Hello Folks,
Thank you all for your kind words, birthday wishes, and smiles!!
I am back from my vacation, severely jet-lagged, very homesick and familysick, and very unwilling to go to work each morning. Sigh! Such is life, I guess.
However, what keeps me going is the excitement about the release of THE ELEVEN by Sai-Kiran Publications. Yes! It's finally out!
Thank you everyone for your words of encouragement all along the way. I hope that you will continue to support my by buying the book and giving me your honest feedback.
Please feel free to email me at solitaire2009@gmail.com for a reference code before you purchase the book at this website for a 10% discount on the book!
(Please click on the highlighted words).
And before I forget, please also check out my new story "THE MURDER" on Calm Frenzies!
Hear from all of you soon.
Much love,
Solitaire
Hello Everyone! Hope you are doing well. I did get many of your emails after I left blogger...some unhappy, some hopeful, some angry, and some wishing me well. Thank you all for your heart-felt words. They mean a lot to me...truly. I may not be around in person but I am definitely around in spirit. I often wonder what you are doing, how your blogs are going, and what must have transpired in your lives. I wonder if you do the same about me too. And if so, here is a small update for those who really care.
In the past few weeks, a lot has transpired in my life. Some events were planned while some decided to surprise me. For beginners, I took several trips. One to Las Vegas, one to Malaysia, one to Thailand, and am currently in Singapore. Las Vegas was great, and surprisingly, eye-opening to me in many ways. I discovered personal things about myself that I had no way of knowing prior to this trip. That was not all. I also developed some sort of a neuroma after I returned from the trip which could have been caused by wearing heels and trotting along like a model all day long for 4 days in Vegas.
What's a neuroma? The doctor said its a kind of a tumor caused by the nerves. As of now, it is not clear to the doctors what the problem is. I was frustrated. But more than that, I was in pain. I could not walk and when I did, I cringed, and often cried. What did the doctors do? They injected me in my foot with steroids. I am a thousand times better now. I can walk. I cannot run, though. I am still confused about the problem too. And I have no idea of when I will find the solution.
Today is the 6th day of my vacation in Singapore. I am smiling. I love this city. I always have..for years together. What I am smiling about is the fact that I met several of my family members this trip who I had not seen for a decade. I find that I still love them. I find that we still connect. And I find that their presence still fills my heart with warmth.
Now let's come to the selfish part. I have missed you...some more than the others. Now that my birthday is only 2 days away, I find that I miss you all even more. I remember my birthday post last year and I remember how your warm wishes came in and wish the same for myself this year. I also take this opportunity to wish Kanan and Ceedy a happy birthday for I know that their birthday is around the corner too. And yes, MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I have saved the best for the last. There is a book coming out on the 4th of January. I hope and anticipate that nothing untoward will happen at the last minute. I wanted to share the good news with all of you on the d-day but cannot contain my excitement anymore!! Its not MY book. However, its a beginning. One of my stories features in that book. I will keep you all posted more about it as the time approaches. Looking forward for your support and thanking you all a zillion times for your strong words of encouragement all along my journey. You are my inspiration!
GOD BLESS YOU ALL!
Every so often, on the path of life, we come across crossroads which lead to several paths. This creates dilemmas within us. Questions arise. We wonder. We think, ruminate, ponder, fret, despair, consult, and finally take a decision and walk ahead on the path that we choose in that particular moment. Miles later, we may realize that it was the wrong path. We come to a decision making point again. Do I turn back? Or do I walk ahead looking for fresher pastures and hoping that what lies ahead is what I will grow to like and want.
When we all decided to blog at whatever points in our lives, we pretty much made an active decision at a crossroad. We decided whether we should blog or not. And then some of us started like there was no end to it, while some abandoned it at another point, and some never took off. When I decided to blog, it was out of sheer boredom. Writing was always a passion. Writing for people never occurred to me, though.
It served as a medium for me to connect to other people. It normalized my conflicts. It validated my emotions. It made me laugh. It made me cry. More than anything, it made my conviction stronger, my desire to write a book even deeper. I was blessed enough to have readers who genuinely encouraged me. I was blessed enough to realize who was actually engaging only in social desirability. Above all, I was blessed enough to have met some angels along the way who have enriched my soul in many ways. Some have stayed. Some have left. And some forgotten.
Today, I stand at another crossroad; one that I had never envisioned I would be at. Rather, one that I had hoped I would never come to stand at. And yet, I have. To continue blogging or not. I have realized over the last few weeks that what I had been seeking has already been attained in many ways. Once a white shirt is washed, bleached, and starched, it cannot get any whiter and crisper than that. That's how my soul feels right now. Blogging has changed my life in many ways. And yet, there is no deeper fulfillment as I continue blogging today.
I would like to leave this world and choose another path for myself while the positive energy still remains so that the sweet memories linger on for days to come. Sometimes, I wonder if I should return with another profile and another name. Sadly, if I did that, I would only be fooling myself. What's in a name? The soul and spirit remains the same.
Comfortably numb, as I write this post. I do not know if it is impulsive. I have been thinking about it for the past few days on a very subconscious level. Today, I decided that if I did not choose another path soon, it would only get harder for me. Do not ask me what my new path is. I have no clue myself. I can only say this...if in walking away from this world, I realize that this decision was a wrong one, I will not hesitate in returning.
All my dear friends, the ones who care, and the ones who think they care..I am much into closure. I hate rejection. I hate abandonment. So I would like to reiterate again, that in no way, is this a reflection of what we have shared together. It is only a choice that I make for myself. I am right here in my physical being in the same world as you live. I will visit you every so often and I will remember you even more than that. You all have been good to me. While I personally cannot thank each one of you, do know that we all learn from each other, either in grand or in simple ways. I wish you all the best of luck. Life moves on. So shall we.
Yours lovingly,
Solitaire
We often hear things like..
October 18th is SWEETEST DAY. I have no idea where and how it originated. I also am positive that many people even in the United States have never heard of it. I, on the other hand, have gone to the extent of celebrating it, and even expecting presents on that day. My enthusiasm had always been short-lived when the others did not really appreciate my sentiments about a Hallmark created birthday. I grew to come to terms with it..only until the next Sweetest Day arrived. It has, once again.
Diamond rings, flowers, cookie bouquets, and personalized candygrams are currently being advertised on air for those cheesy romantics like me. I have no money to buy those for myself nor know anyone who would be invested in buying those for me. Frankly, the excitement of receiving those presents would also wear off in a couple days. So on the occasion of Sweetest Day this year, I would like to acknowledge some sweetness that pervaded my life last week.
Last Wednesday, something dreadful happened. Something that I knew was going to happen and yet I was not really that well-prepared for it. No one knew about the pre-planned horrible event save a couple very, very close friends. And as I was driving back from the event at 8 am almost in tears, M, my best friend, who I had not spoken to in 2 weeks, texted me out of the blue asking me how I was. Later that day, another friend, P, took it upon herself to send me a good morning email every single day to brighten my mornings. She has been doing such a good job of it that I actually trot to work happily only to see what she has written for me each day.
Around 3 pm that day, N, asked me to cheer myself up by hanging out with friends. I was reluctant. He pushed. I listened. I hung out with friends, had a great time, and thanked God for the push that he gave me. I thanked him too but he thought nothing of it. As I walked out of work at 5 pm, S, a dear friend of mine, who had last called me to share the news of his engagement two months ago, called me "just to catch up". And last but not the least, I got a very dirty email from someone that very same day but somehow I did not chance upon it until Friday, out of sheer luck.
Last Wednesday was ironically one of the SWEETEST DAYS I have had in a long time. It was full of reaffirmations, signals, and signs that someone up there loves me and cares for me, and is there to protect me, sending across guardian angels when I needed them the most. Friends with who I have built great connections but who have been busy in their daily lives called me as if it was a telepathic connection. Life has not been the same since last Wednesday. I did not expect it to. But neither did I expect to find so much love and warmth around me.
Thank you sweet friends for being there. I now no longer need to wait for a Hallmark created cheesy day to recognize the sweetness around me. I need no diamond rings, for you are my gems.
What's your Sweetest Day story? Are you going to spread some sweetness today and make someone recognize who their guardian angel is?
Just got back from a club where Bally Sagoo played his music and did whatever he is good at. Meanwhile, there were men all over trying to grab girls' attention, shaking their hips vigorously, and trying to touch them wherever they thought was safe enough to not be slapped in return. On the sides, there were a few men who perhaps thought they were quite macho and ended up in a fist fight. It seemed straight out of a movie, where the two men in question were punching each other in the stomach, and other men were trying to stop them. Alas! They got kicked out of the club by the bouncers. Meanwhile, a guy comes up to me and puts his arm around my shoulder as if to protect me, as I gaped in shock at the men in the fight. I shrugged and pushed him away.
Not too much later, a guy came up to me and said, "Yaar. Tu badi soni lag rahi hai. Teri umar kya hai? Haan I know its not good to ask a girl her age but still..bata de." I simply shrugged and said, "I am not telling." He left. Another guy immediately made the decision to take up his position and tried to grind against me. I froze. And thus, the night passed with me trying to avoid the sleazy men and they trying their hardest to woo me. The last guy I met in the club was the funniest. He held my hand and said, "yaarrrrrrrrr sneha...number de de yaar!" I said no and walked out. And if you know what my latest post on Warm Fuzzies is all about, you perhaps also realize that I have the least amount of patience for guys who are trying to win girls over based on their so called non-existent charm.
A few days ago, a guy friend of mine asked me not to apply perfume in his presence. When I asked why, he said, "I would like to believe that girls naturally smell lovely". Is that what we always were and will continue to be? Are women just sexualized objects meant to be great to look at, good to smell, and sensual to hold? Are men not looking for like-mindedness, ambition, intelligence, and love? Are we women mere showpieces always under the pressure to look great. How come we have to tolerate men farting in public, growing their nose hair, and flaunting their measly chicken legs during the summer while we have to always be well-groomed?
Are women never going to be taken seriously? Is Sarah Palin going to end up being the vice-president of the United States only because she is "hot"? Will I always be a Barbie Doll?
Picture this.
1. You get a call from your colleague. The one you sit next to all day and exchange a few pleasantries with every morning. He wants to go out with you...yet again. You call your girlfriend and say, "Honey. I have to go out with a friend. Will call you when I get back." She says ok, with a dejected voice and awaits your phone call all night. You come back from a guys' night out, tired and drunk and fall asleep. She sleeps with the phone next to her pillow.
2. Your friends invite themselves over for your birthday. Panicky, you ask your mother to cook up some nice grub. She does. She slogs in the kitchen for two hours so that your birthday party is a success. When your friends come over, you take them to your room, have a gala time, hoping that your mother does not disturb you. When she does come to interact, you say, "MAaaaaaaaaaa" in an embarrassed fashion. She excuses herself and you get the entire evening to yourself and your friends.
As far as I know, all those who read me, have loved ones. Some love their partner to death, some their parents, and some can devote an entire lifetime to a friend. And yet, we sometimes choose to be nice to those who do not really matter and shun those we profess to be most important to us.
Why is having an old grandmother who cannot speak English embarrassing? Why is dejecting a partner okay to do but not okay to say no to a colleague, neighbor, or casual friend? Why do we take for granted those who have been there for us but seek out the attention of those who never have and probably never will? Do we like challenges or does familiarity breed contempt? Are our priorities messed up or do we like being in control?
There are many souls out there who are loveless in life. So please. Cherish those who have chosen to love you and you have chosen to love back. Your colleague may not be in your life 10 years from now but your loved one most likely will be. Remember, just because someone loves you, it does not mean that you can treat them anyway you want.
When the Houston heat kills, most of us at work scramble to find a tree to go sit under. The hour passes under its rich foliage, with mouthfuls and giggles, and then we walk away with content to our overly air-conditioned offices. The tree is left alone.
Then Ike arrives and decides she does not like the tree , kills it, brings it down, and leaves. When we return to work, we see the tree is dead, groan and grumble, and find another upright tree to sit under. The dead tree is left alone. And ultimately gotten rid of by some random stranger who never sat under it, ever.
This is what we do with some people, too. We take from them, just like we take from the tree, and leave without saying anything. Yeah...sometimes, we do say thank you, and then quickly forget about what they gave us, assuming that it was our birthright to receive what we did in the first place. We assume that the janitor gets paid for sweeping the floor and needs no acknowledgment. We assume that the auto driver is doing his job when he takes us from place to place safely and yell at him when he asks for a rupee more than what you think it should be. We assume that the maid is supposed to replenish our beauty supplies when out of them and get irritated and have a bad day when she does not.
We take a lot from others. We give them back a lot too but not necessarily what they want. Irritation is not what they asked for. Nor cold looks or admonishment. Sometimes, all that it takes for the tree to flourish is some nourishment. If you think the tree SHOULD give you shade, it is your duty to make sure that the tree remains capable of doing so.
Go and thank someone today who made your day once upon a time. Go and thank someone today who made your life easier once upon a time. Go and thank someone from who you learned a valuable life lesson.
Go water your tree today.
This is what the university of Houston (and the roads of Houston) looks like these days.
This is what remains of a once beautifully landscaped restaurant.
Traffic lights are not working. Not only that, some of them are on the roads.
Some houses are damaged beyond recognition. 
Broken fences.
On early Saturday morning, she arrived. Hurricane Ike came with a majestic power that left many powerless, helpless, and some without even a real life anymore. At precisely 2 am, we decided to go to bed because a friend thought "the storm was not fun" and no point staying awake for. He wanted drama. He wanted howling winds. He wanted rainfall. He wanted excitement. Nothing happened. Not until 4 am, at least.
And then he got a blockbuster hit. We lost electricity. The winds howled like I had never heard them howl before. It was like one of those horror movies that you want to watch but do so with your eyes shut through most of it, except here, there was no obvious blood or gore (unless trees swaying from one side to the other count as gore). At least when a horror movie ends, you can turn a comedy movie on and try and forget about it. This was different. I woke up to worse horror. Trees had died, blocking roads, traffic signals had either changed direction or fallen on the street, roofs and fences were shattered, and I felt that I was walking through the sets of a disaster movie. It felt like a scene from a CNN news broadcast that I am used to watching on tv. This time it was real. And the same excitement-seeking friend said, "yaar itna nuksaan nahi hua." I guess he wanted a blockbuster hit that lasts for 365 days. Little does he realize that it may very well be one for those who are homeless today thanks to Ike.
Amidst all this, I get a message from someone asking me to come online for free counseling. Yet another someone asks me why I am not publishing his comments. And then there was a someone who called me to ask me "How is Dayton?". There was a friend grumbling that he ran out of cigarettes and that the stores were closed. Another someone was worried that his taxes would go up while the government tries to restore the 4th largest city in the United States. And then someone else who thought it was funny to say "Why are you not online? Did Ike damage your internet?" Everyone was starring in their own dramatic movies assuming that it would entertain their audience.
Today as I write thist post, I am seated at a friend's place who is among the 1% of Houston's population who has power and water. I am amongst the 99% who does not have power and has no chance of having it restored for another 4 weeks at least. We are surviving on frozen foods and hoping that we don't run out of it. And yet, life has to resume on Tuesday. I don't know when this dramatic/horror movie will end for me. I move to my own apartment tomorrow night. I wonder how it will be go to work without showering and wearing unironed clothes and eating candlelight dinners by myself. But that's not all.
Someone else at this moment is probably thinking how it will be for them to live in their own home once again. They are starring in a horror movie that someone else is watching seated in their very own home theater.
Yesterday, the weather was perfect. The skies were blue, the waters green, the sun shone bright, and a cool breeze blew. Yes, it did seem picture-perfect as I enjoyed every minute of my lazy afternoon watching little children jump joyously, splashing water at each other in the lake. Nearby, their parents watched them lovingly, enjoying a beer or two, and basking in the sun, wearing the bare minimums. Couples held hands and kissed in the water while I sat there on the grass with a smile on my lips, thanking God for a wonderful day.
And then it happened. On my way back home, I began to dread Monday. Monday blues are something that we all commonly experience at some point in our lives, whether or not we love our jobs or whatever else we do for a living. I began to groan in my head at the thought of waking up to a shrill alarm clock at 7:20 am, dressing up to go to work, juggling my way through horrible traffic, and going through boring training seminars for half the day. For dinner, I stopped by at my favorite cafe to eat a healthy sandwich and enjoyed it thoroughly as I bit into the greens smothered with feta cheese and a mediterranean dressing. The moment I set foot into my car, my Monday blues returned.
I came back home and turned on the TV, a luxury that I have now begun to afford after my school days. And yet, I could not focus. I kept glancing at the clock, wishing bedtime never came. However, as hard as I tried, I was unable to change my destiny. The clock did strike midnight. My eyes did get droopy. I did fall asleep. And I did get up on time to go to work today.
As I write this post, another Monday has passed by. I now await the weekend and am counting my days till Friday. But then I wonder, what is the point? In waiting for the Friday, I am losing out on all the experiences of joy that I could have encountered today or might tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that too.
In waiting for the future, am I spoiling my present? Did I miss out on experiencing the full joy of hearing from someone I had not in ten years today? Did I miss out smiling genuinely when the cashier at the gas station told me that I looked beautiful today? Did I miss out on the great sunset while driving back home on Sunday evening?
Some of us are truly living in the future with the hope of making it better without realizing that in doing so, we are losing out the opportunity of enjoying an already good present. We have to live in the NOW. Not in the THEN. They don't say "tomorrow never comes" without a reason.
Last week, when I wrote up an intake interview of one of my clients, the first sentence read as...
"Client is a 22-year-old heterosexual White female, majoring in Biology, currently in her senior year, seeking counseling for issues related to depression."
Essentially, I captured her age, gender, sexual orientation, major, educational qualifications, and emotional problems in one sentence. But was that all there was to her? Was she only a young white female majoring in biology, about to graduate, and all that jazz? NO. She was much more than that.
She played the guitar. She had grown up poor. She had been sexually abused as a child. Her boyfriend is in prison. She has a cute dimple. She likes pizza. She has a heart. She loves her boyfriend. She is all that and much more.
Sometimes we focus too much on what we see and less on what we do not see. They say "seeing is believing". But then they also do not see God and yet believe in Him. So maybe not seeing can also be believing. And maybe, sometimes it would do us good to see the entire picture and not just the small dot on a big white poster board.
This post has been inspired by Neeku who beat herself up and called herself a bad person who failed in multitasking. Frankly, I think a lot of us do that...a lot of us are harsh on ourselves (and others) when we do not meet with our own expectations and standards. We forget that that one mistake or failure is not the only thing that makes us.
So what if you failed a test? So what if you lost your driving license? So what if you burned the vegetables while daydreaming? So what if you did not understand the joke? So what if you cannot drive? So what if you put on weight? So what? That does not make you a BAD PERSON. Maybe a bad test-taker, maybe a clumsy person, maybe inattentive, maybe a bit slow, maybe challenged in your motor skills, maybe impulsive....but not a BAD PERSON. Likewise, so what if the person next door wears mini skirts too short for your taste? So what if your classmate got her belly button pierced? So what if your best friend only eats out and does not cook? So what if your blogger friend forgot to give you an award? Maybe it is a flaw that they have, maybe not. But it definitely does not make them a BAD PERSON.
Remember friends. You are all multi-faceted. You all have wonderful qualities. You all have some weaknesses but are also blessed with some strengths. Do not let your weaknesses define you. Do not hate yourself (or anyone else) for slipping and committing an error. We were not all born perfect and learn through our mistakes. So go forth and appreciate all that you do. Be nice!
Suppose you are 25, a fresh graduate out of college, a newbie in the world of work, gone through a couple failed romantic relationships, and in the eyes of others, a trifle bit inexperienced. Get the picture?
Then you meet a 35 year old, who "obviously" has more experience than you in all these aspects of life. Correct?
WRONG!!!!!
Sometimes, we indulge ourselves too much with an EXPECTATION BIAS. Yes!! Yet another term coined by psychologists. All that the expectation bias suggests is that when we expect something to happen or be a certain way, even when results suggest it is not true, we continue to be in denial and believe what we always expected. So even if the 35 year old turns out to be "stupid", not really a genius full of wisdom, and certainly has nothing valuable to offer in terms of experience, we continue to believe that he/she is more experienced than us!!
Yes. There is no denying that some people genuinely know more than us but sometimes, they do not. Likewise, when we expect someone not to fulfill our expectations, even when they do, it is hard for us to believe that they did!!
This is an error that we really do not commit as much as the fundamental attribution error or the out-group homogeneity bias, but nevertheless we do. Can you think of times when you committed this error unknowingly only to realize later that you were under an illusion?
All Chinese look alike.
All women take too much time to get dressed.
All men are practical.
All Gujjus are business-minded.
All goris are good in bed. (Read this post of mine on Short and Sweet if you have not already done so!)
All Westerners have no family values.So the next time, someone says something about Indians that offends you, take a chill pill. Forgive them for the outgroup-homogeneity bias, educated them about the truth, tell them about the bias they committed, and then do not go and tell someone else..."ALL THESE PEOPLE FROM SO AND SO COUNTRY ARE SO DARN IGNORANT!" Not all of them are.
You are a heterosexual man. In other words, you are straight. Your sexual preference is the opposite gender. You prefer a female partner.
Now here is the twist. You are a heterosexual in a homosexual world. Everyone around you has same sex partners. Amongst your school, college, and work friends, no other person prefers someone of the opposite gender. You are committed to a woman and she lives at home with you. But no one knows about it. Sometimes people tease you about the way you walk and talk and make jokes about your sexuality. You just bear it all and hide it quite well.
While driving to work, you turn on the radio and listen to George Michael croon about his boyfriend. You change channels and find the same song playing. It is on the top 5 that week. Sadly, you turn the radio off and play the CD in your player that has the very few opposite sex partner songs in the market. Billboards and commercials talk about proposing to your same-sex partner on 08.08.08. You are unhappy because you know you can never get married to your love because society looks down upon it. You are furious when a billboard advertises shared insurance rights only when living with a same-sex partner.
At work, people ask you what you did over the weekend. You quickly say "nothing", when people begin to share their experiences with you. How can you tell them that you went to a "straight bar"? When using the restroom, you overhear people outside talking about you in a hushed manner.
Do you think he is straight?
Oh no. I hope not.
Ya I heard that's why he never invites us to his place. He lives with a woman.
Oh my god. He seemed like such a nice guy.
Ya. Too bad, isn't it?
You do not know what to do. You are sad. Unhappy. You do not how long you can hide it from the world. You feel judged because of your sexual preference. You do not know how to face your adoptive mothers. You tried therapy in the past to change your sexuality but it did not work. Now you do not know where to go to.
This is how a gay/lesbian feels in a heterosexual world everyday.
Imagine buying your first vehicle. It could be your cycle, your motor-bike, your car, your van, your truck, or even your own bus. It gleams and shines while adrenaline rushes through your body.You cannot wait to be seated on or in it, resting your hands on the steering and driving/riding away to some place that makes you happy. You speed, you slow down for bumps, you accelerate again, you dodge puddles and potholes, brake, change gears, stop at traffic lights, swerve, take a u-turn, come back home, and park your new precious vehicle. And then you look for excuses to go out on it again....maybe.
Many of us get overwhelmed with life, its worries, its stressors, often wanting to run away from it all, wanting someone to come save us, wanting to move ahead happily. How many of us do that while driving, though? If we come across a bridge that is closed for the day, do we not turn around and find another way? If we come across a bump, do we not slow down and go over it such that we don't fall off the bike? If we fall off a two-wheeler or are in a motor-crash, do we not find someone to nurse our injuries, take the required rest, and go about our daily ways as soon as we are well?
Speed breakers are those problems in life that halt us when we are being impulsive or rash, often causing a dent in our plans. Potholes are those problems in life that often come unexpectedly causing us to detour or fall right into it. Closed roads are those problems that cause us to start everything right from the beginning, wasting precious time and energy. One-way roads are those problems that have you stuck in them once into them and there is no looking back. And then we have accidents where someone else's plan does not co-incide with ours and there is a crash, often causing much damage, to our mental health, relationships, stability, and so on. And yet, when these things happen on the road, many or most of us survive with some assistance or not.
Maybe, life is not that hard as we think it to be. Maybe, when the traffic gets too bad, we can take a detour. Maybe, highways are not always the best or the fastest. Maybe, its ok to take another route sometimes. Maybe, we need someone to lend us a helping hand when we are stuck.
This is what I was thinking this weekend as I drove 21 hours from Dayton to Houston for my final stint in my doctoral program. I am now in a new territory, on new roads, trying to find my way around. What road are you on?
Listen to the song on the sidebar. What does it talk about? Nothing but the positive contribution that death makes on life. We always view death to be something hurtful, painful, that which makes us nothing but a dead body from a once living being. Maybe, there is something that we can learn from death. Something that will make our lives worth living.
I am young, have never been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and have never had a close encounter with death. I believe that I have at least another 50-60 years to live in this world and yet, when I look at that number, it almost feels like time will fly by. I have already lived 1/3 of my life and I have no idea where they went!
People usually fear the end of their lives. What I fear is not living life completely before I die. What is living life completely to you? Buying your own house, earning a 6-figure salary, owning a Mercedes Benz, wearing only branded clothes, or mingling in a high-profile social circle? Is it being able to travel around the world, eating exotic foods from different countries, or going dancing, bungee jumping, skydiving? Or is it having a huge family, becoming a parent, and living a life full of love and kindness?
As I hear about the bomb blasts, violence, terror, around the world, I begin to realize more each day that life is uncertain. Though common sense and family history tells me that I will live to die very late, I might also live today to die tomorrow. I do not care if its a painful death. I do not care if its an early death. I do not care if its a lonely death. But I do care if its a death after having lived life the way I want to.
So today I hope and pray that I do not begin to take precious time for granted, do not leave things I can do today until tomorrow, begin appreciating life's little blessings more and more everyday, and live today like there is no tomorrow.
This was a class assignment, a journal I wrote that wanted us to talk about "death anxiety".
Sorry folks, been tied up with some stuff. Will come around to your blogs in a few days. Will also respond to my commentors in the previous post soon. Take care!
I recently saw SEX and the CITY..twice! Needless to say, I loved it. The first time I went with a few girlfriends. The second time I coaxed a guy friend to come with me. He agreed...reluctantly. On the D-day, he called me and said, "Will I be the only guy there?". I could almost feel him breaking out in a sweat. I laughed and said, "No. There will be many other guys there who may have come to look at the beautiful audience, if not the movie." I knew he was not assured but he decided to be nice and come anyway. Right before the movie began, his friend called and asked him what he was doing. Quite embarrassed, he told him where he was. His friend chuckled and said, "Tum ladkiyon wala kaam karo. Kal baat karte hai". (You do what's meant for women. We will talk tomorrow).
I was irritated at his friend. My friend was irritated at me. I decided to keep mum but the train of thoughts continued. Why? Why is there an assumption that men will not like the movie? When I told my friend about the several husbands who have stated that they enjoyed the movie, he managed to grunt, "They only said that to make their wives happy". I felt like he had already assumed that he would not like the movie and felt that he was not giving it a chance!
Why do we stereotype genders so much? Why do we assume that certain behaviors are appropriate only for one gender and not the other? Why do we expect certain behaviors from one gender and not the other? And if God forbid, the opposite gender acts in a way that they are not supposed to, they are teased, poked fun at, and ridiculed until they pray for the skies to fall on them. Why?
This is a repost for people who have missed knowing how they are stupid but I was only fooled. Do not understand? Let me ask you a few questions!
