Thursday, March 13, 2008

My First Love..

My last post may have sounded very realistic but to tell you the truth, I am quite romantic at heart. As a child, merely ten, I was swayed by romantic movies, and dreamed that I would be part of a similar love story one day. I would play soft music, and roll on the bed, with my dupatta flying all over the place, pretending that I was in love. Everyday, after I got back from school, I would practice feeling shy in front of the mirror. I would fling my hair like I was starring in a Halo Shampoo commercial and position the fan on my face so that I would look like a model. All this when my mom was busy.

I have even fantasized being a martyr, the sacrificing mother who goes hungry only to feed her children and see to it they are healthy. With my little babies, I travelled through murky waters during the floods, and even had a huge towel stuffed under my skirt to dramatize the effect. What can be more painful than to see a pregnant young mother dragging her babies in a boat in knee deep water?

All this was imaginary. Until I experienced the real deal. I fell in love. With a real man.

I truly lost my sleep at night, I swear. I was unable to concentrate on my homework. And I no longer had to act like I was in love when I lay down on my bed. It came naturally; the blushes, the shyness, the rolling on the bed, everything. Every song that I listened to reminded me of him. Aaah..I was in love.

I envisioned getting married to him, and that soon became a recurrent dream. I hunted for his phone number and even asked around. And when I finally did get it, I did nothing with it. Everytime I picked up the phone to call him, my fingers trembled, my heart fluttered, and I was tongue-tied. And then the martyr that I was, I decided that loving him was enough and that I did not want him to know how much I loved him.

One dreadful day, my friend called me and told me that he was married. I was dumbstruck and refused to believe her. However, many other sources told me that this fact was true. I was truly heartbroken. But I was not angry at him. It was not his fault, I told myself. If only he had met me earlier, he would have married me. Needless to say, I hated his wife, without knowing anything about her.

This is the story of my first love, my one-sided love, my encounter with Aamir Khan. I still love him today (I SWEAR!). When he decided to marry Kiran Rao on the 28th of December, 2005, I was heartbroken once again. Especially since I was in Mumbai on that day, and it was only 2 days after my birthday. And I told myself once again, "if only he had met me earlier....."

Oh well!! Today is a special day. Its my first love's birthday! So let's come together and wish him many many happy returns of the day.


P.S: Comments with kisses to Aamir Khan will not be published. I am very possessive.

61 Words of Wisdom:

Ghost Particle said...

amir khan is ok....while not many can meet the personality and character of george clooney, mat damon, etc but amir is ok. :P

carolinagal said... sweet:)
Happy Birthday Aamir,,, my future Jija (heehee).

carolinagal said...

BTW, did you ever write to him on his blog?

Solitaire said...

@ Ghost, stop being jealous!

@ Carolinagal, I hope he is your future jeeja..And yes, I do write to him.

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

There is a song that says, first love never dies. First love is sweet because it is our first taste of that feeling and strong emotion where we want somebody badly. Too bad, like all fairy tales, it did not work out well for you. I may be wrong, but is that Amir a Bollywood movie star? Thanks for the emotional post. God bless you and your loved ones always.

c e e d y said...


Happy boiday to aamir - you still have lingering "pehla nasha"....interesting..

Mel also left a funny message on my blog with reference to your comment....

carolinagal said...

Aay Hai !!! ;)

Neeku said...

did you know that he has a blog too.... seriously! not joking...

here you go... probably you already know about it... anyways...

happy birthday Aamirjijaaji :D

Sweetstickychewy said...

Are u Serious?:O U got his numbeR!? WOW...i am in awe.

And now i am seriously wishing you married him instead. I mean how cool would it be to know and communicated with Aamir Khan's wife. ;)

And Happy Bday to Your SWEETHEART.:D


Keshi said...

MWAH....Aam...I mean Solitaire LOL!


Rahul... in City of Dreamz said...

:) .. I am sure you scared a lot of your admirers in this post. . I can almost hear a collective sigh of relief :) ..
And yeah . . Happy birthday to aamir. . Our favourite actor :)

nik said...

my best friend was also in love with a celebrity ... still think he is .. despite she being married .... this post reminded me of him ... this was a nice "fantasy" post to read.

you and i both i know another person who has the hots for a celebrity .... and the celeb being ME!!!

Pri said...

ahem ahem!!
happy birthday sneha! ;)
(remember those college days when u wish the gf/bf of the budday girl/boy?)

Pri said...

do we get a treat from u btw?? :p

Sam said...

rest assured!! ia in't gonna kiss aamir!! :P do convey my wishes to him!! :D :)
hmmm... come ot think of it... wen was my first "crush"???
damn can't remember!!!

and i really can't believe you used to do all those stuff????? do u still practice now??? i wonder!!!! crazy gal!!! :D

Amit said...

why dont u try writing a novel? I almost felt like a bad part of your life...but then its our Aamir...Ah...what a relief..!!

"Ah...well, Happy Birthday Aamit...oh no....Aamir...
May you change ur decision in next 5yrs... we've another candidate ready.. God bless"

Ravi said...

Here's something for you, sweetheart!

Take care :)


KP! said...

Happy bday to ur Man....:)

"P.S: Comments with kisses to Aamir Khan will not be published. I am very possessive"

No worries he is all yours....:).

rOhit said...

Haha! Nice post.
This year itself in Jan I was about to meet Aamir Khan on a shooting but he got his plans changed and I ended up meeting Salman Khan. :P

*Sigh* I guess now I'll have to wait for few more yrs. till I get in touch with him regarding some script. I'll surely tell him about you. :P


Trust me I'm a die hard loyal fan,a/c,heater,cooler,blower,freezer too. :)

BIG Omi said...

Hey the blog was pretty prognostic.. I got the hint of the end only when you started it .. I have read all your blogs and u mentioned in one of them about the license you got from your mother to keep Aamir's poster..
Anyways Happy B'day to 'THE DUDE'..
And you too have a Fervoured Time..
I will Entreat my lord for you to have some good time with THE DUDE in time to come..
Best Regards.

Cosmic Joy said...

Is you sure it is your first Love Actually?? :)

rayshma said...

hehe... here's wishing ur first love a very happy b'day! :)
btw, u have good taste. me like u.

Raghu Iyer said...

ha ha ha...'aaapppyyy birthdey to Amir Khan...
nice blog from a psychologist...indeed...gud one

Solitaire said...

@ Mel, please pray to God to make him MINE in my next birth!

@ Ceedy, Mel's comment is tooooo funny! I burst out laughing.

@ Neeku, oh yes..I know he has a blog and also comment on his posts. :)

@ Sweetstickychewy, maybe if all of you got together and prayed, I could become his wife.

Solitaire said...

@ Keshi!!! I would not have spared you!

@ Rahul, our favorite actor, but MY love. :)

@ Nik, you are a celebrity? where? In Meadowrun?

@ Pri, thanks..:) I do have a party at my place tonight. Stop by! Are you bringing presents?

Solitaire said...

@ Sam, oh trust me. I AM still crazy but manage to disguise it well!!

@ Amit, after the latest disaster on Calm Frenzies, my desire to write a novel has died. But one thing I know, my desire to marry Aamir won't die.

@ Ravi, OMG!! Thank you soooooooo much!

@ KP, try telling that to some other girls. :)

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit! Are you serious? OMG!! Please do remember me when you meet him again, or better still, please let me know. I will fly down and meet him with you..PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! Oh but don't show him this post. He might not like me for hating his wife.

@ Big Omi, thanks! Please pray hard!!!

@ Cosmic, pretty positive. :)

Solitaire said...

@ Rayshma, thanks!! You like Aamir and hate SRK just like me!?

@ Raghu, thanks! I am not a psychologist. Just a girl in love. :)

Vandita said...

hehe this is damn cute, i might never admit in public but even i used to do a lot of those things in the first para...:) {not the martyr part though}
Happy Bday Aamir...:)

Solitaire said...

@ Vandita, jab pyar kiya toh darna kya??

Pavi!!!! said...

Awww...sooo sweet! Really u like him sooooooooo much that u wanted to MARRY him?
I've heard about gurls being crazzy abt stars, but its the 1st time that its someone i know!!!

I'm gonna be honest..I'm laughing so much!A Very Happy B'day to YOUR Dear Aamir. May he be urs soon ;-)

nik said...

meadow run is only my favorite haunt ... my celeb status extends all the way to the far reaching corners of the US of A (including california).

ok .. gtg ... autograph time!

:: Clouds :: said... sweet!
Happy Birthday to Jiju!


And kisses to you. ;)

rOhit said...

Sadly, there's yet few more yrs. to go till I "actually" become a film-maker.
So, WE have to wait [i]lil bit.[/i] But the deal is final for sure! :)

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit, WHATTTTTTT! You are going to become a film maker? PLEASE caste me in your film opposite him. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I can act, I can! Will send you some videos of mine. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

@ Pavi, yes!!! I still wanna marry him. :(

@ Nik, hah! You wish?!

@ Cloud, aah thank you! Good you gave me kisses and not him.

elusive said...

will kisses to shahrukh be published? a HUGEEEE srk fan! and it's gotta do more with the kinda guy he is than his acting abilities :D
So here goes-MWWWAAAAAAAAH Srk!

Solitaire said...

@ Elusive, Thank you for coming to my blog. Unfortunately, I cannot publish your kisses to SRK TODAY. It will be an insult to Aamir. Will do that tomorrow. :)

rOhit said...

Haha! Now you're sounding like a sweet sixteen girl in "true" love. :)

But first lemme become a film-maker na. And still, you "really" need to be a good actor, coz I'm very choosy and serious when it comes to acting and my characters. No maska would work there. So you better start polishing your skills. :P

Or else, you might just end up getting a movie premiere pass from my side. :P

Satish Bolla said...

this post was one of your best. this sounded very filmy but beleive me, it has the innocence of a teenager. the only guy i like in the entire indian cinema is this guy. proud to have u in my bandwagon but u r of the other kind. u love him and if i love this guy, people will doubt me enough. jokes apart, aamir rocks

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit, I swear I am a great actress. I have won awards in college for that. Ask Carolinagal..she will vouch for all the acting I did in school too. And I always used to be cast as Sita during Diwali and Mary during Xmas. Really!!

@ Satish, yes he does!!! And when it comes to my first love, I am still a teenager!

rOhit said...

I just happened to saw "Cold Frenzies" (guess thats the name). So you write stories as well? Hmmm... Can't comment about the content coz didn't read (sheer laziness).But promise to be back, if only it managed to impress me your work as a writer for me will be finalized on hand. Imagine writing a script for an Aamir movie. :P

Ok, enough of self bragging.
I'll shut up now!

Cinderella. said...

OO la la....the yummy chocolate boy !!!

Girl, of all the movies I've seen of him, there's one thing thats similar throughout...

He's a yum yum chocopie..totally edible..rem'ber QSQT...


rOhit said...

Okay! Now thats impressive. You know, besides being an aspiring film-maker, acting still runs deep inside my nerves as my first love. But you wont like being cast opposite me, never mind I might settle up with a lil cameo.*Sigh!*

Anywayz, back to sense! So with that strong resume I guess I can surely give it a thought. Just a formality of sorts auditions *without* any casting 'ouches, and there you are DONE! ;)

I just wish Aamir too is as desperate to work with US. :P

Sunil said...

First Love has an everlasting memory.
& one thing about Amir Khan is that Amir Khan is Amir Khan.
I'm a big fan of him too. Not only for what he is no the screen but also for the kind of person he is.

Thanks for such a wonderful read.
have a nice time. :)

Mez said...

My my u love Aamir so much!!Before i say hez is ok n u come bashing me..i guess i shud just flee away from ur space.Lol
Wud Aamir look alike do for u?

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

All girls are infatuated with their crushes at some point in their lives. This infatuation can grow into monster proportions if not checked and outgrown in time. I doubt if he is your first love since he is your idol. Idols are not loved (personally). They are put in a pedestal to be admired (I don't want to use the word adored). Love and admiration are two different things. You will find your true love in some point in time and you will realize that your feeling for Asmir was not true love but just plain admiration (hero worship) and you will laugh at your naivette. But enjoy your admiration while it last. The time will come when you will meet your true love and you wiil shed tears of joy when you finally find him. Thanks for your emotional post. God bless you and your loved ones always.

Ghost Particle said...

no im not!

Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say LOL:P

confused teju said...

happy birthday aamir....[:)]

Gangsta Markiv said...


Happy bday to da man. He sure is da man. And I hope you had a nice day cutting cakes and distributing them to the kids around. Well then he is one of the few good looking actors in India (sadly !)

Have a good one and hope there is always the next chance, don't miss the bus then :-]

Ravi said...

Snapshots: Aamir Khan celebrates his birthday

Take care :)

divya said...

happy birthday to Aamir!!

badshah khan said...

so did u post on his blog for his bday ???

Solitaire said...

@ Rohit, please don't have me build castles in the air! I am very good at that.

@ Cinderella, :)

@ Thanks Sunil, welcome to my blog.

@ Mez, nooooo..only Aamir. You know any look-alikes?

Solitaire said...

@ Mel, at this point I can only imagine shedding tears of joy when I meet Aamir.

@ Ghost, ya right!

@ Illusion, say nothing!

@ Thanks Teju.

@ Gangsta, oh no! I don't want him to go through another divorce if its painful. But if its not, I will gladly take him!

Solitaire said...

@ Ravi, thanks dear! You are awesome!!!

@ Divya, thanks!

@ Badshah, you bet I did!

Anonymous said...

i loved AK in sarfarosh, RDB, QSQT and of course DCH -- his best!!!
but he was equally horrible in Mela :(

Sam said...

hmmm.. interesting!!

Gazal said...

ha sorry dear you will have to share aamir with in the biggest fan title!!!!

was and am still crazy about him.

btw actually met him while he was shooting in its a dream come true!!!!

Anonymous said...

Thought you'll probably like this, in case you havent already seen it:

Ravi said...

Aamir Khan's new look!

Take care :)