I hope I never...

• Turn into that woman who will forget about her girlfriends when she is with her husband..
• Turn into that woman who looks more like her husband's mother than his wife..
• Turn into that woman who constantly talks about her mother-in-law's antics..
• Turn into that woman whose topic of conversation surrounds jewellery, clothes, shoes, hair, and makeup..
• Turn into that woman who will put on 60 lbs during pregnancy never to lose it back again..
• Turn into that woman who is constantly bitching about what others did to her husband..
• Turn into that woman who spends 50 dollars a week on her beauty parlor appointments..

AND

• Turn into a "typical" woman.....the one who nags, the one who has no brains, the one who cannot drive, the one who cries at the drop of a hat, the one who looks good only in the kitchen, the one who used to belong to her father and now to her husband, the one who will come back home from work and cook and keep house clean......

I am afraid I will be one of these women, one day. I am afraid I will be one of those gender-boxed women. A woman that society expects a woman to be and will then look down upon her for being that way. I am afraid that I might be snubbed for trying to be a different woman...and out-of-the-box woman. And I am afraid that no matter what I do, people will look at me as a woman...and not the woman.

Thanks, and respect women.

From the eyes of an evolving student

I HAVE REALIZED...

No matter how much I procrastinate, I always get the work done...with a few struggles and many obstacles.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, and enjoy life. What's the hurry to get it done?

That a couple B's here and there do not really affect my GPA that much.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, and enjoy life. What's the need to get an A?

That annoying people wont stop their antics no matter how much you tell them.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, and enjoy life. What's the need to give them any importance?

That depriving myself of that cheesecake that I have been craving for 2 days is only making me miserable.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, EAT CHEESECAKE, and enjoy life. What's the need to worry about the number of calories in a mere, occasional treat that can release endorphins in you?

That sacrificing watching a movie so that I can study for two hours does not work. I keep thinking about the movie anyway.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, and enjoy life. What's the importance of two hours of "pretending to study"?

That no matter how much I plan for a trip or an event during my breaks, when there are more than 2 people involved, things never go as planned.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, and enjoy life. What's the need to plan when things happen they way you dont want them to anyway!

That no matter how hard I try to hide the bitter truth, it comes out in various ways...nice or not nice...and the consequences are always bad.

Moral: Watch movies, talk on the phone, sleep, TELL THE TRUTH, and enjoy life. What's the need to lie when you will be busted at some point anyway?

Life as a student is surely not a bed of roses. Exams, roommates, finances, professors, lack of sleep, no time for groceries, the list is never ending. But we can make it seem like a no-breezer if we stop agonizing over minute "ifs" and "buts" and "shoulds". Save your energy for the bigger problems in life...the real life...life outside of classes, colleges, universities. The small ones are only worth pooh poohing!

Thanks, and enjoy life..as a student. You will never be a student again...not like this.

What are you complaining about?

Disclaimer: This product contains facts. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is not coincidental. It is intentional.

• She was married at the age of 13, a widow at the age of 34, is currently 83.
• She gave birth to 4 children, lost one a few years ago, and currently lives with her daughter.
• She studied till the 7th grade but educated her children all the way through college.
• She was born in a rich family but her father squandered all the money on vices. She worked as a maid to help raise her siblings, and later on her own children.

You dont have shoes to match your outfit.

You dont have enough clothes.

Your roommates suck.

What are you complaining about?

• She was born beautiful and won several hearts.
• She married at the age of 25 and was divorced at the age of 29.
• Her husband abused her for four years and she decided to keep quiet for the sake of her family's reputation in society.
• She is currently single and lonely because she is "divorced". Still beautiful.

You have an acne problem?

You are 5 pounds overweight?

Your hair is too frizzy on a humid day?

What are you complaining about?

• He was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 8.
• He went through a bone marrow transplant every few months for several years.
• He lost several years of education, normal childhood, fun and frolic.
• His parents now live hand to mouth because they spent all their earnings and savings on their child's treatment. He survived.

Gas prices are too high?

You hate your professor?

You got a B in one of your classes?

What are you complaining about?

Life is too short and precious to worry about grades, a small checking account or idiotic people around you. Live like there is no tomorrow. Who knows, today may be your last day on this earth. Make it count!

Thanks, and be happy!

Marriages are made in heaven....

Summers=Weddings, at least in the United States.

This is the wedding season and I hear of someone being married or engaged every other week. Exciting? For some. Boring? For many.

And yet, weddings are often alone/reflective/ruminative/thought provoking times for me. Its a time for me to travel into the past and into the future.

I wonder, how would my life have been if I had married someone last year, or the year before that.
How would life have been if I would have married my first crush?
How will my life if I do marry my current boyfriend?

Will I "compromise" for the ideal guy is surely not out there? Or will I be deemed flexible because I will choose to accept his bad qualities and accept him for who he is. And then what? Is marriage truly a journey together? Or is it a compromise you make because you dont want to live with roommates all your life? Is marriage an escape from the fear of loneliness?

I have single friends. I have divorced friends. They all talk about their parents' concerns about them having to live alone. I have had an uncle tell me that I should not wait too much to get married for then I will never want to..

So?

Is being "alone" the worst state that anyone can be in that we have to resort to marrying a stranger (in the case of an arranged marriage) or someone that we can very well simply live with (in the case of a romantic relationship) without the legal binding?

Marriage. I wonder...does it not get boring to see the same person every day when you wake up in the morning? Maybe, it does and that's why the extra marital affairs.

Marriage. When will it happen? Will it be the end or the beginning of my solitude? Time will tell.

Weddings. Pomp. Show. Expenses. Food. Drink. Dance. Celebrations.

Celebration of the fact that this person will now not be alone. This person now has a roommate for life. This person will now be happy. Hmmmmm.. Really? Time will tell.

Thanks, and good luck on finding your roommate, if you have not already found one.

Desh Drohi?

On the occasion of India's Independence Day, let us define motherland. Is motherland where one was born, where one's race comes from, where one grew up or is it where one's ancestors were from? People are conflicted about this and the dictionary is not that clear about it. So well, can we then make it subjective?

We so easily throw the word "desh drohi" around when someone says something ill about India. Desh drohi=TRAITOR? According to the dictionary, one must be involved in treason to be called a traitor. So is someone who criticizes India then a traitor? Are NRIs who choose to leave India to reside in "better" places also traitors then? I read on a forum written by an NRI that just because he does not reside in India does not mean that he does not feel equally about India's events as do its residents. So are feelings enough then for him to qualify as a patriot or should he be contributing to the country in some way?

If NRIs are traitors, then are Parsis also traitors for leaving their own country to come to India? You will maybe say no for they had a valid reason to flee to India. Then do NRIs also have equally valid reasons for fleeing India to live in the US or UK or wherever else the latest fad may be..(Australia, New Zealand, etc.)? If NRIs are not traitors, then why are they residing in another country, paying taxes to that country, buying property in that country, and giving birth to children in that country.

Those children are now born as ABCDs. What about ABCDs? Agreed that they might be confused as the C in the acronym stands for. But should they be singing Jana Gana Mana on the 15th of August, or should they be singing The Star Spangled Banner on the 4th of July? After all, their ancestors were from India but their own generational roots began in the US? If they chose one over the other, will the other call them a "desh drohi"? If they decided to sing both, will they called true patriots?

I am confused and puzzled. Maybe it is after all subjective. Maybe it best remains subjective due to the sensitive nature of the topic. Maybe....I am a desh drohi.

Thanks, and love thy country!

First Impression is the Last Impression?

• Ever encountered unexpected guests and been embarassed about the mess in the living room?
• Ever dressed up for a first date or helped someone pick out an outfit before they "see" a prospective candidate for their groom or bride?
• Ever noticed how a guy or a girl in a club will smooth their hair and perk up before they approach a stranger to flirt with?
• Ever notice someone meet a friend's parents for the first time and instantly put on a "good girl" or "ideal son" attitude?

All this because we want to create a GOOD impression. A good impression helps the encounter take place again if that is your ultimate goal. But hey, if you are messy, you can't always tidy up your apartment to hide that fact and maintain your impression. If you are annoying, your "good girl" impression will not last long.

Are first impressions always the last impression?
If so, would we have so many sour relationships, divorces, breakups, etc?

I recently wrote a testimonial for someone on Orkut (here I go again!). Now I get teased for writing that testimonial for that person's impression in my mind is just the opposite of what I wrote. Unfortunately, my words were based on my first impression which triggered several other encounters with that person, only for me to realize that my first impression will certainly not remain the last impression. Likewise, there have been people that I had not cared to interact with in the past, who are now the best of my friends.

If first impressions truly are the last impressions, why do they say "nafrat pyar ki pehli seedi hai"?

Thanks, and realize, you are who you are..the first impression eventually wont matter!

Anger Management

Seen the movie Anger Management? Heard about "Anger Management"? It had been a fad a few years back to send a child for "anger management" counseling. Though the fad now is to have one's child be diagnosed as "bipolar", anger management continues to be trendy to some folks.

I always am amused when my clients come to me saying we need anger management. "Why! The very reason you are here is that you have managed your anger in some way, just not the right way!!", is what I think to myself!

Anyway, this blog is focused on how I have personally seen some people manage their anger. You might find it appropriate or you might find it amusing. Maybe it is, maybe it's not. Whatever you think, don't get angry...simply manage your anger.

Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is surely not coincidental.

Here are some ways that you might wanna try that I have already observed in the recent past..

• Make faces at the person they are mad at and say "neneenenene.." on their face...
• Bang doors as well as pots and pans....oh and even the car door of the person you are mad at...
  
• Pull your own eyebrows...
• Clean the kitchen, the bathroom, and whatever else that you can set your hands on to clean...
• Delete your scraps from the other person's scrap book and delete the ones that you received from them as well
• Not respond to their scraps but respond to everyone everyone elses...(Orkut again!)
• Shake your head like you would in a "halo" shampoo ad and walk away...
• Shake your leg vehemently while being seated...
• Give warnings on ORKUT to the other person about getting their act together...

(WOW Orkut seems to be a good medium these days..talk about anger management on the internet huh..)

And maybe there are many others such as speeding and driving as if you are the hero/heroine of a hindi movie and braking with the most unpleasant screech, yelling and being dramatic and rattling dialogues from a movie such as "how could you do this to me?" and "You broke your promise, I will never forgive you", and finding a private place to cry which sometimes turns out to be a dry bathtub. Of course cussing, getting thoughts of slapping the other person, or even punching them to give them a blue eye seems normal these days. My technique is to sulk, yell out expletives, go red like a beetroot, and say "I am pissed" at least ten times!

Anyone got any more interesting observations that they can add to my little list?

Thanks, and don't get mad..get glad!