta hi hoon ki tujhe gaadi chalani nahi aati hai! :P

Aaarti said...

Cool post...
There are so many things that are generalised even tho gender plays no role in them....

silly little world we live in!!
I enjoyed the movie too.. made me miss my girl friends some more!!

ceedy said...

Nah why thank god...he made us is us who seek the differences....isnt it?

Satish Bolla said...

well, am in a dilemma abt this post. heard n saw a lot of those stereotypes which u mentioned. but i really don't know whether am one of them or not. but having a lot of good friends of the opposite sex in college, i've always treated them as friends/other humans but never as a female.this is all i can say

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy,

Well then Thank God for making us this way.

Solitaire said...

@ Metrosexual,

And so I fathom that you see this post as anti-men or pro-women and not just one about generalizations in general?

Solitaire said...

@ Deepali,

Yes. Its a herd-mentality.

Solitaire said...

@ Aarti,

Exactly! Gender has nothing to do with stereotypes. Every group has its own. Its sad that some men reading this post take it personally and think its an anti-men post.

Solitaire said...

@ Satish,

Good for you!

Solitaire said...

@ Naaishtam,

I only hope so!

Solitaire said...

@ Karthik,

I wish better things got carried over!

Solitaire said...

@ Cosmic,

Why do most people watch a movie the second time?

Solitaire said...

@ Nik,

No MCP comments on the latest one? Too hi-fi for you?

Satish Bolla said...

let's b a little funny. u wrote as a reply to comment: "good for you". arey yaar, if i don't treat them that way, who'll pay for my movie tickets n bus tickets?

I'll try 2 be truthful said...

great write up i'm so happy that you wrote about the topic ( in crass language} -- im an engineer & agar any guy dare say that he's better than me , maar marr ke faluda bana dungi !!!
& am sooo sick of all the streotypes