Aaahhhhh money money money!!

• I have a friend who wants to own a Porsche at some point in his life.
• I have a friend who is yearning to buy a BMW as soon as he gets a job.
• I have a friend who dreams of a mansion on the lake.
• I have a friend whose fiance admitted to wanting to marry her only because she is a doctor and will make big bucks.

They all hope and anticipate....to live the lifestyle of the rich and famous.
They all dream of being "happy one day".

• I have a friend who is unmarried, lives in a huge apartment in Bandra, has a driver and a maid, and money that I did not have when I was at her age.
• I have a friend, who is divorced, and has a great job and lives with a roommate in the United States.
• I have a friend, who has a PhD, can afford a house to herself, and is successful in her career.
• I have a friend who is single, lives with her wealthy parents, does not work, and is able to make two pleasure trips to the United States every year.

They all hope and anticipate....to find a partner and to live a fulfilling life filled with love.
They all dream of being "happy some day".

• I have a friend who lives in a 2BR apartment in India with her husband and working full time in a bank.
• I have a friend who is on an H4 visa in the United States unable to work and lives in an apartment with her husband.
• I have a friend who is engaged to be married to her boyfriend who lives 600 miles away from her.
• I have a friend who lives in a small house with her husband and two kids and does not work because she prefers to be a stay-at-home mother.

They are all content and satisfied.
They all say, "We are happy TODAY".

Ever heard of Maslow's hierarchy of needs?

Moral of the story: ??
My moral is that no matter how many cars, mansions, diamonds, or servants you have...your happiness will surely depend on the ones you love and who love you back! After all, there is no point to having a BMW if you have no one to ride with, and no point owning a mansion if you have no one to come home to..right?
What's your moral of the story.

Thanks, and dont chase the money...seek out love.

User Manual on Cheating

Are you cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend?

Then you surely need a user manual to do so, for research says that the truth always comes out! Also, there are some "poor" cheaters out there who always get caught sooner than the mean. So if you want to improve your skills, here is a user manual for you. There is no guarantee that your partner won't find out but he/she will find out later than the average population does.

1. Always delete your text msgs to your lover-inbox/sent/trash...all folders.
2. The same applies to your emails.
3. Make sure that you "do stuff" discretely, not in public.
4. Make sure you dont absolutely have this need to "have a girls night out" or "hang out with the guys" every single night.
5. Make sure that you have a different telephone line to talk to your lover and that you always answer your partner's phone calls.
6. Make sure you get rid of all receipts of the flowers you sent or the movies you saw together.
7. Make sure that you dont bring back the scent of his/her perfume on your clothes when you return home.
8. Make sure you dont talk in your sleep at night and blurt out what you are dreaming about.

Ok..you perhaps get the hang of it..be absolutely careful!

However, this manual is not complete without the next set of tips. Last but not the least:

9. Make sure that your heart is made of steel because you will lose the one who is oblivious about your deeds and continues to be loyal to you.
10. Be prepared for your lover to leave you for someone else, just like you left your partner for him/her.
11. Be prepared to live a life filled with guilt, and hopefully some remorse.
12. Be prepared for people to point fingers at you.
13. Be prepared to lose some of your friends who will disapprove of what you did.
14. Be prepared to live a lonely life full of insecurities.
15. Be prepared to be cheated on for what goes around comes around.

Hope this user manual is helpful to those out there who think variety is the spice of life. Maybe it is, but there will be a price to pay for it. Willing to do so..go for it!! My advice for the victims (their partners)..hang in there!! Everything happens for a reason!

Thanks, and stay loyal.

I remember....

I remember those days.........

When Wednesday and Friday evenings were spent watching Chitrahaar in Black and White..

When the use of a remote control (the size of a brick) was only to increase/decrease the volume or to turn the TV on/off..

When Saturday nights were reserved for movie rentals from the one and only rental store in the area...

When relatives used to gather every Saturday evening to watch that one special movie...

When the remote control connected to the VCR through a long wire...

When I used to listen to Binaca Geet Maala (later known as Cibaca Geet Mala) hosted by Amin Sayani religiously every Tuesday night on Vividh Bharti...

When the people in my apartment complex gathered at my place to see the new color TV...the only one that they had ever seen...

When DD-2 released, people were ecstatic that they could not watch a second channel.

When cable TV released, it had all but 5 channels.

When going to the airport or the railway station meant I would get to drink Thums Up...

When we did not have a cassette player in our car and used to carry a portable one with me everytime I travelled in it...

When having a cordless phone was not only a big deal but was also the size of a vanity case with the shrillest sound possible...

When letting my hair loose was a privilege...

When I saw QSQT for the third time and told my mom that I was in love with Aamir Khan and I was allowed to buy a poster of him...

When cellphones were the size of a cordless phone and each minute used to cost 16 rupees...

When I asked the store keeper if he could copy a CD for me just like an audio cassette and he laughed at me and said that it was not possible...

When I used to play solitaire on the black and white monitor of my computer...

When opening an internet site like hotmail would take ten minutes...

When the family used to make special plans to go eat pizza at the only restaurant in town that served pizza with mozzarella cheese...

When Maggi used to cost only 5 rupees and was known to be sold in Prawn, Sweet and Sour, Capsica, Masala, and Chicken flavors....

When I was allowed to have Maggi only on Thursdays and I used to count down the days to Thursday....

When Frooti was available only in Mumbai and we used to request people to buy us a crate when they visited the city...

When the milkman used to bring milk to our place in a big container and sell it to us according the quantity we needed as opposed to today's poly packs...

When people used to ask relatives to buy them jeans from abroad because they were not sold in India...

When being seen talking to a boy would mean that you are going out with him...

When I was young and innocent..ignorant of the responsibilities that adulthood brings with it...when my life was about smiling, laughing, dancing, and singing...and not about careers, education, bills, money, cars...

I remember those days...the days of my childhood...which remain only a memory.

Thanks and hold on to your memories..

Creating history

I have often heard young children say when asked what they want to grow old to be, "I want to be famous".

Today, my professor, colleagues and I chatted about our heritage; where we all came from, what values we shared, what our ancestors were like, and how our lives had molded up till this point. And as I rattled off my story beginning from the time my grandparents married, I was surprised at myself. Never had I given that part of my history so much thought. It was all taken for granted. Very matter of fact. Just something that had happened and was over and gone. And yet, today I felt this strange emotion, a lump in my throat, and a sense of panic. I panicked that I did not know enough and that it was too late now to discover more.

We may not be world renowned. But one day, our grandchildren will be talking about us and the impact our life decisions had on them the way I talked about my grandparents today. And then we will be famous and a part of their history. Today, for a change, I focused on my present and not on my future. It is my present that will be history tomorrow. The future will one day be my present and that is when I will worry about it.

Thanks, and live in the present to make a wonderful past for those in the future.

Shoes, handbags, clothes!

Do you have over 20 pairs of shoes, a closet overflowing with clothes, and 4 vip bags full of more clothes that did not fit into the closet? And yet, do you look at your clothes each morning and let out a sigh while saying, "I dont have anything good to wear!"?

A few weeks ago, I realized that I fell into this category of girls described above. The number of clothes in my possession overwhelmed me as I cleaned out my closet in frustration. I came across something I bought in 1995 that looks hideous in 2007. I am proud to say that it still fits. Perhaps, one of the reasons I never threw it away!! Maybe I was waiting for a day that I would outgrow it and hence have a "valid" reason to chuck it instead of merely being bored with it and thus be in the danger of looking like someone with whimsical tastes and a lot of money to spare and spend.

And as I spent the entire day folding and unfolding the huge mountain of clothes, I realized that there are some garments that I bought just for the heck of them being on sale and had never worn them while there were some that I had held on to with the hope that I would one day be "thin" enough to look good in them. Needless to say, that point of satisfaction has still not come and they still remain new with labels on them.

Well, the 4 VIP bags have now been reduced to 2. And the wardrobe that was once overflowing is now quite open to newer clothes. What an irony!! Guilt laden, I think of the number of rupees and dollars spent on these clothes, and how I could perhaps use this money today towards the gas that my car guzzles each week, these days. Thank God for Salvation Army that accepts donations. I at least know that these clothes will be put to good use as opposed to being used as a mop for the kitchen floor.

Now let's start talking about the shoes and the handbags..or maybe not!! I guess, by now, you must have an idea. Are you one of those girls too? Any Carrie Bradshaws reading this article and wanting to rave about the number of Manolo Blahniks they have!!?

Thank you, and keep donating.

Don't like the US of A?

If you are one of those desis who is complaining about life in the United States and yearns to go back to India, my question to you is...

"Why dont you go back?"

If you want to say that there is more money here, and that you can live a better life (read luxurious and easy) here, then my question to you is...

"What is it that you want? The feeling you had when you were at "home" or the luxuries?"

If you think that you dont want to raise your kids here because the culture in the United States is really bad, my question to you is...

"Why were your kids born here?"

If you say that you wanted your kids to be American citizens, my question to you is...

"Why? If the US is so terrible for you, why make them citizens of a terrible country? You are an Indian citizen, why can't they be Indian citizens too?"

If you say that you want your kids to be able to come back later for a good education, my question to you is...

"So you do recognize that there is something good about the education system here and that it does not need to reshuffle?"


Why complain if you made the decision to come here? Was it a bad decision? If yes, then rectify it and go back. You need to pay off student loans? Wont be so bad..work full time for three years, dont get married, dont incur any more debts, and lo! your problems will be solved. Then go back! Attracted towards the greencard? Want to stay more so that you can have one and leave? Why? Since the US is not doing you any good anyway. Oh..maybe the greencard is not enough so you need to work towards a citizenship and then leave.....just in case you want to come back, you can? Why? You don't like the US of A right? Oh...you like it but like India better? Well, what is it that you want? Don't know? Think about it. And if you finally make a decision to stay here and not go back to your motherland, stop complaining and stick to your decision.

Thanks, and live life to the fullest.

Addendum: A clarification I would like to make. Miss India by all means. It was/is home after all. Complain about the cons here. After all, nothing is perfect. My pet peeve is people who DETEST the USA and criticize it to shreds and yet conjure up excuses to not go back.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly!

This blog is dedicated to the bad and ugly people in my life. I want to say thank you to you for being who you are.

After all, I am a social animal and I would like to see myself in a societal context. I accept that I am part of a society that has people like you in it. Rude, obnoxious, egoistic, conflictual, cruel, and antagonistic. And I am grateful that you exist. Why..someone might ask? Would we not be better off without these people who create chaos and destroy peace of mind? No, I would say. Without these people, we would never know what the good is. And if we did, we would not value it as much. Without these people, we would take our peace of mind for granted. But when these people create negative emotions within us, we learn to appreciate the people who make us feel good about ourselves. If it were not for the bad and the ugly, we would not know the true definition of good.

Let's learn to appreciate all that we have. Let's not curse these people in our lives who sometimes make it a living hell. Let's thank them for making us realize what heaven is.

Thank you and be good.

Disclaimer: Ugly refers to a lack of beauty in character, not appearance.

Farewell!

This blog is not philosophical, nor controversial. Its merely a memorial to something precious I lost today.

You came into my hands sometime in 2005. Little did I know that you would become such a precious part of me; so precious that I would let go of you only at night when I went to bed. I have taken you with me everywhere I went..to school, to the gym, to my clinic, sometimes even to the restroom! People have enquired about you when they did not see me with you.

You have survived many accidents. You once fell in water and my friend, Sulabh helped you out. You once got locked in my closet and I found you after days of agony..but you survived and returned to me. You once hurt your mouth and I had to hold on to it for days but my mate, Arun resolved the problem, much to my relief.

I thought you were a survivor and though I love you to death, I have often taken you for granted. Today, due to my recklessness, I have lost you. Please forgive me. I know that I will be punished for this. I already am being punished by the pangs of misery that I feel everytime I think about you. I wonder where you are. I wonder if you are safe. And I wonder if you will return to me.

My friends have said that I can replace you. Little do they know that you can never replace the one you love. I might find something else to replace you. But your memories will be in my heart forever.

Farewell, my bluetooth headset! Life will never be the same without you!

Two to tango and four to fight!?

A and B are great friends!
A to B: "I dont think you should have done that."
B to A: "I am sorry. Yeah I dont think I should have."
A to B: "Well, I am pretty mad about it anyway. Please dont talk to me for some time until I cool down."
B is upset.

C and D are great friends as well!
C to D: "I dont think this is how she should have reacted. I wonder how B tolerated it."
D to C: "Ya he should have given it back to her or said something to her. What a bitch!"

C,D to B: "Hey dude. We did not like what A did to you. You should have given it back to her. I think you should talk to her."

Were C and D backbiting? Were they concerned for B? Were they interfering? Were they advising? What is the fine line between being concerned and discussing an issue and gossiping or backbiting? When should one back off when the two people concerned are having a problem with one another? If they are able to resolve the issue on their own but not the way you want it to, should you show them the "right" way (read your way)? When they are unable to resolve the issue, should you go add fuel to the fire? Or maybe salt to their wounds?

"Its great that you are not talking to each other. She was stupid anyway."
" I wonder how you deal with someone like her."

How many relationships that I know could have been salvaged if people like C and D did not project onto A and B? And people like B did not take C and D's words at face value. I myself have been guilty of being in B's position as well as C and D's position but have learned it the hard way that not all C's and D's mean well. And that when being in B's position, I ought to think of what A means to me rather than trying to please C and D.

Wish there was a law against unsolicited advice and unwanted suggestions. But then, if there were such a law, I would not be writing this blog either!

Moral of the story: Live and let live!

Thanks and let's not intervene when not needed!