Beauty..the much coveted attribute. Sighs of relief ,when a baby is born fair-skinned in India, are commonalities. Children these days aim to be Miss Universe. Teenagers read Cosmo Girl and persuade their gullible and giving parents to pay green to straighten their hair. Young women live through crash diets and find more to experiment with. And the others ogle at them, reinforce them, and say, "WOW! You are so skinny. I wish I were like you" or "She is so beautiful".
Beauty...the most coveted attribution and perhaps, the least useful for a worldy woman. What use are admiring glances and compliments apart from the momentary sky-rocketing self-esteem and maybe, some unwanted vanity? Heard of derogatory terms such as bimbos? I also take the word "chick" to heart. I do not wish to be a doll for someone to look at until they are bored with it or the object of someone's lustful fantasies.
Beauty..the most coveted attribution and perhaps, also a curse. Your face value remains your only value. People fail to appreciate your intelligence, your hard work, your qualities, and your achievements. And when they do, its usually a "Beauty with Brains" comment...with a topping such as "a rarity".
Is that really true? Do beauties rarely have brains or do we fail to pay attention to their brains because we are so smitten by their beauty, because beauty in our minds is more glamorous, or because beauties are not that common? People often ask me why I dont exercise to enhance my curves, of course in not such an explicit way. They also ask me to go get my hair done or to wear certain shades of lipstick. They are often appalled that I dont like to wear make up to work. I only say, "Thank you very much. I love my Vicco Turmeric. That suffices!"
Thanks, and pay attention to the beauty within.
*Repost*
Just My Thing
15 years ago
73 Words of Wisdom:
beauty is quite subjective, no? i mean, to me... ALL my friends are really beautiful. bcoz i love them.
yes, it is a superficial, media-driven world there... but i'd rather prefer being with people who see the farce.
and heyy, i know a lot of beautiful women who're rather intelligent... u, included.
as always , u succeed in making me think with ur prose...
i remember complimenting u the same compliment once :) ... never thought abt it in the perspective u presented... never occured to me that the fairer sex wud take the statement as an offence on themselves....;)!
@ Rayshma. Yes. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. Dark is beautiful to some while fat is beautiful to some others. But the media does portray very rigid images of beauty that the public likes to blindly follow.
And hey, thanks for the compliment.
Hmmm.. I don understand the whole drama abt losing weight and looking good! Most people i know are beautiful as they are with those curvy curves.. As for make-up? Well i don like that either! As a rule i don read beauty magazines and the few times that i was made to look into one(my stupid dentist's waiting room has only beauty mags for some stupid reason!) i was horrified at the money, time n energy ppl can spend on such things!
Oh! "the beauty with brains" cliche? I always thought brains IS beauty!
I cannot stand superficiality and sometimes it makes me wanna scream out loud!
PS:Vicco? Wow! I like its smell.. :)
@ Mohak, You know, as I said in my post, such compliments do give momentary pleasure. So I do appreciate your compliment. :) And not everyone out there might think like me. I personally know some women out there who thrive on these compliments and cling on to them for ages. In fact, some of these women use orkut as a great medium to flaunt of their beauty and asking everyone, "how do I look in this display pic?", "did you check my album", blah blah!! And when people say "great!" out of politeness or truthfully, they are on cloud 9. Haan..one argument for these women could be that they don't have "brains". *chuckle*
well of course it is a clishee... it is just that from beautiful women people expect less and when they give their 100% everyone seem to be surprised.
Besides people are vain and we know very well that many mothers told to their kids that if they are beautiful they would achieve anything and everything. And when the girls grow up they dont feel a need to work hard for getting something they can get without visible efforts. I am not talking about all people but only a certain group.
But like we all know beauty is a relative concept. Today you are, tomorrow you are not. Brains is something which is always with you :)
great post hun and TY for this! I wrote a post along the same lines long time ago. I asked the SAME qns! I cant believe u and I r so alike :) Luvin it!
**Do beauties rarely have brains or do we fail to pay attention to their brains because we are so smitten by their beauty
Spot on! Thats what it is. Alot of ppl look at a beautiful girl and immeditately think 'o she's beautiful, her brains cant be that great'. Its a society's point of view that seems to be a rule now.
We've just got to scratch beyond the surface, beautiful or not, to find out the real person.
Keshi.
Its so true about people saying "beauty and brains: a rarity".
Almost more annoying than women luring in compliments thru orkut and such, is the attitude of rating people not so glam looking as "not beautiful" or "shes so ugly" etc.
Hey why did you remove the links to your other blogs from this one...?
That was so convenient !!!
Couldja do that again plz ??
Well, you have raised some interesting questions...well, I think it is difficult to have definitive answers:
"Do beauties rarely have brains or do we fail to pay attention to their brains because we are so smitten by their beauty, because beauty in our minds is more glamorous, or because beauties are not that common?"
I have (and I am sure most of us) come across different combinations of the above traits among women-and I feel that beauty and brains can be at perfect peace with other (though Shakespeare would disagree...remember, his famous saying in "As you like it"??). And yet, I am so tired of the Beauty with Brains comment ...it is so gendered....we never use that when we find really witty men with good looks....it is unfortunate that way we have been socialized and it is even more unfortunate that gender still controls most of our actions.
And even in this so called liberal, "developed" country I feel the same, though it is a little more subtle...we are all the same when it comes to appreciating women....amazing equality in perceptions across nations!
**Vicco Turmeric, Nahi Cosmetic,
Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic cream....
Now this jingle is ringing in my head.... me too looooovvvvee Vicco...
And as far as beauty goes... at times the whole world is sort of drunk over it... its sad ... but people do that...
One of friend is really really really Model pretty types... But is so stupid ... that she asked me once during her exam,
"Neetal who invented study?"
I was so annoyed with her idiotic questions that... it didn't even made me laugh... at her empty skull.
Absolutely true... As they say appearances are deceiving. Good looks will probably attract one's attention. But that sure isn't enough for one to fall in love.
Now, lest asume ... that you have to chosse a life partner ... would that person rather be beautful or be intelligent. Don't forget, that you have to stick to this person for your life. In the long run, beauty (the surface kind, not the inner one) fades out as one ages ... intelligence ... it goes on. Would you rather life your life with a dumb bimbo or an intelligent wife? Now imagine you and your significant other at the old age of 70 odd ... where you cant run around trees making merry like they do in our hindi movies..hehe.. Now hadnt it been great if your better half were smart and witty enough to carry a good conversation rather than being a worn-out piece of eye-candy??
‘don’t judge a book by its cover’
Its better that we concentrate on undrestanding a given person for his/her real defects and qualities.
We all have flaws.. but then its godd that our qualities compensate thse flaws n make them less obvious....
All beutiful persons are not stupid too. beauty with brains does co exoist....
We have the tendency to look at a beautiful person and say She or he must be stupid! We say that just to comfort ourselves and to avoid envy All i would like to make a poit on is... always... give a second thought before saying about a crtain person that he /she is stupid because you might have the surprse of discovring that you are in no way better than that person.
in ques...
lolz..sorry for the looong comment..:-)
cheerz
where do u get vicco turmeric in usa??? ... is that too exported from here.. gud... lolz..or do u carry ur stock over when u come to india....lolz was this just a jingl eeffect for the post n u dnt use vicco turmeric....hahahah
and yes... brain is the most important thing indeed....we can have beauty by paying money for plastic surgery..so to have money we must have a nice intelligent brain capable of making that much money brain..ha ha ha..
so much being said about beautiful, guys have one more phrase to say ....."you are cute". now does that mean beautiful or just another way of adulation?
thts wat everyone cares abt beauty....( as per media and ad gurus...beauty = fairness). for a rare section it means inner beauty and thts what matters more. :)
Reminds me of a line i read somewhere: "Beauty Lies in the Pants of beholder". Totally disagree though. But yes, the trends are changing, the definitions are changing, the point of views are changing. And in the middle of this all I am feeling like an old man with no taste of beauty!
Hi,Solitaire-that's a nice one...they say 'Beauty is only skin-deep',but,is it really so in the eyes of the beholders?Not really,at least,not in a majority of cases.
What causes this craze?First and foremost,the media.Secondly,one's need to be noticed and appreciated.
Vicco Turmeric-the balm for all beauty queries-I remember their ads in Baroda's cinema halls some years back-it was traditional to have that wedding scene waala ad,before the start of any movie.Just like(I hear)it was necessary to play the national anthem in the hall before each movie.:)
Lastly,the last quip'Pay attention to the beauty within'...I am,I do!!hehe.:)
beauty will fade away...even if u have it :)
Err,is the title correct?U're a Gujjuben?:)(Me asking coz my hometown is Baroda,albeit,I'm not a Gujju)
vicco turmeric? nahi cosmetic...vicco turmeric ayurvedic cream? lolz
Great post, kuch tho seekhe log tumse :)
have read this before :-)
and I love all my fairness ceams hehehe...
Firstly, I love that song, thanks for bringing it back to me :)
well .. about beauty, I would say it does play a part, atleast initially. Have thought about the same issue a lot of times, and have always wished that I was someone who didn't give much heed to it, like loving someone for the person he/she is rather then the outlook .. and may be it might come with time .. more time spent with someone ..
and i'll let you know the day i achieve this ..
cheers
yaar ,the point is inner beauty is true beauty..but how can one judge someone in 1 or 2 meetings...someone said 'face is the index of mind'...although it's not true for everyone...but the first expression is the external beauty....true beauty come second to be honest...but a close one :P
wayy to go girl!!
but then how many of us wouldent want to look beautiful eh?
the statement 'beauty is skin deep' has been sadly limited to only beauty paegents and blogs these days :(
just today, my neighbours 4 year old told my mom that she wanted to be 'mallaika' when she grew up...sigh!!
can u imagine that?? she absolutely loves her...gone are the days when kids used to aspire to become 'doctors' or 'engg' or any other profession :(
come to think of it,how many of us still worry about our weight, zits, tans...its a diff thing that we might not do anything about it (probably because some of us are too lazy while others are too busy)but then we do worry right?? :p
i think there is nothing wrong in wanting to look good but i guess what is more important is 'feeling good' :)
and THAT is a matter of attitude not beauty!
cheers!!
ohh...but i seriously cant believe u use vicco??? :o
wowww ...they should make u their grand ambassador or sumthin :D
@ Lena, very sad situation when mothers do that to their children but I guess that's what the mothers grew up with. And this is a world where the fittest survive.
@ Niyara, this attitude is even more annoying when people reject matrimonials based on pictures (like they are beauty queens or studs themselves).
@ Black coffee, Yes. I do love Vicco and use it religiously. Funny part is that I started using it only three years ago. I consider that my daily make up. Its really ridiculous of how much time (as well as money) that people spend on make up. My classmates wake up at 6 in the morning to be able to get ready for an 8:30 class.
Being beautiful definetly improves one's self-esteem. No doubt...but only intially. After a few days, the beautiful sooo gets used to hearing "u look gr8, u look like a star" blah blah..she wants to hear sumthing different. n then she begins to doubt any guy who approches her..Is he calling me 'coz he thinks im interesting to talk to or just 'coz i look nice. n once that doubt sets in...pleny of relationships start getting complicated unnecessarily!
n yeah rgdg men...im kinda okay with the metro-sexual man n all..but personally im not a big fan of men who pay too much attention to their look. I can't imagine my man getting a facial and manicure and pedicure. Thats yikeeeeees for me!
Hey Solitaire,
I had written something on this long time bak..when i was fed up of hearing stupid statements about "beauty".
I always believe that 'beauty is skin-deep'..hence, i used the word beautiful only for those people who are special within.. sadly, majority of people dont think like that.. its weird!! i often hear statements like..'i just want a beautiful wife' from my friends..it disgusts me..they think there's nothing to a female other than her exterior persona..
many at times i was told..'i shd get a good figure else my bf wd leave me'.. 'i shd apply make-up & get stylish hair-do's so that ppl take notice..n i can leave an impression'.. i find it sickening.. i love the way i am..yes, i shd work on my fitness etc..but beauty to me doesnt hold such a shallow meaning...
i think ppl dont want to pay attention to brains..a female is expected to symbolize 'beauty'... great figure,flawless skin & the works.. people dont appreciate brains coz they never really want to move beyond the physical appearance..
i am the girl that keshi is talking abt!
I am the man that Keshi wont talk to
I need help too
I want to be admitted to the blog goddess blog
my mornings are not the same ever since keshi told me to go F**k my self
excuse the lang
its her words
u r beautiful Swathi
Yes pretty or sexy is not beautiful
beauty gets better with age
but skin wrinkles
boobs sag
that tight ass soon gets flabby and moves like jelly when u walk
This is a fantastic post!
I personally feel that beauty only goes a short distance. A beatiful outlook but a bad or not so impressive inward attitude usually makes eyes go blind on their beauty after a while. Yet again, beauty could take people places where not-so-beautiful people work hard to go. I personally feel that though that might seem like an advantage. Its pretty sad when people only go on surface to exclude a better candidate.
As the phrase go, beauty is skin deep. Its really all about how we carry ourselves i realise. Grooming ourselves could be an additional bonus. But at the end of the day Its really about what you think of yourself.
I love this post.
@ Cinderella, they are still up. You cannot see them?
@ Ergodic, its almost as if women were meant to look at and nothing beyond that, so when they open their mouth and utter something intelligent, everyone is flabbergasted.
@ Neeku, so your point..you have a friend who is a beauty without brains proving that beautiful women have no brains.
@ Deobrat, Its really sad when people fall in love with good looks. I wonder what happens when those looks fade away with age. Will those people then go looking for fresher pastures?
@ Samby, you say all beautiful persons are not stupid too. Do we every say that all ugly people are intelligent too? Just because someone is pretty we assume they are not intelligent but we never assume the other way round.
@ Samby, we do get Vicco in the Indian stores at 5 bucks a tube. But I am smart! I ask every friend who goes to India to bring one tube for me. :) I do use Vicco religiously, everyday!!
@ Prachi, cute essentially means nice looking but not hot. Guys are totally into checking girls out. I do not think we check guys out the way they do. We look at other factors too.
@ Ashish, what do you mean viewpoints are changing? Have you seen any indian matrimonial ads lately? Wanted slim, fair, good looking girl for a good looking well-educated man and shit like that.. Still prevails.
@ Amit, you are right. Media is playing a huge role in defining what beauty is and thus the world is producing more and more anorexic girls trying to maintain a waist of 25 inches.
@ Veens, but people do not realize it. They think that products and surgeries will help them.
@ Rahul, in that sense then the not so beautiful never get a fair chance, don't you think?
@ Divya, no people will not seekhofy anything from here. Maybe the readers here understand. The broader society does not.
@ Anjuli, surely you are getting some reinforcements to love them.
@ Anuj, if you were to have an arranged marriage, would you pay more attention to the beauty before committing or would you give a fair chance to the person and try to know them better regardless of how they look? To be honest, people will reject matrimonial offers if they don't like a picture, right away.
@ Pri, I agree. Nothing good in wanting to look good. I hate the attitude that people have that those who look good are stupid. And yes, I do use Vicco EVERYDAY!
@ Pavi, that is very true. The beautiful girl will wonder if people are appreciating her for anything else or not, and if she feels that that's not the case, she will do everything to make sure her beauty is there to stay.
well bout beauty shudnt speak.....
but i luv gals who r quite plum...not skinny types..(cant understand who calls victoria beckham a sex symbol)..
but tat doent mean a gals figure shudnt b like a gigrate pack...ther must b some curves...
bout beauty with brains....are we asking 4 too much..lols..
tat was cigrate pack if u dint get tat....lols..
Beauty is not the same as grooming, good manners, deportment, etiquette, all of which need not necessasrily be concomitant with physial beauty. I believe in charm, sex appeal, intellectual compatibility and wit to enjoy the company of a woman. Beauty is relevant to some extent till one marries. After that there are other ways of keeping the husband under one's thumb, notnecessarily by constant upg radation and maintenance of one's beauty. Personality in its totality is what matters.
The MCP in me can't resist from taking a cheap shot.
"Smart chic" = oxymoron
honestly though, I'd pick a girl with intellect over a trophy wife any day of the week (and twice on Sunday!) :)
I want an invite to your SHRINK private blog
That is what i meant, i personally feel all that is crap. And this is the precise reason why i feel outdated with my taste of beauty.
I would anytime prefer an intelligent female rather than a dumb blonde.
But anyways, YES! Beauty with Brains is NOT rare anymore. It does exists. And I know perhaps some of the best examples for it. :)
I said not all beautiful ppl are stupid... uska corollary hua.. not all ugly ppl are intelligent.....not ki all ugly ppl are intelligent.. when we see sumone beautiful.. maybe we say they r stupid...just to comfort ourselves and to avoid envy.
Maybe when v see sumppl ugly..those subconcious complexes dnt come into play n we dnt say that all ugly ppl are intelligent...
we say beutiful is stupid to give ourselves an egde over their beuty.. and we dnt say ugly ppl are intellignet so as to keep n edge over them...
I dunno..did i make my point clear?? hehe..
"Your face value remains your only value." this sounds good. thought of writing a lot but been busy. sorry
21st century onwards..beauty is not only inner and outer beauty also means how smart u r..since in most of beauty contest u will find..only good physique person r not selected but they should smart also..u can not define beauty,its like ocean.Whatever you love is beautiful; love comes first, beauty follows. The greater your capacity for love, the more beauty you find in the world...jane smiley
Beauty within is more important than any........ The rest must be care to be taken.....
Aaargh! such posts make me think!
I can never stick to one answer!
-I
@ Swati, you are right! Some of the readers say that the world is changing but I think it is at a very slow pace. I find people in the 20's, well-educated, from good family backgrounds saying things like "I want a fair husband/wife so that my kids are fair." I think people do appreciate the brains but brains are internal. Chances of showing them are only when the opportunity arises. Hence, people focus more on the beauty.
@ Jim, sorry. I am not Keshi's secretary. I cannot help you.
@ Sweetstickychewy, I wonder how many not so intelligent candidates get selected for a job position just because they dressed better or looked better than someone else that day.
@ Nirmal, no comments. I hope you get the beauty that you desire as your partner. apparently, according to you, you will also be stuck with a brainless bimbo.
@ Vasanth, but what about the part that beauty is more important before marriage? Isnt that hypocrisy?
@ Ashish, no actually you are not outdated. You have fresher views.
@ Nik, smart chic=oxymoron? So tell me, is your girlfriend not smart or not chic?
@ Rohit, but why even use terms such as "beauty with brains" is my question? Do we simply have to add that beauty piece into it? And if yes, do we have to join it with the intelligence?
@ Samby, corollary and all is not my cup of tea. Besides, I have been out of school too long to even remember what corollary means. Your point is clear.
@ Satish, no worries. Do write when you find the time.
@ Rakesh Kumar, well in a beauty contest, they do take in preliminary applications only from those who are beautiful and have certain statistics right? Why don't they ask for someone's IQ score instead and then see how beautiful they are?
@ Kalpana, true.
@ Impressionist, think think..
lolz..corollary kaha padi jati hai yaad hai par meaning yaad nahi ..aisa kaise???
i saw that response coming (from a mile away)
lets just leave it at .... she is an exception and not the norm. :)
well i said plum...which is not taken as beauty..(skinny is in thing).....
dumb??? did i say anything bout blondes lols
So my dear Sol, I went and bought Vicco Turmeric yesterday. Aaj lagaya, hubby was kissing me bye, and went....what's that smell????
LOL :)
Oh, I don't know what the whole fuss is about :( If it is not wrong to not use make-up, then it is not wrong to use it either, it is not wrong to spend time and money in grooming yourself either. If that is what you want, that is.
I am not advocating over-the-top spending on cosmetics to hide your age or whatever, I am speaking about general "presentation".
If a little bit of color makes me look nicer, why should I not use lipstick? Is it going to take away my brains? I want to look pretty, so I do. Thats it. Its not to prove anything to anyone. Its not to compete with anyone. Its not to grab attention. Its all for ME.
And in all fairness, doesn't it make you feel happier to see a well put-together person, than someone who has barely gotten out of bed, and brushed their hair, thrown on whatever clothes they could find and rush out the door? To me, the first type is a person in charge, in control of their lives, the second one, living in chaos. Won't you pay more attention to what someone in a suit is saying than to someone in torn jeans?
I know I have just as much brains as my face is pretty, but being smart doesn't mean I should not exercise and be in shape as well. Folks ogle at me (guys and sometimes girls as well, here in the SF area!) But so what, I like to look good, just because someone notices me, I am not going to stop fixing my hair or wear bags for clothes. It is up to me how much importance I give to others' comments/ogling.
I know there is nothing wrong in being "big", but will it make me "unreal" if I say I hate even one inch of flab on my belly? I don't like it, so I get rid of it. Not because someone will call me fat, or not like me, or whatever.
If I want to spend 20 minutes in the morning straightening my hair because I hate the frizz, instead of sleeping, why shouldn't I? Its my time! I am not dolling up for someone else to look at, I am dolling up because I do not want to be shabby and raggedy. Does this mean I am not "wisely" spending my time?
I like to be very presentable at any hour of day. And I think I owe it to anyone who looks at me that I not be an eyesore to them as much as I can help it.
Maybe I got the entire meaning of this post all wrong, but this is what came to my mind when I read it.
Just thought I'd add a little disclaimer to my previous comment, that I was referring to no one in particular (except for myself of course, when I said "I" and "me")
@ Aneri, wow that was a super long comment. Valuable but you are right. You did get some of the content wrong. The post is not questioning beauty. The post is questioning the phrase "beauty with brains" and why there is a need to add that when you see someone beautiful and intelligent. Thanks anyway. :)
And enjoy your vicco. I love it.
@ Nirmal, good luck nevertheless. You will need it.
gal u r scarying meeeee...
The pains women go through, the huge beauty packages that they spend on are crazy man..there are kaya skin clinics and vlccs and wat nots sprouting like mushrooms all over..skin whitening treatments that cost a fortune and slimming dieting techniques tat rid u of all your money and enerdy and plus there are advertisments that go on the lines of - u shall end up being a confident woman only if u are fair so go buy our cream- crap! i had a friend who wore padded bras ALL THE TIME. How much inconvenience are you gonna cause urself just to get some dumb male's attention. Ughhhh.
i think u had posted this earlier...
beauty is all about perception..i don't mind what people think about my beauty...whatever others comment on me about my physique i tell thank you..bye.If u will see last 20year beauty contest winner u will find some were ugly also that's my perception..that's why i mentioned by my opinion no one can define beauty
Yes. The inner beauty and a cosmetic-less face is the real.
Beauty and intelligence are both relative. Can't judge a person with these attributes.
A good write-up
I think its because of the fad-crash-n-whatnot diets that bimbos are produced. Well okay, thats what they were aiming for, but only the body aspect. But what actually happens is that their brain becomes dull of undernutrition too.
I formed this theory once upon a time when I was not eatin well myself and was coincidentially (or should I say causally) acting pretty airheaded and unable to do basic taliking/thinking well myself.
Disclaimer:
I wasn't not eating well trying to acheive 'beauty'. Actually its quite good for guys. We have to rather eat more and healthy to acheive 'beauty'. But there are always other causes.
HEHEHE, AND I LOVE MY VICCO VAJRADANTI.
My kids ask me why dont we use Colgate or Pepsodent in today's globalised world.
I m proud to find a Vicco buddy out here.
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