Thursday, March 6, 2008

User Manual on Cheating

Look to the right of this page for the responses to a poll conducted in the last couple days on the subject of cheating. There are more people who have cheated on their partners or have considered it than the ones who think that cheating is an absolute No-No! Disturbing, isn't it?

This post is a repost not read by many of you. I think it is a post that should be posted over and over again. Not enough can be said about this.

Are you cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend or significant other?

Then you surely need a user manual to do so, for research says that the truth always comes out! Also, there are some "poor" cheaters out there who always get caught sooner than the mean of the population. So if you want to improve your cheating skills, here is a user manual for you. There is no guarantee that your partner won't find out but he/she will find out later than the average population does.

1. Always delete your text msgs to your lover-inbox/sent/trash...all folders.

2. The same applies to your emails.

3. Make sure that you "do stuff" discretely, not in public.

4. Make sure you don't absolutely have this need to "have a girls night out" or "hang out with the guys" every single night.

5. Make sure that you have a different telephone line to talk to your lover and that you always answer your partner's phone calls.

6. Make sure you get rid of all receipts of the flowers you sent or the movies you saw together.

7. Make sure that you don't bring back the scent of his/her perfume on your clothes when you return home.

8. Make sure you don't talk in your sleep at night and blurt out what you are dreaming about.

9. Make sure that you have sworn your friends to secrecy if they know about your "adventures". perhaps get the hang of absolutely careful!

However, this manual is not complete without the next set of tips. Last but not the least:

10. Make sure that your heart is made of steel because you WILL eventually lose the one who is oblivious about your deeds and continues to be loyal to you...if not completely, at least a part of them.

11. Be prepared for your lover to leave you for someone else, just like you left your partner for him/her.

12. Be prepared to live a life filled with guilt, and hopefully some remorse.

13. Be prepared for people to point fingers at you.

14. Be prepared to lose some of your friends who will disapprove of what you did.

15. Be prepared to live a lonely life full of insecurities.

16. Be prepared to be cheated on for what goes around comes around.

Hope this user manual is helpful to those out there who think variety is the spice of life. Maybe it is, but there will be a price to pay for it. Willing to do so..go for it!! If you think, that you have a right to be happy and are not happy in your current relationship, GET OUT OF IT and then find another partner.

My advice for the victims (their partners)..hang in there!! Everything happens for a reason!

Thanks, and stay loyal.

40 Words of Wisdom:

Cinderella. said...

Ola..girl !!!
A lotta food for thought..
Btw, I never took part in the poll.
Hope your readers are listening to what ou said.

The readers os Solitaire,
Guys/Gals...listen to this Psychologist babe. She got the right vein there.

Pri said...

a wonderful post...
all the cassanovas of the world should be made to read this :)
hopefully if their conscience is still alive, it might bring about a change...
but sneha, just think about it...if what goes around comes around, then what about those ppl
who inspite of never having cheated on anyone, end up having to face betrayal?
why did that victim who had never once got it going around, still get cheated on??
ever given that a thought?

not everything which has managed to come around to you necessarily has to be gone around from u...sometimes things just happen and u are forced to believe in the 'theory of randomness'

or is it what they call 'fate'?? i dunno...
and then again, what really determines our fate??
gawd!! we could have a never ending discussion on this..i think i'd better stop!

anuj said...

Firstly, how do we define cheating here. Is it only sleeping with someone else when you already have a GF? or Is it even thinking about a different person when you already have someone to think about?

And yes, those last few points were important, cause that is the darn Reality. Be prepared to be cheated!!


Ria said...

Hey thats a beautiful post and i completely agree with what u hav said...hope more ppl read it and realise hw things can go wrong...

IR said...

i agree with you it is better to walk / get out , then to cheat on someone

Nemesis said...

The post is a beauty :D
Nice facts!! hehe! A guide that should be very helpful when you're flirting around. ;)
And yes, I can probably write a better manual. Or maybe even you can. Who knows ;)

Hey hey! This doesn't mean ki I was cheating on someone. Mutual flirting, is the word.. hehe!
It's fun, not a crime!!

Solitaire said...

@ Cinderella, do you want to be my marketing person? :)
I just read your post again. Its so wonderful.

@ Pri, I think what goes around comes around is always used for people who have done something bad as a way to punish them and for people who have done good as a way to give them solace and patience. So maybe this statement is not applicable to the victims in that sense. All I can say to the victims is, if you have been loyal to your partner, then you will find someone who is loyal to you. What goes around comes around. I dont know if I am explaining it well enough.

Solitaire said...

@ Anuj, I had taken emotional and physical cheating both into consideration during the poll. I consider both cheating, not necessarily sex alone.

@ Ria, thank you!

@ IR, yes but sometimes people want to have their cake and eat it too.

@ Nemesis, go for it! Write a better manual. We need more of those around. BTW, this post is NOT about flirting but about cheating. And according to some people, even flirting is considered to be cheating.

Neeku said...

A Useful Manual Indeed.... Man I found it late :( Or else I would have Gifted (with all my love) this Copy to a special person I knew log time go !

Cinderella. said...

**do you want to be my marketing person? :)**

No sweat, if you gonna pay me well..
So whats the deal ??


**I just read your post again. Its so wonderful.**

Aww...thnx hun.
And your's are an inspiration...

Deepali said...

If you think, that you have a right to be happy....GET OUT OF IT and then find another partner.

I couldn't agree more. I always keep thinking the same thing. Why don't people leave their partners before they decide to cheat? I guess it's the whole wanting the cake and wanting to eat it too. Of course it's more complicated sometimes.

Btw what do you mean by 'hang in there' (to the victims)? I think they should get out as fast as possible from that relationship. It doesn't make sense to be with someone who doesn't care/love/respect you enough to be loyal to you.

Pri said...

@ solitaire
yaa...explained well enough...i got ur point :)

cheers to that!

Cosmic Joy said...

On one hand, you say the poll results are disturbing. On the other hand, you hand out pointers to cheaters.

On one hand, you say that a person should follow their heart and do what makes them happy. And on the other hand, you take them on a guilt trip and talk about karma.

I am confused :)

Pavi!!!! said...

1st..i like the the way u've organized this post...the thing abt the user manual n then it was Anti-cheaters... if u kno wat i mean.

hmm when i look @ the response of ur poll, I'm happy coz I realise there are so many honest ppl. It takes guts to admit.

Then the much asked Q..what is cheating?Is it wrong of a committed person to
-have a crush on someone else for a brief period?
-find another person extremely beautiful/handsome
-njoy talking(not flirting) and spedning time with sum1 of the opp sex?[vice versa for gays]

n i feel if not at all times, atleast the 1st time a person cheats..(s)he would go thru' would be hard for him/her and probably need counselling more than the victim ie the one being cheated. If counselled the 1st time, mabbe they wont cheat again.

Solitaire said...

@ neeku, dont worry. They will also find a manual for themselves somewhere.

@ cinderella, got no extra money here. Thanks for the compliment!

@ Deepaliiiiiiii, no!! Hang in there is not hang in there in the relationship. Just hang in there..don't fall apart...don't lose hope!!

Solitaire said...

@ Cosmic, haha!! Ya giving pointers to cheaters and then warning them these pointers are useless (in case they all got excited about them). The gist, don't cheat, and if you do, no matter how "well" you think you are doing it, you will be exposed!

Solitaire said...

@ Pavi, I am glad you got the point of the way its organized! I think it does not take too many guts to admit that one cheated on an anonymous poll. Also, the poll allowed multiple answers. I am pretty sure that some of them have multiple answers in there. Those might have cheated may also have been cheated on and so forth.

What is considered cheating is a good question. The answer is very subjective. To some people watching porn is cheating, to some porn is ok but strip clubs are not, and to others, strip clubs are not ok and neither is talking to another woman or man!!

Why cheating occurs is altogether another Pandora's box. One can never pinpoint one reason. So it is not clear who needs the counseling more, the cheater or the victim.

Pavi!!!! said... is anonymous and ohhhhhhh..u can choose multiple answers!! I dint know bot of that , thanks for enlightening me!
I alwez thot u knew the answers i was choosing...not that , that changed my responses!

yeah...i was also trying to say the same thing... definition of cheating is subjective. But wat matters is the thots that is in a person's head. I cld njoy spending time with a certain guy, but wats in my head when i talk to that guy is what will define whether im cheating or not.

n yes a reason for cheating can't be pinpointed.Infact i guess the reason will differ on a case to case basis.n so mabbe both the cheater and cheated should go counselling to make thier lives better.

carolinagal said...

Good post girl!

I find the first part kinda funny. I mean, I'm sure there are people who cheat, and then follow these rules, and then end up getting caught because they were trying too hard to hide the truth!!..

Like point #8 LOL!! I can just imagine some Joe Blo talking to his other girlfriend in his sleep; or better yet, calling out her name while in bed with his other partner ;)

Keshi said...

WOW excellent post girl! U hv me in awe. U sure r a brilliant psychologist :)

**heart of steel

loved that. So true ha.

I hate ex is a massive flirt and there were times I cudnt handle it.

Cheating is dirty business.


Anjuli said...

heavy stuff for me darling.....

pehle partner mil jaaye....phir iske baare mein sochenge....

Solitaire said...

@ Carolinagal, haha! Its a solid message with a tinge of comedy in it.

@ Keshi, some people are born cheaters. Can't help it. I am glad the ex is an ex now.

@ Anjuli, partner kabhi toh ban jayega na. Manual padhke rakh.

Ekta said...

I cant beleive theyr actually trying to make cheating "foolproof"..
But no matter what we write or tell...people who have to do it will still go they say some people just need to burn their fingers to learn!

vagabond dreamer said...

why the hand book for cheaters all of a sudden. ?

Pri said...

heyy sneha, please can i link this this post of urs in something i have written to a prompt for 'sunday scribbles'?? :)

please allow me to direct more readers to ur blog and spread the social message :p

elusive said...

i read sometime bak in some mag tat a woman tends to forgive her better half caught cheating if hes just havin a fling, but she cant tolerate a man being emotionally closer to some other woman.weird! be it any cheating i think it sucks.

Solitaire said...

@ Ekta, that is very true! And I doubt they will read a manual before they cheat. And if they do, hahahhaah!

@ Pri, How do these prompts work? I have seen them in your posts but never understood what it's all about. Feel free to have as many people read this manual as you can. :)

Solitaire said...

@ Vagabond, "all of a sudden"? Aren't all my posts about everything all of a sudden? How come this question never comes up then? Why nostalgia all of a sudden? No one asked me that!

@ Elusive, I have read the same too. And I have also read that men will not forgive their women if they slept with someone but will do so easily if it has only been emotional cheating. I guess that's how hum tum is.

Pri said...

@ solitaire
its quite simple actually...there are these sites which give u prompts to be taken up and then u gotta write on them and submit to the site...
for further info,check out my other blog (
there are these links of those 'blogprompt' sites ive added in the side column...u can take it from there :)
and thanks..if i do get about posting that post on time, i'l definitely mention this post of urs in it :)
take care!

AVINASH said...

"Practice makes man (woman) perfect"
Is it true??? :D :P

rayshma said...

very very well put... really liked it.
just had a conversation with a friend whose gurlfren's been cheating on him... think i'll fwd this article to him :)

Solitaire said...

@ Pri, I checked them out. Its pretty cool!!

@ Avinash, you mean one who cheats over and over again will become adept at it? Try it and let us know. God bless you.

@ Rayshma, and maybe forward it to the girlfriend too!

AVINASH said...

Actually I meant not in tat way .. but it was actually a joke that U wrote so many things ... so u must be pretty keen to observe these things only if... U know (had much practice)..... :D Just kidding...

Mez said...

Ahh i rememb readin this. Did i tell u that i have read a lot of ur old posts already? All one fine day..

vagabond dreamer said...

hey i didnt mean to offend you solitaire its just that i was a lill surprised by the sudden turn of events and why u dug up an old post to repost. thats all, no offcence meant.

divya said...

reading the first half - omg, sneha di is encouraging cheating :P

second hald i was like- thats my sneha di :P

nik said...

good checklist of does and don't s for infidelity prone folks. But you know what, cautious people who try to cover their tracks get caught faster.

i guess that I'm too late to take part in the poll (was in the city of Lost Wages a.k.a. Sin City for a week :)), but for what it's worth I'll admit to cheating during past relationship and yeah i did feel lousy about it later.

Anonymous said...

I was thought of as the person who was cheating.. ahh well! I was loyal at the time :)

and thats what i checked the option :)

Solitaire said...

@ Avinash, oh!

@ Mez, yes!

@ Vagabond dreamer, oh!

@ Divya, hehe..:D

@ Nik, tcch tcch!

@ Veens, never mind..past is past.

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

Whoaa..true. Cheating is a pathetic thing to do. Disgusting, insensitive, horrible.