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Monday, March 17, 2008

Hum Tum IV



WHAT MEN WANT! (Ladies...are you reading???)

Here's what men said they would like women to be or not be..
These are verbatim (longer comments have been edited).
If for any reason your comment is not in here, drop me another comment about it!
Enjoy!

If only women would

..understand that there are things in this world other than love

..become a mother, would teach first the love and care to exist.

..show us how a soothing touch and a warm strengthen them for any trouble

(So while one man says there are other things besides love the other wants the woman to teach others how to love and even show how to touch...hmmmmmmmmmm)

..Stop behaving like men: No Cutting Hair Short, No Smoking, No Cussing.

..be women

..be a man for few days

(So while man does not want the woman to even behave like men, the other wants her to become a man for a few days, and yet another wants women to be women (as if they are something else now?)....LOL!)

..Shut up and not yap

..Talk Less

..realize that guys are not perfect but are willing to listen. :)

(Aaah..so this means that when they ask women to shut up they are not perfect but when they don't, they are willing to listen..right?)

..understand that mostly we don't understand :P

..try understanding a lil more better than they normally do!

..Understand men

(Aila!! A few want women to be more understanding but then another openly states that MEN will not understand, though...how fair is that?)

..be less vain and more sensible, there would be less tears to cry.

..allow us to pamper to our fulfillment

..stop behaving like grown ups when they want to treated like a child

(One man wants women to be less vain and more sensible, and the other wants to pamper and treat the woman like a child...maybe women should just act like sensible children..what say?)

..only know that they are always beautiful.

..not care too much about how they look :)

..realize, a world without men would mean, lots of happy fat women.

(Are you listening gals?? STOP going to the beauty parlor. Grow a moustache, let your eyebrows look like a unibrow, show off those hairy arms and legs. They profess that women not only should not care too much about how they look but also know that they are always beautiful. Even when you are fat.)

...understand that men are not the emotionless, heartless freaks that they are made out to be.. just because we do not say all the mushy talk expected out of us.

..understand that men are as sensitive as themselves if not more.

..Be less emotional.

(Ladies, PLEASE understand that men ARE emotional and sensitive but hey...you be less emotional, ok?)

..tell us how they can cry at the drop of a hat

..not start crying just when we are about to win an argument

(Ok..who wants to tell them about how the tear glands and physiology is different in men and women? Maybe they can read it themselves here.)

..keep their legs together, they could leash God!!!

(This guy clearly knows the difference between men and women's anatomy but how does religion come into the picture?)

..complete this sentence I wouldn't have been doing it.

..come with manuals or probably come out with an idiots guide to girls.

(OMG! Did these guys just admit that they do not know how to complete a task or that men are idiots????!)

.. realize the importance of an india-australia cricket match

..understand Men and Sports

..drink beer and watch sports

..
teach us how they can take on so much trouble and not bat an eyelid

(Ladies, can you please explain to the gentleman how you tolerate men and their obsession with sports without batting an eyelid?)

..understand that sports, sex and beer are really the only things that guys really care about.

..that NOT every man is a perverted jerk/asshole or whatever you call.

..understand the value of men, world would achieve peace for ever.

(WOMEN...when will you understand the value of men who value only sports, sex, and beer? Come on now..buck up!! And don't you call the men who value only sex, perverts, jerks or assholes ok????)

.. stop cribbing/bi*ching and start living.

..
say what's in their heart rather than expect guys to understand.

..
explain things rather than simple "hmpf!!"

..carry on being the sweet angels that they can be!!

(Let's be tactful girls. When you say what's in your heart, make sure that its not so much that it seems like you are bitching, and not as little as a hmpf but just enough to make you look like an angel and for men to understand, ok? And when you master that technique, stay that way!!!!)

..love me.

..be crazy about me.

..join my company(that too my section), i'll have better office life.

..
Realize Someday.. That they are not GOD..!!!

..Live and Let Live!

(Aww the first three chaps don't realize like their other counterparts yet that women are not GOD and you don't need them to live, not at home nor at work!)

..be a trifle less, life wud be simpler.

..not pretend and confess they like our chivalry.

(What does that mean? Ooops..I am a woman and I truly cannot understand! Were you being chivalrous with your first statement?)


..try being less judgmental upon meeting any stranger!

Ok men and women..don't be too judgmental in your comments so much so that Psychobabble turns out to be a battlefield for the battle of the sexes. Remember, this is part of the Hum Tum series. Meant to be funny. You can moan, groan, sigh, roll your eyes, and engage in any nonverbal behavior you want (no violence please!) but please no expletives or name calling!

Go for it!! Muhahahahahahahahahah!



82 Words of Wisdom:

Sunshine said...

This is surely gonna be an awesome post and I look fwd to the compilation.I do have a request of sorts.. If you could change the background color on the right hand side column with updates on it, it would be great, coz it is kind of hard to read black fonts on a dark bkgrnd :)

c e e d y said...

Off the topic - cool pic of yours reminded me of this rendition :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P79cVnDmzB0

enjoi

Sunshine said...

Thanks!!! This is soo much better! :)

Sweetstickychewy said...

Looking forward to reading the responses. Cheers!:D

SambY said...

m waiting beri beri eagerly....

Keshi said...

omg Im gonna get shot to death. :(

Keshi.

Sunil said...

Interesting!. :)

Mez said...

Letz c wat comes up.

rOhit said...

The way this post has been put up, clearly shows off another part of woman! :)

carolinagal said...

LOL!!! I liked how you grouped some of the comment. Made this post hilarious!!!

Alok said...

Bwahhhahahahah!!!

You are one awesome player, Solitaire.

Good, good. :)

Cinderella. said...

The way you grouped the comments for the renidition that you gave was just awesome...lol ! I'm waiting for the next part...

And your pic babe !!!
Hot hot hot !!!

aneri_masi said...

Hahahaha :) This is hilarious!

Vandita said...

this was truly in the hum tum spirit
really LOL ... am dead sleepy though to point out specifics but i really enjoyed ur comments in the post...
love...

Pavi!!!! said...

Hahahahaha..That was an excellent read Sneha.Hilarious! Good Job! n I can see u’ve added some pics as well! These men na..... ;-)

I can’t wait for HUM TUM V, which I guess will be “If only Men could”

BTW on a serious note I was surprised that no guy mentioned “If only women would stop comparing and complaining” . A whole bunch of women actually do that!

Sunshine said...

ROFL.. Read this post in the morning and then now again, with all the pictures added, that was a gr8 idea! Am laughing all over again!

carolinagal said...

Awesome pictures!!! Very fitting ;)

Keshi said...

Great post here Solitaire! This is a very real post cos it's all real men's quotes here. Very interesting to see some shocking expectations too LOL!


And I love the way u categorised em with ur comments as well. Neato!



**women should just act like sensible children

LOL! Good one Solitaire.



**: No Cutting Hair Short, No Smoking, No Cussing...

Mebbe when some men stop growing their hair,we'll stop cutting out hair too!

And wuts wrong with Cussing? Are only men entitled to Frustration and anger? WTF..I CUSS as long as I live ok!


And FYI Smoking isnt just a MALE owned habit. (altho I dun smoke and Im against it as well). Women and men in colder countries smoke for a reason...to keep warm. It's not a gender specific issue!



**come with manuals or probably come out with an idiots guide to girls.


lol sweet one :)


I'll come bak to comment more...too busy today. Catch ya later Solitaire!


Great post btw.


Keshi.

Keshi said...

and I was laffing at the pics hun...wonderful post with apt pics :):) LOL!

Keshi.

c e e d y said...

This is so typical of joining the non related dots to make some sense out of it!!!

Sweetstickychewy said...

Hmmm.only one thing popped in my mind as i read the post.

The words in ya last post which said i am not crazy i am just not you.

Looking forward to the woman's rendition.:)

Thanks for the effort Solitaire.:D

Cheers!

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy, AAahh..I am James Bond material. Cool!

@ Rohit, let's see how impartial I can be when I mock women in the next post.

@ Carolinagal, thanks!

@ Alok, you are no less..doing all that research in defense of men. LOL!

Solitaire said...

@ Cinderella, will ya girls kill me if I do the same for the next post? Thanks babe.

@ Aneri, thanks!! :) It was bound to be with all those comments.

@ Vandita, come back!! Hope you had sweet dreams after reading the post.

@ Sunshine, haha! I hope I don't begin crying when all the men start reacting..

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi, what f^$&$%$ expectations. LOL!!! Have a nice day!

@ Ceedy, typical of who or what?

@ Sweetsticky, we might need to use the phrase when we start saying mean things about men in the next post.

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi, one guy has mentioned "no bitching and cribbing, and start living your life"

I was actually surprised that no guy said make sure you wax and blah blah..they actually said do not care too much about how you look. I think that must have stemmed from someone waiting for two hours in the girl's living room to go out to dinnner.
LOL!!!

Keshi said...

Man I feel like a Woman!

lol great song too!


Keshi.

SambY said...

jess I enjoyed beri much by reading this .... you have made it hilarious as well.... now waiting for the what women waant section.

cheerz

Kalpana said...

Hehehe.....Men comment a lot on women and give the title with sense of humour women must read....heheh, but when we say, women don't write much about men like this since they have a lot of self confidence (that men don't), men can't take this with sense of humour......;)

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi, and I specifically made it a pink background for them. :)

@ Samby, thank you jee.

@ Kalpana, uh oh! Wait till you read Hum Tum V about what women have said!!

Neeku said...

You go Girl! This already looks fun... now waiting for what women have to say about men.

Iceman said...

**Are you listening gals?? STOP going to the beauty parlor. Grow a moustache, let your eyebrows look like a unibrow, show off those hairy arms and legs.

jhejhus! u can do that when all male humans on earth are extinct!

**Grow a moustache...
Err? can women really grow mustache? I dint know that? Gillete... satasat? women also? Ishtrange!

Keshi said...

I noticed that too LOL!

Someone said:

**...understand that men are not the emotionless, heartless freaks that they are made out to be..

isnt that a contradiction? If men r MADE OUT to be heartless, then they r. so dont ask women to understand something that isnt there.




Keshi.

Deobrat Singh said...

Funny and true... actually true and funny... We (men) are quite weird sometimes (or maybe most of the times!).
At the same time, I am sure someone can compile a list of women's comments as well (which would be as confused and contradictory as the comments from men are). Well, the internet is full of such compilations about women. Good to see the other side!


In my office, we have discussions with our female team-mates about how to develop better understanding amongst each other... but just like this post shows, we really don't know what we want from each other :-)

Satish Bolla said...

all i can say after reading this is a simple "wow". the way you grouped each comment is just awesome. really awesome. u rock, mate. u definitely are. looking forward for the girls comments post too

elusive said...

well put up :)
i know!!whats wit beer and football? And I give a damn what it all means those yellow red green cards..all i care abt is the men in shorts that make ur adrenaline shoot up ;) Which by the way is AGAIN a problem my guy has with me. hmmpf.

anonme said...

lol.. that was fun(ny)! :D

and nice pic.. :)

Anjuli said...

Awesome post!

But then...who really cares what men want:-P

Keshi said...

**If men r MADE OUT to be heartless, then they r.

what I meant by that is, if someone was seen as HEARTLESS, then they r.

LOL!

Keshi.

Lena said...

i guess they just dont know what they want...
You summed it up in a great way! :)

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

.. realize the importance of an india-australia cricket match

My dad would have loved that one

Ria said...

seriously hilarious post lady!u r really gud at it. :)

vEENs said...

hilarious!
totally!

more so coz of your commenst on each of them :D

Karthik S said...

This is really awesome... You rockin..

Cheers :-)

Deepti said...

you rock gal!! the way you have combined the comments is just awesome and so are ur comments!!!

BIG Omi said...

Dear Solitaire,
Good Attempt. Never Expected comments would come back as a BOOMERANG.

Although clubbing of different statements (actually opinions) was difficult to digest , it created a good sense of humor.

Awaiting sequel..
Hope to see it - WITHOUT PREJUDICE..

Sam said...

makes me wonder you know!!
an observation: wen in a group guys woudl come out with unanimous statements and trust me there wudn't have been teh stark contrasts!!
but wen left all alone, it seems some of them to tend to think in a different manner
btw, dat trifle less comment... do delete it.. coz its incomplete... i'll own up to dat one... there's a word missing... only i can't remember what it was.. and without it... the meaning gets twisted into a horror!! :(
am sorry for teh typo error...

Mez said...

One look at your post n seein the pics i was like...eh!I guess I am not on Solitairez blog..neva seen u sportin pics before.lol wil be back to read in my free hour.

Diva said...

Love it. Men are just as jacked up as they THINK women are.

This was a great post!

KP! said...

hahahah......that was good one...:)
BEER
SPORT
WOMAN

Thats how it is.....thats how it should be!

Prachi said...

ROFL

Awesome post. :D....

keep it going./....
cheers :)

carolinagal said...

Me not on your list of 'fellow bloggers'!! You don't like me :(
**sobs**

c e e d y said...

as a post - great work and good input - but on the whole looking at all the responses - just my thought that we all fall into this trap of conneting unrelated dots....me included - so this is what I meant typical....
by unrelated I mean every person who commented has had a personal experience to write what he/she wrote....(see this is what happens when one thinks a lot :()

rayshma said...

love d new pic... very bond-gurl like... :D
now, to the post... VERY interesting to know... :0)
nobody sed "if only women would not feign headaches...?" lol!

Cinderella. said...

No way ! You know we're gonna luurrve it !!

So bring it on...!!

carolinagal said...

Waiting for Hum Tum V!!

Solitaire said...

@ Neeku, I am sure that is going to be equally funny.

@ Iceman, did you not know that women can grow moustaches? Tcchh tchhh..go ask a woman. She will tell you.

@ Keshi, that statement was too complicated for men who profess that they really do not understand.

@ Deborat, I think the next post might tell us that men and women essentially want the same things from each other but just cannot give it to each other.

Solitaire said...

@ Satish, nice to hear that from a MAN!

@ Elusive, no hmmpphs allowed. Remember? Say clearly what you want to say but in an angelic manner.

@ Anonme, thanks!! :)

@ Anjuli, but i thought that you are a man! LOL!

Solitaire said...

@ Lena, OR they all want different things!!! And no matter what we do, they will never be pleased.

@ Bubbles, I wonder what your dad will say to the other ones, though.

@ Ria, thanks! :)

@ Veens, haha! Thank you! Hey...need your email address..

Solitaire said...

@ Karthik, thanks!

@ Deepti, thank you!!

@ Big Omi, I am not sure if the next one will be unbiased or not. May make fun of the men again.

@ Sam, hahah!! Harm is done!! Let it be there. Adds to the humor!

@ Mez, true..posting pics first time on Psychobabble but Warm Fuzzies and Calm Frenzies ALWAYS have pics!

Solitaire said...

@ Diva, true! and some even admitted that!

@ KP, go ahead and buy that t-shirt! I don't think your wife will let you wear that so sport it while you are single!

@ Prachi, come back for the next one!

@ Carolinagal, noooooo...nothing like that..I just know your blog's name by heart.

Solitaire said...

@ Ceedy, don't think too much. Just enjoy it while you can. You might love the next one since I MIGHT be snubbing the women!

@ Rayshma, hahahha!! Nice one. Maybe people have not reached that stage yet. :)

@ Cinderella, maybe tomorrow!

@ Carolina, patience pays!

R3d3MpTioN said...

nice nice .. glad to see my comments were put to good use... :) will be awaiting Hum Tum V with baited breath ..

btw you luking ekdum jhakaas in the shades ..

carolinagal said...

Hehe, I was only kidding sweetie :)

Keshi said...

lol haha solitaire!

Keshi.

Ankur said...

haha...
Really!!!

may be it can be man or some men, but not MEN, certainly not!!!(after reading the whole thing)
oh guess, generalisation, cool, but there isnt any law of physics or chemistry which certainly say men would behave in this way, or rather i shld say, other than internal factors, there are few environmental factors which can change the behavior of men, or for any human for that matter.

I really loved reading this post coz i understood how can we be mistaken in this moron world, guess this is not others fault but their sorroundings have made them think like this.

I also understand that its Men who at times use, utilize and throw, but at the same time, noone can sit at the top of ur head, or someone telling you whats right and whats wrong... Women certainly dont want men to or wat tat matter no one!!!

I guess wat i have written is also funny, as demanded !!! :D
:D

And oh.. yes, we want you to be mother, sister, wife, daughter and friend...
For sure i do... coz tat is wat u r best at!!!

And yes, men do love sports... :D
abt beer, i dont know :-/

Sam said...

Gosh, am laughing!! MEN!!! :P

Solitaire said...

@ Redemption, thank you!! Next post definitely in the next couple days.

@ Ankur, in other words you just called me a moron for making those interpretations. I guess I should go ahead and add a comment to the next poll. If only men would have a sense of humor.....

@ Sam, tchh tcch...don't make generalizations. Ankur will analyze it.

Ankur said...

acha acha.. cool down.. :D

yaa.. how come i know u r so intelligent!!! :D

dharmabum said...

this is fun :)

Sam said...

hey, but i never meant that!!! dats not fair!! :(

btw, can't access some of ur blogs.. u upto soemthing??

Mez said...

@ Ankur - This really didnt need so much critcal analysis i feel. All in gud humour...aprreciate it boss.

@ Solitaire - This was mast. Waitin for part V.

gunj said...

crazy ones thr!!
cool post!

nik said...

thanks for putting the t-shirt picture referencing my comment ...very apt !!

can't wait for the women's version.

Satish Bolla said...

well, as someone pointed out "may be it can be man or some men, but not MEN, certainly not!!!", i go with him. even though there is battle of sexes for ages, we can't live without each other. at least, i feel so.

P said...

great job! shows how confused men are ..hihi..make us look good in the next one :)

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Wow, you really collected them all. You are indeed a meticulous person, more of a researcher. I'm sure the ladies will get a lot of info from this post. Thanks and God bless.

Anjuli said...

nahin nahin bas via Mars aayi hoon, woman hi hoon re :-)

SwAtI SeThI said...

Awesome fun post... :)
good work solitaire!

can't wait for Hum Tum V... :) cheers!

Raghu Iyer said...

gujjuben...
"maanvi tho pedha thayo
ne joyu ye tho maanav thayo
koi stree tho koi purush thayo
maathruthva tattva koi ne malyu
tho koi ne purushatva
bane maanav
ee tho maanaas kaa tho manas kehvaai
maanvi ye tho maanvi
je they thayo
ishwar kaaran banyo
koi kaain pan banyo
pan hoi jo buddhi
they sarve banyo"

Raghu Iyer said...

read a book on psychology
its but psychology
read a mind in front of you
and that too is psychology

psychology a subject which talks about the unseen and then too existing mind in the cage known as brain...where brain transforms into mind and mind transforms into varieties

that which is in the books is,
but, the findings in minds about other minds!

mocking and mockery of the minds or understandings and knowledge of minds,

whether psychologists are psychologists or just a junk of those who read books to understand human minds...

read a brain as a behaviour and read the behaviours as traits and then as habits and then as heredity...

what does one gain from a psychologist is just an imprint of what the psychologist can give...of his or her own mind with knowledge of other minds...

judgemental and experimental ways of gaining knowledge...

tell me, what is psychology all about?

its our mind trying to know the unknown other minds...

Pri said...

woww...that was SOMETHING!!
wayy to go girl...u bashed them up with their own words ;)

i guess im a lil late to comment...normally im the first one to cheer for such posts..heehee

Ankur said...

sense of humor... ;)

@Mez... sometimes u need to write what u think, dont need someone tellin how one shld take it.
Still, if i have hurt anyone, then i m sorry :)

@Solitare
its just being honest wat i felt. :)