Thursday, January 17, 2008

My Best Friend

How many times have you looked in the mirror and said:
"I am fat!"
"My shoulders are too thin."
"I wish I was fairer"
"If only I were two inches taller".....
How many times have you made a mistake and said:
"I am so stupid"
"So dumb of me"
"I just cant do this"

We are always finding faults with ourselves. Yet we find faults with the people who find faults with us. And then we complain that we are lonely, that the people we put our faith in betrayed us, and that we do not deserve to be treated this way.

Yes, you are right. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You are special. Maybe not a VIP, maybe not a bollywood star, maybe not a renowned artist, and maybe not the richest person in the whole world. Yet, you are special to a select your parents, siblings, friends, etc. And if you feel like all of the above really do not care for you, then do not forget that you are special to yourself. After all, are you not the one who spends time with you 24 hours a day? Are you not the one who knows you inside out? Are you not the one who talks to yourself in your head? Then why put yourself down?

Numerous people walk in and out of our lives. A boyfriend could now be an ex-boyfriend. A best friend could now be just a memory. A carpool partner could only be a once-a-month-phonecall friend. But someone who is always there for you is you. So when you feel lonely and alone, do not forget that you are there. Pamper yourself. Take care of yourself. Treat yourself as your own best friend. Do things that you would for a best friend.

When was the last time you cooked something special for yourself, or treated yourself just for the heck of it? Maybe today is that day. The day to celebrate a best friend called "I".

35 Words of Wisdom:

maverick said...

hmmm...well v all treat ourselves to something or the other..but thinkin abt ourselves..introspecting..and trying to a good sure we are mature enuf to understand things that need to be done n not overdone in the process of introspection :) updated my blog :)

Anonymous said...


I am so dumb, I am saying this here :)

A treat sounds wonderful.. maybe a spa treatment.. massage.. ;)

Well said! I suddenly need to do so many things for my own self.

Lov and Hugzzz!

badshah khan said...

are there people who don't like themselves? Well there is always a little greed of being the best but I guess most of them never ill treat might be too thin might be a little bit dark may be getting a bit bald but still when you see the mirror you are always looking at some special person. may not be star, may not be a celebrity but still u see a bit of spark in yourself.If you haven't seen it try to see it today.

J E E V Y said...

good post!
i am always true to myself! :D and celebrate the friends in Me all the time! ;)
I am my own friend! ;)


LostWeasley said...

Wow, this was so good....
And there i was, feeling quite down about, well, stuff....
thanks, that was very inspiring
I'll always remember this..

Anjuli said...


my complimets to you for coming up with such a lovely post!

I believe in the policy of pampering myself so could relate to this post so much...

Suneer said...

Good food for thought!

I think I agree with Maverick here, thinking and introspection is natural, and necessary. Have come across some who have made mistakes that not only affect themselves, but also others around 'em, but have carried on "pampering" themselves like the world's conspired to transpire against 'em. Personally, I think pampering is necessary, but more than pampering there needs to be a realisation of self satisfaction at some point or the other.

Solitaire said...

@ Maverick

You are sure that "we are mature enough to understand...."
Really? How can you be so sure? Are you generalizing to others what you are capable of? In my experience, not everyone can do that.

@ Veens

I did go for a massage last week and it opened up a lot of things for me..a thought process that focused on how I have neglected myself in trying to cater to others.

Solitaire said...

@ Badshah,

YES!!! There are people who do not take care of themselves. And there are people who ill treat themselves. Heard of low self-esteem?

@ Jeevy,

I am glad you do that!!

Solitaire said...

@ Lost Weasley,

Glad to be of some help! :)

@ Anjuli,

And are you? What was the last nice thing you did for yourself?

@ Suneer,

This point of self-satisfaction seems so far away that I think some impulsive gratification is required to keep me going..hence the pampering. I see it as baby steps towards the long-term goal.

J E E V Y said...

go to my archives and click on this month's archive link!
and read the first post i made this year :)
U will see the awards!


Mez said...

That was so wonderfully put. Now i know how well ur profession suits you :) I have started loving myself more but not totally yet.Howz u doin after our last chat?

Vandita said...

just today i was feelin insignificant and then u i came along and read this and now im all pepped up
thanks so much sweetie :)
PS: im gonna treat myself to icecream prolly, u buy urself a chocolate or icecream (whatever u like) from my side please :)

c e e d y said...

i do it all the time 'love myself'....but never felt like sharing it - cause people think i am crazy....

it reminds me of a very interesting few lines from the album marasim -
aayinaa dekh kar tasalli huyi
hamako is ghar me jaanataa hai koyi

thanks for sharing your tots :)

Anjuli said...

u forgot my mango dolly and jhoola hai na.... :-P

Cinderella. said...

Sol....I love you for what you have doen by putting up this post here !

Yeah, we do need to celebrate the ' I ' at times.
At the moment, I want a spa- treatment or a facial !

I was telling a fren recently,why do we have to think that we screw up all the time, just because soemone isnt happy with us...?

You can please some people all the time, all people soem of the time, but you can never please all the people all the time.

We are here right ? Alive and human. Why cant we give ourselves some credit for that ? Credit for us, just being what we are...

Thnx for reinstating that confidence in me.


Anonymous said...

Hey that was a wonderful post. Me, me, me, me. Thats a buzz word for me now. do all that pleases ME. do all that cherishes me. do all that gives an ego massage to me.....



Hammett said...

That's so nice.. by the way, who wishes to be 2 inches shorter.. ;) hehe... I haven't done anything good lately, for my best friend I. I should cook something nice for I. Cheers!! :)

Preethi said...

Started with so many conflicting ideas here. I was lost somewhere but loved the latter part of the post.... but then...after a while you tend to get weary of yourself too.... I know i'm being very negative here..... but the question is how much of urself can you take after a certain point of time? It is a kind of self-help stuff... but cannot last .... like everything else in this world, it is temporary ...

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Hi Solitaire,
How right you are that we should treat ourselves as our own best friend. Who else can understand us better than we ourselves. Let us just not overdo it for we may fall into the category of narcissism or vainglorious self adoration. And that is a far worse scenario than self recriminations. Thanks for the wonderful post. God bless you and your family. Have a great and fantastic day always.

Nick Phillips said...

Human beings are never ever satisfied with how they look.

Solitaire said...

@ Jeevy, I truly am not computer savvy..:(

@ Mez, I am doing well. And you? Will be online more from Monday onwards.

@ Vandita, Did you do something nice for yourself? I sure did!! And do so everyday!

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy, dont you stop doing that no matter how many people think you are crazy!! They wont take care of you. You have to take care of yourself!

@ Anjuli, :)

@ Cinderella, you are most welcome! Keep that chin up.

@ Ashu, never forget ME when THEY are putting you down. You are much more than what others may perceive you to be.

Solitaire said...

@ Hammett, you go do that. And let us know how it felt.

@ Preethi, in a world where not many stay with you through thick and thin, you have to be nice to yourself and keep that chin up. If you like yourself, I am sure you will enjoy your own company. If it feels temporary, come back and read the write-up again. :)

@ Mel, you are right! Too much of anything is bad. This write-up aims to remind people that in a world where insignificant people may pull you down, or important people may abandon you, you can always be your best friend and not feel lonely.

Solitaire said...

@ Nick, never?? I would say rarely or infrequently. Once upon a time, I loved the way I looked!

Lena said...

thats so much true and positive :)
If we dont love ourselves it is doubtful people would love you. We should start being content and happy with ourselves :)

c e e d y said...


i dont as i feel changing ones true nature if already killing your soul - and then you live a life which is basically like a puppet

these are the reasons i am back to sailing the seas of life all alone again :).....but i know and as you rightly said "this shall pass too" :)

btw - thank you for all your posts - they do help as therapy, let me know doc - if i owe you any fees :) (a professional asking another :)

Anurag said...

excellent blog i must say

i myself keep telling a few imp people in my life...the most important person in this world for me is me myself :o)

take care

Pavi!!!! said...

Celebratin "i" is sumthing we all WANT to do n WISH to do...but never quite easy to do..

I think in most cases appreciation coming frm others matter far more than wat one thinks of oneself...Personally I feel happier..when sumone tells me..
-I love wat u've cooked
- U look gorgeous
- U write well

etc etc etc.....instead of me feeling it myself.

Honestly isn't this the truth for all of us?

KPs Zone-Crystal clear said...


well said....

Its always....

Me, Myself & I

and then the rest.........

Solitaire said...

@ Lena. Yes! God helps those who help themselves!

@ Ceedy, yes. The day I am broke, I will hold you up to this and charge you fees. Till then, the service is free!

@ Anurag, yes! If you don't love yourself, you will not be able to love anyone else.

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi. I have met too many liars, hypocrites and backbiters in recent times to believe people when they say that I look good or write well. I would rather get that recognition from people who have no ulterior motives to do so. And in the event that does not happen, we have to grow to be independent and treat ourselves to that! I do not think my self-esteem depends on others.

@ KPs zone, absolutely!!

divya said...


Sam said...

I can't cook!!! :((
nice way of jotting down a very complicated theory!!

Pavi!!!! said...

I agree with u Sneha on being independent and not having our self-esteem depend on others...

I just wish I knew how to get there. I manage this esteem-thing well most times!!!..but with the persons who matter most to u....Can't help but yearn for their love, appreciation and kudos!