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Saturday, March 22, 2008

Hum Tum V


What Women Want...
Seems like there is not much confusion here even though men and women do emerge as poles apart..
This post took me more than 10 hours to compile!!

Thanks for all your input, feedback, comments!!!

HERE GOES!

She: If only men would love for love itself

He: If only women would understand that there are things in this world other than love.

(Like what? Sex?)

*********************************

She: If only men would be more patient before jumping on to the next level of a romantic relationship.

He: If only women would understand that sports, sex and beer are really the only things that guys really care about.

She: If only men would realise the depth of relationships than see it as a great past-time.

(But relationships do end up being a good past-time....you keep waiting by the phone for hours and your whole day passes in crying!)

***********************************

She: If only men would try to understand us.

He: If only women would understand men.

(If the above two happened, this post would not be here!)

************************************

He: If only women would understand that mostly we don't understand

She: If only men would stop saying that it is in their nature to not understand.

(Then what will you fight about? Then Tu Tu Main Main would not have existed!)

*************************************

She: If men would understand that women are different - not better, not worse, just different - and let them be.

He : If only women would come with manuals or probably come out with an idiots guide to girls.

She: If only men would realize that women are actually simple and not as complicated as they think!

She: If only men would realise we are actually not very difficult to understand or for that matter please... :D

He: If only women would explain things rather than simple "hmpf!!"


She: If only men would be a little sensible.

(Is this idiot's guide good enough men?)

**************************************

He: If only women would talk less

She: If only men would actually hear and UNDERSTAND!

He: If only women would shut up and not yap

She: If only men would understand the importance of
communication and conversations

He: If women would realize that guys are not perfect but are willing to listen. :)

She: If only men would learn to listen, not just hear.

(Women, I think that even if men heard or listened, they will not DO anything about it and only turn to sports again...will you complain more then?)

**************************************

He: If only women would be women

She: If only men would realize that it's not all that easy being a woman.

He: If only women would be a man for few days

She: If only men would be a little like us!

(Imagine hairy women and pregnant men walking down the streets...what a scene!)

**************************************

He: If only women would tell us how they can cry at the drop of a hat.

She: If only men would dare to shed a tear

He: If only women would not start crying just when we are about to win an argument

She: If only men realise that women don't cry without a reason.

He: If only women be less vain and more sensible, there would be less tears to cry.

(Seems like if men start crying and women stop crying, Kleenex is going to benefit anyway!)

****************************************

She: If only men were emotionally as strong as women.

He: If only women would be less emotional.

She: If only men would have the courage of displaying their emotions!


He: If only women would understand that men are not the emotionless, heartless freaks that they are made out to be.. just because we do not say all the mushy talk expected out of us.

She: If only men would NOT BE SOO INSENSITIVE

He: If only women would understand that men are as sensitive as themselves if not more.

(They do display emotions!! Their eyes bulge out when they see a nice rounded ass, they punch the wall when their favorite sports team loses, and they swear when they lose the lottery!)

************************************

He: If only women would understand the value of men, world would achieve peace for ever...

She: If only men would not doubt too much ... that we love them for who they are.

*************************************

He: If only women would not pretend and confess they like our chivalry.

She: If only men would stop plucking their nose , and think that farting and burping is just OK!

(Women, don't tell me you do not pluck your nose and fart EVER?!)

**************************************

He said: If only women stop cribbing/bi*ching and start living.

She said: If only men looked into our eyes than simply heard the words.

************************************* *

She: If only men would understand what goes on in a girl's mind, perhaps that would solve all complications and complexities of relationships..

He: If only women would say what's in their heart rather than expect guys to understand.

She : If only men would think with their head rather than with their d***

*****************************************

He: If only women keep their legs together, they could leash God!!!

She: If only men knew a woman
more than what they choose to know.

******************************************

She: If only men would learn to respect EVERY WOMAN they meet.

He: If only women would realize someday.. That they are not GOD..!!!

*******************************************

He: If only women would realize the importance of an india-australia cricket match

She: If only men loved greys anatomy as much as women do :)

He: If only women understand men and sports

She: If only men would understand what goes on in a girl s mind, perhaps that would solve all complications and complexities of relationships

********************************************

She: If only men wud stop being protective...life would b heaven!!

He: If only women would allow us to pamper to our fulfillment

She: If only women would come out of their perceived notions about how they must behave to b classified as a 'hunk'

********************************************

She: If only men would wax or shape eyebrows, they would appreciate women a little more

He: If only women would not care too much about how they look :)

*************************************

She: If only men would quit thinking that every female fren might be a potential girlfren.....

He: If only women try being less judgmental upon meeting any stranger!

*************************************

He: If only women would realize, a world without men would mean, lots of happy fat women.

She: If only men would see the heart that still beats for them after (say) 10yrs of marriage and not the monotony, not the thick flab..not anything else.

***************************************

He: If only women would drink beer and watch sports

She: If only women would find life around them to be as interesting as world news.

****************************************

She: If only men would not assume that the fairer counterpart is stupid and weak at Math. Dude we do brains ... and at times they work faster than yours!

He: If only women would realize that NOT every man is a perverted jerk/asshole or whatever you call.

(Men, heard about Shakuntala Devi?)

******************************************

He: If only women would carry on being the sweet angels that they can be!!

She: If only men would love us for what we are.

(Women, try it. Stop waxing. Let's see if they still think we are angels and love us!)

*******************************************
Over and above all, an irate woman said
"If only men go back to Mars or let me go back to Venus!"

Another woman wishes "If men were a little taller." while another woman wishes that "men would see beyond those eyes."

(If men were taller, they would be able to look beyond the eyes, and even above the head!)

These two women want two different things...
One says, "If only men would open up than keep quiet like they missed their toilet break"
but the other cannot stand them talking and says, "if only men could shutup for a moment and LISTEN, not just HEAR.

(Good luck guys!!)

All these understanding and emotional women have a consensus in saying,

"If only men were not all logic and practicality and understood us and our emotions better!"

"If only men care to express their emotions and feelings"

"If only men not be afraid to realize their emotions."


"If only men would realise that there is nothing embarrasing abt expressing/ demonstrating feelings."
(Ladies, men did express their feelings, remember!!? They said they LOVE beer and sports!)

"If only men realize the value of a hug (not the romantic one)."

(They will say that they realize the value of a sexual hug instead..sigh!)

"If only men do not run from commitment like its plaque."

"If only men would be a little less hyper and a little more decisive...."


(Of course they run from commitment and cannot decide real quick when you expect a $6000 ring from Tiffany's!)

"If only men would return appreciation."

(They do give you orgasms for cooking good food...sigh!)

"If only men would delve half as deep as we do in a relationship."


And last but not the least, these women bring the men back to earth and say,

"If only men would clean up after themselves."

(If you clean up after them, they will call you angels, though!)

"If only come out of their perceived notions about how they must behave to be classified as a 'hunk'."

"If only men would stand up for us not just in physical wars but emotional as well."

(Don't you think you are expecting too much when you want these men to switch their eyes from the TV to you, stand up for you in physical wars despite the fact they are not tall, and fight emotional wars too when their emotions are limited only to love for sports?)

Men...are you willing to give women what they want???????????

52 Words of Wisdom:

Satish Bolla said...

well, sounds interesting. but believe me, i never thought/knew that there will these many differences between men and women. thanks for educating me

the basu said...

The battle of the sexes is an everlasting one.I wonder why we always pinpoint the shortcomings of the opposite sex;can't we praise for a change??

p.s:thanx for visitin my place...you have soo many blogs!how do you maintain?:O

d SINNER!!! said...

:)

this was expected...

Shruti said...

chucked all thru this and the previous.. hey please please let me into ur other blog "The Woes Of A Psychology Student" Really loved reading it.. shrutijii@gmail.com is my ID btw :)

Ravi said...

OMG!!

What a collection...BRAVO!!

Its like, reading an Encyclopedia of Human Relationships :)

As the McDonald's punchline goes, "I'm Lovin' It!"

Take care :)

rOhit said...

Well, honestly I just found 1-2 of 'em funny, rest just stuck as a hard attempt in making me grin. 'wannabes' Guess I'm this-a-point-ed :-|

And as I said once, this clearly portrays 'another' side of a women. :)

Uh..eh.. Never mind!

Nemesis said...

LOL

Cinderella. said...

Girl..this is interesting stuff !
Waiting for the full episode !!

Solitaire said...

@ Satish, I did not educate anyone! These are the responses you all gave me.

@ the basu, its not anyone's faults..the sentence structure was such that it was easier to pinpoint shortcomings. Maintaining these blogs is easy except for the past one week when I had limited internet access!!

Solitaire said...

@ D Sinner, :)

@ Shruti, did that! Did you get the invite?

@ Ravi, thanks!! These things will never change..

@ Rohit, "wannabe"??? I think I see a lot of those wannabe desis on Indian TV but here? In you guys' responses?? I trust these are genuine. Sorry they did not seem funny to you. Actually, they are not. Its serious that these differences lie between the two sexes.

Solitaire said...

@ Nemesis, :)

@ Cinderella, the rest of the stuff is pretty redundant but will add it nonetheless.

Keshi said...

Nice start Solitaire..loving it :)

These quotes by both men and women show that alot of women see less Emotion in men and alot of men see more Emotion in women. Its good that thats being realised.


And I love this song!

Keshi.

c e e d y said...

I am enjoying it while it lasts.

dharmabum said...

u can't do without the opposite sex, yet you're always at war with them. :)

Bubbles of FireWhiskey said...

lolz... i think that men and women keep taking it in turns to look at each other and hence keep missing each other... [:P]

Sam said...

i'll wait for "what women want" :D
with your analysis as well!! :)

maverick said...

He: If only women keep their legs together, they could leash God!!!


this one was awesome :D

btw blog updated :)

Pavi!!!! said...

Phew! These differences between men n women!oh well...Honestly I'm tired!

rOhit said...

Well, I never said anything about the differences between the sexes. Thats a universal truth, no krack jack!
I just raised a point on the "way" this has been put up. The "way" this has been written!

Nevertheless, decent show.

I'm a jerk? I know. :)

gunj said...

i dnt knw if its alrite but i relate to the men much more :(

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi, its unbelievable how many women said that they wanted men to express more emotions! Seems like people do not like this post. No one is commenting..

@ Ceedy, while what lasts?

@ Dharmabum, ya..and we just cannot accept them for what they are.

@ Bubbles, I don't know..I am so tired. Did your bf read this?

Solitaire said...

@ Sam, I tried doing that but I am too biased, hence this post.

@ Maverick, but that's what a man said..not a woman!! What is your take on what women want?

@ Pavi, I am toooo tired. Firstly, this post took too long. Secondly, I do not think people appreciate it. Thirdly, you know all the other stuff is keeping me away from blogosphere!

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit, I spent a lot of time on it. It may as well be decent.

@ Gunj, talk to Anjuli. She does too!!! Its ok by me..is it ok by the men?

Ankur said...

hehehe...
i cant stop laughing, not coz i dont believe in it, but beacuase much of it is true this time round ;) (men do accpet their mistakes sometimes :D )

but i will definitely point out those few i really liked... :D

//She: If only men would realise the depth of relationships than see it as a great past-time.//
True most of the times

//She: If only men would stop saying that it is in their nature to not understand//
ehehehe... :D

//She: If only men would learn to listen, not just hear.// its in our genes now, sometimes i wonder will this ever go???

//He: If only women would understand that men are as sensitive as themselves if not more.// they cant be, scientifically proven fact!!!

//She said: If only men looked into our eyes than simply heard the words.// words should not ruin the beauty of love in silence, coz ur body, soul, eyes, hands, all of them speak for the silence!!!

//She: If only men would learn to respect EVERY WOMAN they meet.
He: If only women would realize someday.. That they are not GOD..!!!//
every bit in this world in feminine, During development, the embryo follows a female template until about six weeks, so all men are female for 6 weeks of their life...
She keeps you in her womb for 9 months, bearing all the pain in this world, feeling happy, there is no reason they shouldnt be called GOD!!!

//She: If only men would understand what goes on in a girl s mind, perhaps that would solve all complications and complexities of relationships//
sometimes there is just too much...

//He: If only women try being less judgmental upon meeting any stranger!// exactly, a girl friend and a lover, theres a whole lot of difference in these 2 terms...

//(If men were taller, they would be able to look beyond the eyes, and even above the head!)/// *ROFL

and emotions are not limited to love and sports, believe me, but as u said, we are emotional week, so more the reason we cant admit most of it, coz we have the fear of misinterpreted...

and yes, i am willing to give wat my woman wants... everything.

I admire and i adore every woman on this planet, coz after living in this unipolar world, she still has the strength of giving her best, to stand up and deliver!!!

P.S. I hope none is going to read between the lines here :D *ROFL

Keshi said...

hahaha Solitaire I absolutely LOVED ur every comment in the post babe!

**(Ladies, men did express their feelings, remember!!? They said they LOVE beer and sports!)


**(They will say that they realize the value of a sexual hug instead..sigh!)


ROFL! U rock hun!


And if only men realised that they r higly physical and women are highly emotional. Some men refuse to even believe that LOL! If we hv that understanding between us for starters, mebbe we can work things out.


*HUGZ*

Keshi.

Keshi said...

***(They do give you orgasms for cooking good food...sigh!)


hahahahaha I cant stop laughing!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

**They will say that they realize the value of a sexual hug instead..sigh!)


LOL I know so many guys (actually all the guys in the world wud do that)...forget completing the sentence!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

**Of course they run from commitment and cannot decide real quick when you expect a $6000 ring from Tiffany's!

LOL Solitaire thats another good one!


Keshi.

Keshi said...

So yeah MEN wut say?

Anyways I hv met some real nice committing loving honest men...u know where - in the movies, books and blogs. *rolling eyes*

Where r they in real?


Keshi.

Keshi said...

hey Solitaire!

**Keshi, its unbelievable how many women said that they wanted men to express more emotions!

Dear Men, isnt it pretty obvious atleast now???



**Seems like people do not like this post. No one is commenting..

LOL Solitaire Im not surprised. Atleast we women commented in the 'What Men Want' post.


Let the few men who refuse to believe they r less emotional, continue to show that they r nothing but that! INSENSITIVE. :)


I guess there r some men who still care and are sensitive to women's feelings..cos I can see some Men commenting here and kudos to them!



Keshi.

♥bμşγ-ŵŗϊŧēŕ♥ said...

nicely compiled!! :) read the individual posts too.. u musta taken a lotta time out to compile it all!

cheers! :)

rayshma said...

loved the way this has turned out... :0)

Karthik S said...

This is REALLY REALLY "AWESOME".

Fantastic compilation.

It took so much time for me just to read.

Compiling all these....

oh god... GREAT !!!

Cheers :-)

Prachi said...

wellll.....i simply loved the pics....

awesome compilation. I was rolling over the floor laughing. :D

if only both men and women wud understand that thr wud be no fun if they got everything that they wanted frm thr better halves. :D

JUST CHILL CHILL......loveeed the post

cheers ;)

R3d3MpTioN said...

Are you for real.. this is awesum ..!! seriously didn't think this would turn out to be this good.. I see fitting replies to some of my comments.. seemingly life ain't so hopeless afterall.. there is still chance for girls and guys to coexist ..peacefully and maybe even hope to "understand" each other (well to a certain extent maybe..) Neways if people like you work towards this cause I don't see why it can't be done..!!

kudos to ya for a wonderful post.. mazaa aagaya .. sachchi!!

Solitaire said...

@ Ankur, LOL!!! Guess you have been entertained a lot by this post huh? Nice to see a MAN accepting mistakes but I have ridiculed some women;s comments too..

"Don't fart and don't pluck your nose"? Women do that too!!!

Women has the ability to deliver is it? What? children? HAHA!

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi, who are those men? Ask them to read my post. Or maybe they will bash me up too! Keshi, I have met some real nice and honest men but all taken. :(

Sometimes, I wonder, if we did get such men for real, would we like them? We are so used to men being mean that we might end up looking for men like that..so that we can complain, crib, bitch and create Hum tums!

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi, there are some men who are nice enough to laugh at these jokes rather than creating wars in the comment section. I wonder what the women would have done if I would have ridiculed them?!

BTW, I completed my "10 things I like about Men" tag!

Solitaire said...

@ Busy Writer, a looooooooooooooong time. I was a "busy writer" for a change. Thanks for stopping by!

@ Rayshma, bus?! That's it? SOB!

@ Karthik, haha Thanks! It did take me a super long time. Now spread the word amongst other male friends. I wanna know what men think of this post.

Solitaire said...

@ Prachi, haha! thank you so much! seriously if men and women did understand each other, where would I get the inspiration to write a Hum Tum V?

@ Redemption, do not tell me you had lost hope after seeing so many heterosexual couples around!? These are innate differences which will stay around to make us laugh, no matter how much we crib about it. thanks for stopping by!

Keshi said...

hey Solitaire tnxx hun!

**@ Keshi, there are some men who are nice enough to laugh at these jokes rather than creating wars in the comment section.

I know wut u mean. Isnt it shocking! LOL!



**I wonder what the women would have done if I would have ridiculed them?!

I think we'd prolly not deny our weaknesses...we'd just laugh it off and also give an explanation LOL! :):)


*HUGZ*


Keshi.

Ankur said...

yes ji, i am a lot entertained, well, sometimes they have to, before it gets too late its better to come out and accept...
and yeah... i can see, you have ridiculed few, and look at the reactions... last time round no one was sayin a word, comebody even commented on my criticality ;)

heehe.. yeah.. women do tat
and like this one too :D
//She: If only men would realise we are actually not very difficult to understand or for that matter please... //


//She: If only men would wax or shape eyebrows, they would appreciate women a little more///
and look ridiculous... :P
:P

and btw... yes, they can certainly deliver babies for sure, coz its a wonderful gift, but they can deliver a lot more, u know wat m talkin abt, isnt :)

Iceman said...

Lolz.. good read... got to know the women's point of view...

vEENs said...

well Men are you ready to give women wht they want???

y cant men be like AB junior :-|

He i sperfect ... for me !

Kishore said...

This is a grt stuff....

even though it is very long...(too long to my liking)...

Some of the stuff were really awesome

Sam said...

am lost in the myriad thoughts expressed by the ladies....
i think..
as for givingt hem what they want... yet to find a lady complaining!! :)

elusive said...

Nice theme you got here..hum tum..and the post's hilarious ;)..i hate guys who wanna be pampered..the "tolia laao" types..am like u got one mum why do u need another? and this is something i see more in the indian men.hmpf.

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

hehe.... interesting :-)
but i feel like it is more biased in a way...
I tried to be a little neutral in my article... but awesome job :-)

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi, to be honest, I think the women would get all upset and abandon my blog for months. Not only that, they would also write hate posts for me.

@ Ankur, I think people are mum this time because they are fed up of the men-women differences.

@ Iceman, good! Now remember the lessons you learned from this post.

Solitaire said...

@ Veens, come on now. That's asking for too much!

@ Kishore, trust me its too long for my liking too. But the women loved to complain.

@ Sam, I do not blame you. But if you did not read it, how will you give women what they want?

Solitaire said...

@ Elusive, bingo!! But I guess that is the way they were raised. Mom always at their beck and call and now they expect wifey to do that.

@ Raaji, how can a post with verbatim sentences from readers be biased? Its more genuine and true than anything else!

Ankur said...

yes yaa... u r right...

so lets start something else, some other war.. may be with aliens...

jokes apart, but i guess, they cant be ever, but they r mum, coz they r short of words...

P.S. I am inspired, not cheating!!!
tats for anu malik... :D
*ROFL